We've all gotten just a bit too comfortable being jerks to strangers on the internet I think

So I've hidden this reply, both because it's obnoxious and because I don't want the person who wrote it being harassed for it, but I need you to understand: I don't know you. We are not friends. This is not fun or cute, we are not sharing a charming joke together. You are just being an asshole.

literally that is what the post is about, I am saying people should be less eager to jump on any chance to be snarky and rude to total strangers on the internet

It was a 'fuck you' with a ':D' for fucks sake, that's a nice connotation

I think that was a very affectionate 'fuck you'

I am frankly at a loss how to explain to you that strangers are not your friends, and what might be taken as affection in your groupchat might not be appropriate for people you don't know and have never spoken to before

Fucking hilarious the irony at play here. Maybe you should stop being a jerk to strangers OP

Being a jerk is when you ask people you don't know plainly and without ambiguity to stop coming into your house and swearing at you apparently

It's so weird and exhausting how "asking people to please stop being jerks" so often leads people to think "but actually I am funnier than everyone so when I am a jerk, this time, in the exact way you asked people but to be, it will be funny and not the exact kind of horrible that you said it is."

Please. You are a stranger. This is not funny. It's just exhausting.

Your acceptance of people who are “weird” or don’t follow social norms should not be conditional on them disclosing neurodivergence. 

You don’t owe anyone your story.

"Why don't you post your age" buddy, I have individual social media posts which are older than you purport to be, and I know you know this. I'm not sure what exactly you're proposing here – like, do you think this is a generational thing? That my online identity has been passed down from my father, and his father before him? Am I the heir to this blog?

Let’s hear it for lurkers

So apparently round umpty-zillion of “people are killing fandom by not commenting” is going around, and I’ve seen a few posts trashing people for lurking/viewing/reading instead of actively participating.

My journal and my fic has always been a lurker-friendly zone. I think lurkers are great and people can fight me on this. Here’s why:

We all started out as lurkers. Or at least most of us did. Come on. I’m sure some people out there must’ve jumped into fandom with both feet and started writing and commenting right away, and good for you if you did! But I sure didn’t. I lurked for YEARS. And even now, though I’ve been in fandom since before Y2K, whenever I get into a new fandom or a new social media platform, I still lurk. I hang out around the fringes for awhile to get a feeling for the place before starting to participate. Back in the mailing list/bulletin board days, it was usually recommended that people do that on purpose, watch and listen and learn the local lingo and social rules before diving in. So you know what? You are not doing anything wrong and you are not doing anything that most of the people you see out there commenting and creating and reccing things haven’t done themselves.

We all have lurker days, weeks, months …. Nobody is 100% “on” all the time. Participating in fandom (commenting, reccing, creating content, and so forth) is WORK. It may be fun work, but it still takes effort! Even if you’re sometimes very active in fandom, then you’ll have life fall on your head or the brain weasels flare up, and you won’t have the time and energy to give. Don’t feel guilty about not being able to give fandom your extra spoons. No one in fandom has a right to demand a single spoon from you that you don’t want to give.

Some of today’s lurkers may be your friends tomorrow. How do I know this? Because I’ve made friends with some of them myself! I’ve had people delurk in my comments to say hi after YEARS of reading my fanfic without saying a word. Which I am totally okay with, by the way. And some of these people are good friends today.

So, in conclusion:

Y'all have really got to stop circulating those "anything following a question mark in a URL is a tracking code, so you can remove it without affecting how the link works and they won't be able to track your activity!" posts.

Not only are there many types of URLs where you can't safely remove the bit following the question mark – this should be extremely obviously so to anyone who's ever paid attention to, for example, what a YouTube URL looks like – it's also giving folks a false sense of security: the fact that a URL doesn't have a question mark in it doesn't necessarily mean that it doesn't contain tracking data.

Like, yes, strip the tracking data out of your shared links if you can, that's just common courtesy, but there's no magic rule that will let you skip having to understand the URL structure of the site whose links you're sharing. Sometimes removing the stuff after the question mark will disable the tracking; sometimes it will make the link do something very different from what you expect it to do, or stop working entirely; sometimes it will accomplish nothing whatsoever.

you are not obligated to share details about the bad things you’ve been through. choosing not to share does not mean you’re alone.

there are people who will support you, even if they don’t know your whole story. there are people who still love you and want to keep you safe.

Start answering people’s invasive questions with “does it matter?”

Watch them explode lmao

reminder @ queer folks that you don’t have to disclose why you identify as queer to anyone if you don’t want to, especially when it’s clear the person asking you is doing so in bad faith. you are not obligated to give out every detail of your gender identity or orientation to some stranger so that they can decide whether you have the ‘right’ to call yourself queer or not. 🌈🦄

you are allowed to terminate toxic relationships

you are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you

you are allowed to be angry and selfish and unforgiving

you don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself

The fact that “My health is no one else’s business” is heavily considered a controversial statement will never cease to baffle me. Disabled people are not here for your entertainment simply because some of us have visible symptoms, or some symptoms that must be discussed for the sake of accessibility. If I don’t want to disclose information about my health that shouldn’t be seen as rude. Asking highly personal and inappropriate questions and not taking no for an answer, however, SHOULD be.

reminder @ queer folks that you don’t have to disclose why you identify as queer to anyone if you don’t want to, especially when it’s clear the person asking you is doing so in bad faith. you are not obligated to give out every detail of your gender identity or orientation to some stranger so that they can decide whether you have the ‘right’ to call yourself queer or not. 🌈🦄

me reading someone’s about and not seeing their race / ethnicity, then seeing a “longer about” link and click on that and STILL not seeing anything about their race or ethnicity

Since people’s reading comprehension on this site is terrible:

Keep reading

If it would be inappropriate or rude to treat a stranger a certain way offline, it’s still inappropriate or rude to treat them that way online.

Online life is real life. The people you speak to online are real, the things you say to them are real, their feelings about those things are real, the rules of basic respect and common decency are the same. If you would never in a million years consider treating a person “in real life” a certain way because you know that that behavior is wrong and uncalled for, then it’s no more acceptable to treat someone that way online either.

Seriously though, it’s both weird and kind of concerning that people on tumblr feel entitled to other people’s personal information.

There seems to be this idea that if you don’t publicly expose every single detail about yourself, then you’re “hiding something” or “keeping secrets” or whatever.

I’ve seen it time and time again on this website, and honestly, this is a very toxic attitude to have. You are NOT entitled to other people’s personal information. What information a person is willing to share is entirely up to that person, and you have no right to demand that they hand over information they are unwilling to share.

We all have a right to privacy.