#interfaith dialogue – @aph-japan on Tumblr

Anonymous asked:

If an interfaith couple gets married (one Jewish, one whatever else), would their male guests be obligated to wear kippahs? Even if they aren't themselves Jewish?

progressivejudaism answered:

Hi there,

That’s a great question - one that depends on a variety of factors. (Please note, as this is a Progressive space I have swapped your original usage of the biological sex “male” to the gender as to be more inclusive of this imaginary couple’s wedding guests.

Factor #1: Is this a Jewish Wedding? Are there only Jewish officiant(s)? Will any other faith traditions be included- making this a wedding that is really not a Jewish wedding? If this isn’t a Jewish wedding (and yes, a Jew and a non-Jew can be married in a Jewish wedding), but an interfaith ceremony in which other faith traditions are included - why would you enforce people to wear Jewish ritual items? (Unless.. see factor 3)

Factor #2: If this is a Jewish Wedding, what is the theology of the officiating clergy? Would the rabbi(s) and/or cantor(s) normally police, men to wear kippot at their services? Would they police or encourage all genders to wear kippot at services?

Factor #3: Assuming that the clergy is comfortable with the couple making their own choices, what does the couple want? Would the couple feel more comfortable in this holy moment for their guests to wear kippot? Does it make a difference to them? If you grew up as a Conservative or Orthodox Jew (movements which discourage Jewish and non-Jewish marriage), would you feel more comfortable carrying the tradition that you (and/or your partner) grew up with having people wear kippot?

Factor #4: Think about the Jewish person’s Jewish family, how do they feel about this whole issue? Although you aren’t throwing a wedding for your family, there are certain traditions that’s absence might make them feel uncomfortable. Do you think Grandpa Alfred or Savta Sid, mom or dad, of Great Uncle Joe would feel uncomfortable if this custom wasn’t encouraged at your simcha (celebration)? How can you make this day both special for you and your partner, while also making sure that it is as easy as possible?

Bonus Factor: A beautiful American tradition for both Bnai Mitzvah and Jewish Weddings is the inclusion of customized kippot. Beyond personalizing the design to fit you and your partner’s style and your wedding theme, a little inscription from your event is written on inside of the design. Imagine the memories that these mementos will bring for your guests ten, fifteen, or even thirty years in the future when lighting their Hanukkah candles, or when grabbing a kippa on their way out to shul. On a personal note, my family’s collection of Bnai Mitzvah and wedding kippot is extremely holy to all of us!

I hope that this helps!

Shabbat Shalom!

#reform tag #parents tag #jewish #jewish positivity #jewish references #writing #writing references #jewish resources #resources #jewish characters #jewish weddings #jewish cultural wear #kippah #interfaith relationships #interfaith dialogue #interfaith families #interfaith weddings #interfaith relationships positivity #orthodox judaism #orthodox issues #sensitivity reading #goyim DO NOT DERAIL #judaism IS NOT XTIANITY #judaism IS NOT JUDEO XTIAN #interfaith households #reform judaism is not the same as orthodox judaism #please for the love of gd dont make me have to do endless breakdowns of this for you {if youre *kind* mutual ill maybe try to find things}#({For the Record: Grandmas Fam was mainly REFORM thus my OWN parents had a wedding in line with REFORM VIEWS})#({i.e. Mom did wear a more 'modest' dress *that Grandma specifically helped PICKED OUT}+PAID FOR Mom* but ive seen pics it was GORGEOUS)#(Mom could have EASILY turned down that decision but ENJOYED IT+Im pretty sure we still HAVE the dress somewhere in storage...)