I’m getting real tired of the ableds in my immediate circle proclaiming that the lockdown measures are a form of debilitating inhuman torture and makes life not worth living.

And yeah, this sucks. All of this sucks and is vastly damaging to people’s physical and mental health. We’re enduring a global trauma, the ramifications of which will likely be felt for decades.

But when it was just my daily life being housebound due to my disabilities, it was a-okay for you to abandon me to this life while using phrases like, “must be nice” and “sounds rough,” all said smilingly under the sneering veneer of implied laziness and choice.

So which is it? A fate worse than death you’d never willing choose, or a cake walk? Which is it? *flips table*

And btw, this is not to invalidate anyone who is struggling with the isolation of lockdown. Because this shit is hard. This is so, so hard and I wish none of us were going through this.

But I also need those people to realize that this is the reality of many of us living with disabilities and chronic conditions. We endure this level of isolation constantly. Sometimes for years and years, if not our whole lives. And it is often not our choice. But it can be the choice of those around us.

And I get it, it sucks when your friend is too ill to go anywhere and you just want to do fun shit. But it sucks worse for them. And you can choose. You can choose to be inclusive and do things they are capable of being a part of. Or you can choose to leave them behind and make assumptions that they’re just being lazy or a bad friend because on some level you can’t help but feel if they really wanted to do something, they’d do it.

All I’m asking for, begging really, is for a little mindfulness. Please stop comparing this life to a fate worse to death. Or if you really must make that comparison, ask yourself why you were okay with some of the most vulnerable people in society being left to endure it on their own. And why it took you a global pandemic to realize the inhumanity of it.

I truly do hope thing get better soon, I really, really do. But please don’t forget about us the moment you can safely go outside. Please don’t take away the newfound accessibilities that have been put into place that we were always told was impossible. Please fight for and with us. We’re so god damn tired.

i have. a lot of big complicated thoughts about how people tend to treat depression as like. as if it’s nothing. like it’s the most basic easiest mental illness ever. why do we do this. depression kills people. constantly. people will throw around “depression and anxiety” and say they’re totally normalized nonstigmatized disorders and then you realize they only think mild versions of these disorders exist. i have a laundry list of mental disorders and the only one that’s ever actually put my life at risk was depression. if you throw around depression as if it’s the mildest least harmful mental illness ever have you considered shutting the fuck up.

I fucking hate it when people say I'm going to be dependent on my mobility aids. Like, hell yes, I am dependent on them because I'm disabled and their function is to help me live better, I need these aids, they are not just ornaments.

AID = HELP. Mobility aid = help me to move! Help = good!

Disability focus = negativity?

It takes self-respect to stand up for my needs in a world that doesn’t accommodate them.

It takes creativity to find ways around inaccessibility.

It takes strength to face the inequality of the world and keep going.

It takes optimism to believe that things can change.

It takes solidarity to advocate for disabled people who are different from me.

It takes compassion to talk to ableists rather than write them off.

It takes bravery to work on my own internalized ableism.

It takes kindness to share my story so that others may feel less alone.

So why do you call it negativity when I mention disability?