Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who remembers that aplatonic was coined in 2012 on AVEN by an alloromantic asexual to capture their own experiences. That means the first known aplatonic was an ALLOROMANTIC APLATONIC. Yet I see so many posts claiming “aplatonic is exclusive to aromantics”, “aplatonic was coined by aromantics”, “aplatonic was coined with neurodivergent aromantics in mind”. And they get a shitton of notes every single time. I’m sick of the misinformation that’s been following our community for years now. I’m sick of non-apls talking over apls and redefining our identity and history.
Image description plus more info: AVEN user Mr. Shuttershy, whose profile indicates identifying as asexual homoromantic, says the following on April 6, 2012:
Alright, I’m going to have to explain this really carefully.
I am in love with my best friend, a story you’ve heard if you’ve seen any of my posts. I’ve come to realize that this is not the first time. However, I have also been really evaluating my other friendships lately. If you saw my post in the Tea and Sympathy on not loving my friends, good, but in short I’ve come to understand that most people in my life could be considered an acquantance at best. Now, I have a few friends who are nice, but I don’t feel a psrticular bond with them. If the aromantics are to be believed, platonic love is a type of /love/, and a love that is not to be under-estimated. It runs deeps and means a lot.
I have never had that.
Sure, the people I’ve ‘friended’ are nice, and I’d want nothing but for them to be happy, but I don’t really have a bond with them. The only people in my life that I’ve bonded with are those I feel romantic attraction to.
So, don’t get me wrong, I have friends and care about them; but love is a powerful word, and one I cannot apply to them.
I’ve theorized its because my parents were abusive, so I never learned how to love those I don’t feel romantically for; bur how would one even change that? I’m an adult now, and I don’t know if I can learn to have feeöings for friends.
That’s where the title comes in.
Aplatonic.
I was just wondering if anyone has shared my experience? Do you think aplatonic can exist? Its not that I don’t want to bond, but I just feel so indifferent. I’m not neccesarily looking for a label, but I’m more looking for others who share this experience. I feel empty to feel as I do.
Thoughts? Opinions? Cake?