(((I Will Outlive)))

it’s okay if you don’t love

yes, i mean at all.

people - including a lot of aros - talk about aros as if we’re okay because we still love. because we have platonic love and queerplatonic love and familial love and alterous love. but some of us don’t.

then they go to interests. you love your interests, right?? but some of us don’t. or at least not in the way they think.

and that’s okay.

we’re okay.

love ≠ value

Many aromantic people have differing views on the word “love” and that’s totally fine!

Don’t like using the word “love” at all to describe any sort of feelings/attraction you have because of its romantic connotations, even if in a platonic context? Extremely valid!

Only like using the word “love” when describing friends/family/pets/feelings surrounding objects/activities and not when it comes to relationships you may have/attraction you may experience? Also valid!

Use the word “love” to describe your relationships/partner(s)/attraction regardless of its romantic connotations, as you define that word for yourself? So valid!

Fall in between some of these scenarios? Fluctuate between them? Aren’t sure yet how you feel about the word “love?” You bet, that’s hecking valid!

Sex doesn't need romance. Sex without romance can still be healthy and good.

Aromantic people’s relationship to love can be complicated. They can feel however they want about the concept of love.

Just a reminder that demi attraction doesn’t always stem from friendship.

“Close emotional connections” can come in many different forms and vary from person to person. One way, of course, is friendship, but I feel like sometimes we focus a lot on that in demi content spheres, which may confuse or alienate (potential) demis who form these connections in other ways. 

For example, some people may just need one deep chat, or to share an important experience with the other person/people, and if that is you, and the demi label resonates with you, that is totally normal and valid 😊 🖤💚

Sometimes being aromantic means the freedom to not have relationships or life partners, sometimes it's the freedom to have relationships on your own terms in whatever way suits you. Sometimes it's complicated. There's a lot of ways to be aro.

Aromantic people can have a complicated relationship with romance. They can not know how they feel about romance or those feelings can change or be inconsistent.

You can have sex without romance and romance without sex.

if an aromantic person is more comfortable with using crush then the aro equivalents don’t yell at them. someone saying they are aromantic and have a crush isn’t directly contradictory as they could just like the term more. crush doesn’t always equal romantic attraction for people so be mindful of other aromantics experiences.

having consensual sex with someone without being romantically involved with them is not inherently wrong, immoral, predatory, abusive, or anything negative at all.

this does not change if the person having the  sex is aromantic.

sex shaming aromantic people for having sex with people they’re not romantically attracted to or involved with is not any more acceptable than sex shaming someone who is not aromantic for having sex without romantic attachment would be.

if you’re happy to shame aromantic people where you would never shame people who aren’t aromantic for doing the same thing, then you’re arophobic. and if you’re happy to shame anyone who has sex with people they’re not romantically involved with, then you need to drag your puritanical ass back to wherever you docked the mayflower and sail the hell away – either way, you’re the one in the wrong here.

having consensual sex with someone without being romantically involved with them is not inherently wrong, immoral, predatory, abusive, or anything negative at all.

this does not change if the person having the  sex is aromantic.

sex shaming aromantic people for having sex with people they’re not romantically attracted to or involved with is not any more acceptable than sex shaming someone who is not aromantic for having sex without romantic attachment would be.

if you’re happy to shame aromantic people where you would never shame people who aren’t aromantic for doing the same thing, then you’re arophobic. and if you’re happy to shame anyone who has sex with people they’re not romantically involved with, then you need to drag your puritanical ass back to wherever you docked the mayflower and sail the hell away – either way, you’re the one in the wrong here.