once again i randomly came across another one of Chii’s 4-koma comic strips about asexuality on Twitter and my reaction to seeing it has me feeling guilty and torn. ;(

for those who don’t speak Japanese, the comic introduces the term “ace” (slang for “asexual”) to Japanese readers and then explains how it’s connected to aces in playing cards. it also introduces readers to the concept / association that’s been floating around English-speaking ace communities of each suite being associated with specific orientations / identities. in the comic, it’s explained as:

before i start ranting going on and on about ‘nothing’, i want to point out that i’m happy that “ace” is being introduced here in Japanese. no conflicting feelings there. i do think it’s highly unlikely that it will ever catch on among Japanese aces for various reasons, a major one being that Aセクシャル / asexual in Japanese is often pronounced “ah-sexual” rather than “ey-sexual”, making any association with “ace” rather abstract and unintuitive. on top of that, Japanese aces already use Aセク / aseku (”ah-seku” / “ey-seku”) as slang for “asexual” anyway. but still, as i said, i’m glad it’s being introduced here if for no other reason than it maybe helping people to know wtf i’m talking about if i do happen to say 「エース」 (”ace”) in Japanese lol…

my guilt and conflicted feelings are in regards to the whole playing card association thing, which i’ve long since had equally conflicted feelings about when used in English-speaking spaces.

on one hand, i’m all for supporting those who embrace these associations and feel like they’re fun and / or useful for themselves. that is the case here for Aseku-kun, the character in orange in the comic, and i know that it is also the case for a lot of people. more power to those who like the whole card association thing. however, since i’ve always felt like the card association thing was / is problematic and meh to begin with, i can’t help but wince at the thought of these associations being imported into Japan…

…especially considering how Japan in general, including the Japanese セクマイ / LGBT community, has this tendency to uncritically and irreversibly import things from English-speaking countries (namely America) and then those imported things continue to exist and thrive in Japan long after English-speaking countries have evolved and moved passed such things for reasons.* if this card association thing were to gain ground in Japan, it’d forever be a thing even if English-speaking ace communities eventually abandoned it because of its limitations, problems, etc.

meh.

i know my feelings about the whole card association thing is an Unpopular Opinion, which is why i’ve mostly kept it to myself and am even playing it down now, but gah… i just… don’t want these associations to spread further, least of all to Japan, which makes me feel really selfish and ugh…

トランプのマークを活用するのが好きや役に立てる人は別にいいけどさぁ、いやぁ、そのマークを日本に紹介しないで！っていうすっごくイヤな気持ちになってしまって仕方がない…

*i’m slowly but surely coming to the conclusion that this is totally related to why Aセクシャル / asexual has come to mean aromantic asexual in Japanese, but i still lack any actual hard evidence for this conclusion, so… i’ll save that rant for another day.

asexuals are queer pass it on

wow yall are still arguing in these notes huh

anyway asexuals are still queer, keep passing

I Am What I Am (2022) ‘そばかす’ dir. Shinya Tamada

reblog if you are ASEXUAL, support ASEXUAL PEOPLE, or SECRETLY A DRAGON IN HUMAN FORM

For @tvarchive‘s TV Appreciation Week Day 1: the TV show I wish everyone would watch

Koisenu Futari | Two People Who Can’t Fall In Love

A really great J-Drama from 2022, this show is about two aroace characters who meet and for a “family” of their own making. It’s not only truly wonderful aro and ace representation, it’s also about found family, breaking amatonormative and heteronormative cultural norms, the importance of friendships, and finding happiness in your life as is. 8 episodes at 30 minutes apiece, Koisenu Futari is well worth a watch for everyone. (Subtitling and translation by KaizenSubs on Twitter.)

[Begin image description

8 gifs from the J-Drama Koisenu Futari, arranged in four rows of two.

Row 1 Gif 1: Kodama Sakuko in her family’s house. She is clearly emotional, and is speaking to her family who is out of shot. The caption reads “I recently came to realize I might be an aromantic asexual.”

Row 1 Gif 2: Outside in a park, Kodama Sakura is sitting on a bench speaking to her daughter, Sakuko. She is thoughtful and hesitant. The caption reads “But I think this too, that it’s okay if you choose a life without love.”

Row 2 Gif 1: Outside at a beach, Kodama Sakuko and her friend Kadowaki Chizuru are facing each other. As Sakuko watches, Chizuru slowly folds in on herself and crouches down, trying to control her emotions.

Row 2 Gif 2: On a grassy hill outside on a sunny day, Kodama Sakuko is talking to Matsuoka Kazu, her coworker and former partner. The caption reads “I don’t want you to force yourself or hold yourself back.”

Row 3 Gif 1: Takahashi Satoru’s house on the upper floor, his bedroom. He is seated at his desk with a pillowcase he is repairing in his lap, speaking thoughtfully to himself, but directed at Kodama Sakuko while she kneels in the doorway (out of shot). The caption reads “I had forgotten the feeling of being protected by someone.”

Row 3 Gif 2: Takahashi Satoru is lying on a mat in his bedroom, his arm in a sling. He speaks facing the ceiling, but he is talking to Matsuoka Kazu who is out of shot. The caption reads “Please don’t push your idea of normal on us.”

Row 4 Gif 1: Two different locations outside, cutting between Kodama Sakuko and Takahashi Satoru as they both look happily and hopefully up at the sky. The caption reads “The form our relationship has taken is satisfying.”

Row 4 Gif 2: Takahashi Satoru in his kitchen, looking at Kodama Sakuko standing in the doorway (back to the camera). He is holding up two crabs he is preparing for a meal, showing them to Sakuko. He bounces the larger one in his right hand slightly, causing the legs to bounce too, and begins to smile in response to Sakuko’s delight.

End image description]

“We can’t make this character (aro)ace. If we strip them of their sexual attraction and love interest, what else would be left that motivates them?”

Oh geez, you are right. What other motivation could this person possibly have other than eventually getting laid.

You fool. You absolute buffoon.

Sakuko and Takahashi informing Kazu that not understanding a person’s identity doesn’t mean that it’s ok to ask them rude and intrusive questions (a lesson for all cishets)

Suggestion:

We need to stop pretending that aromantic asexuals are well supported, represented, and listened to in the asexual community and the aromantic community. 

Why:

Aromantic asexuals receive antagonism in both communities, and the idea that aromantic asexuals are well supported, represented, and listened to in both communities sweeps this under the rug.

This misconception does more to silence aromantic asexual people than provide critical discussion on interactions between and within the aromantic and asexual communities, and it treats the aromantic asexual identity as a privilege.

It’s the responsibility of the whole community to invest in intersectionality, and the fact that aromantic asexuals exist in both communities does not make it easier for us to be heard. 

If anything, the resistance present in the aromantic and asexual community to associate with one another negatively impacts aromantic asexuals, further leading us to invisibility and isolation. 

In addition:

Aromantic asexuals are often expected to invest a lot of time and energy into the needs and wants of asexuals who aren’t aromantic and aromantics who aren’t asexual, with minimal mutual benefit.

With that said, aromantic asexuals are not at fault nor should they be criticized for prioritizing themselves, their needs, their voices, etc. in the face of minimal inter- and intra-community support. 

Honestly, when I’m 40 and still identify as Aro Ace, I’m e-mailing everyone who thought I wouldn’t say the same in the future a card with “Guess what bitch!”

And if I’m 40 and have changed my label, I’m gonna seek out the same people and kick their asses and tell them: Don’t you DARE use me as an example to other young aro aces coming out

Aroace people don’t have to divide their identity into two different ones if they don’t want to. Some do see it that way, but others don’t, and neither interpretation is wrong.

Koisenu Futari 1x01

(Subtitles by KaizenSubs)

Koisenu Futari - 1x01

(Subtitles by KaizenSubs)