(((I Will Outlive)))

i love you sex-favorable aces i love you aces in romantic relationships i love you sex-repulsed aces i love you hopeless romantic aces i love you aces in qprs i love you polyamorous aces i love you aromantic aces i love you questioning aces i love you non-partnering aces i love you aces i love you i love you i love you

it's very important that disabled people are allowed to make bad decisions actually. that we're allowed to do things which cause flare-ups. that we're allowed to take a risk and get it wrong. that not every single second of our day has to be about playing it safe and being well-behaved and staying within our limits

and on the days when we deal with the consequences of those mistakes and bad decisions we're still worthy of a) sympathy and b) pain relief. just as we are if our illness or disability is the result of our choices in the first place

also tbh sometimes it is MEDICALLY important that you take risks and fuck it up because playing it safe can cause "safety" to shrink. can convince your brain that everything outside of those bounds is forbidden. can increase your body's response to threat because everything unfamiliar becomes threat because you've taught it that it's not allowed to do those things because they're dangerous. and if they're dangerous then they're painful and the pain gets worse and the limits get smaller and your life SHRINKS

this is not true of all conditions (for some, pushing through can have a lasting negative impact, i'm not disputing that) but maybe trust people to know whether it's true for their own condition and allow them the autonomy to weigh up the risk and the benefit

just gonna drop this here also to point out that this is not a new concept

Text reads: “You don’t owe a disclosure of your identity to anyone. You are who you are with or without external validation. If it’s not safe for you to be out, you don’t have to be out. If you don’t want to be out, you don’t have to be out. Not being out doesn’t mean that you are not queer. You are yourself, with or without the validation of others, and that’s the best thing you can be.”

The LGBTQ community has some incredible people and a lot of love and support to offer. Here are some messages of love, resiliency, and some reminders that there are people in your corner rooting for you. Take a pause from your day and read through some notes.

No matter what your intrusive thoughts might tell you, there is nobody who can replace you. It’s impossible. You are completely unique, with your own thoughts, experiences, and personality. Nobody can replace you: it’s impossible. 🌱

Healing is complicated and we are all unique. It’s okay to try different things and heal in different ways.

Healing is not linear. 

www.fortraumasurvivors.com

Credit to @the_depression_chronicles11 on instagram (reposted with permission)!

Your relationships don’t have to fit neatly into either friendship, qpr or romantic relationship labels. Some relationships have elements of multiple types of relationships, some fall outside those labels entirely, some shift over time or fluxuate between different labels.

Not everyone is tired of hearing from you. Not everyone is waiting for you to fail. Not everyone is upset with you. Not everyone is using you.

I’m sorry if others in the past have made you believe otherwise.

People on Twitter sharing mental health advice that helped them

“But the people affected by these issues can’t just turn them off! Why should you get to decide you’re not going to look at that stuff while on the internet?”

Because I can’t take on the world. If I try to focus on every single issue out there, then I’m going to burn out and not have anything to offer.

The amount of asks I get telling me I have an obligation to use my platform to share info about so many issues is a lot.

I pick a couple things I’m passionate about to focus on because then I can give these things 100% of my focus. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about other things. It means I don’t have the mental capacity to take on everything.

For me, these things are what my blogs are about.

So, a reminder to all of you. It’s okay if you can’t take on the world. Please don’t burn yourself out by trying to take on everything. It’s okay to disconnect. Just because some can’t doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to take care of your mental health.

Healingfromptsd on instagram

It’s okay if you aren’t constantly focused on healing or recovery. It’s not realistic and can lead to burn out. It’s okay to take breaks or not be ready to even start yet. While you should be making sure to be cautious of how you treat other people, it isn’t a moral failing to not be ready to heal yet.

Whenever someone demands absolute perfection of you, they are setting you up for failure. They are disappointing themselves at the end because they are the ones with such high expectations. No one can ever be perfect. Not even those who seem to have their lives together and ask us to be perfect. How can someone demand perfection from another person? It is such an awful thing to do, asking others to do the impossible, and when they inevitably fail, then it's still their fault for not being able to be perfect. That is such a toxic mindset.

Whenever someone is demanding perfection from me, I often see that the person usually thinks they are perfect or at least think they are so great that others owe them perfect behavior. And none of those things are true, because asking for perfection is such a fucked up thing to do, as you set someone up for failing and then being humiliated for their failure. It's such a rude, careless, and weird thing to demand out of someone.

It makes me feel way less anxious when I think "oh, the person who is being so demanding of me is actually such an asshole, who are they to preach about perfection to me?". Whenever I am faced with situations like this, thinking about it this way has been helping me to not get anxious and to avoid complying to any demands because of an eagerness to please. I don't have to be perfect for anyone, especially someone who can only be proud, or consider me successful or even love me when I qualify to their perfectionist standards.

I am not here on this planet, alive, to live a life of constantly pleasing people, walking on eggshells, burning myself out trying to always be the best, only for someone to always believe I am never good enough to get their very conditional love. I deserve to be loved when I am imperfect, and so do you.

And the person who made you believe that you don't deserve love unless you are perfect is even more flawed than they say you are, because they are being so toxic by saying you will only get any affection when you do the impossible. There is no winning and it is such a messed up thing to do to someone you should love unconditionally. Don't accept conditional love. Remember, you owe these people nothing when they ask you to do the impossible or burn out trying.

You are worthy just as you are.💗

Instead of asking yourself if you “really need” an accommodation or disability aid, try to reframe this and ask yourself “will it help me or make things easier for me in any way?”

Think about whether it would improve your quality of life, or lessen your pain or just make things a little easier for you.

Just because you can get by without something doesn’t mean you should have to. You don’t need to be in the most dire need to make use of aids or accommodations. If they make things better for you in any way, you deserve that.

Disability benefits should be the equivalent of a full time job on living wage. Things don’t cost less because you’re disabled - in fact you often have additional costs of living. You shouldn’t be forced into poverty because you are disabled.

It’s OK to want to try sex because you’re curious or want to experiment. Sexual attraction or sexual desire are not the only reasons to want to try sex. The only thing that matters is that it’s something you want to try, and not something you feel obligated or pressured to try.