@apfelgranate / apfelgranate.tumblr.com
Since I can't edit polls to retroactively link parts together, here's a masterpost of them all, updated as it happens.
PART 9 active pol
Wizard RPG that takes the Vancian "spells are demons made of math that live in your brain" thing to its logical yet absurd conclusion and casts the player character's prepared spells as a Disco Elysium style internal peanut gallery that influences dialogue trees and makes fun of your decisions. I want to get relationship advice from magic missile.
YOU - "I don't want to die, no matter how hard I try, I'm so scared of death"
FALSE LIFE - Invest in lichdom IMMEDIATELY.
RAISE DEAD - Invest in lichdom IMMEDIATELY.
ANIMATE DEAD - Invest in lichdom IMMEDIATELY.
CALM EMOTIONS - Hey hey, just breathe okay? I know it's scary, I know... You will be okay. I believe in you, you're strong.
MAGIC JAR - Do I have the offer for you!
DANSE MACABRE - Invest in lichdom IMMEDIATELY
SUMMON UNDEAD - Invest in lichdom IMMEDIATELY.
CATAPULT - Gather 100 arrows and coat them within the poison of a Purple Wyrm, CREATION can help you. 3d8 bludgeoning, 100d8 Piercing, 1200d6 poison on a failed save (Talk to SILVERY BARBS). 368 + 4200 damage on average. We repeat until god is dead.
Got off the bus at tesco with the express intent of buying a specific thing but fuck me sideways if I can remember what the fuck it is
Disco elysium got adhd as a playable mechanic so accurately. I am trying to solve a mystery while having no idea what’s happening and being constantly distracted by a dozen different versions of myself at all times, half of whom are actively unhelpful. I want substances. I want radical leftist change. I want a boyfriend. I still don’t know what I want from tesco.
RASPBERRY JAM
🎲🎲
CHECK FAILED
DRAMA: Sire, you’re not going to like what we’re about to say.
YOU: What? Is something wrong?
REACTION SPEED [Formidable: Failure]: Wait-
DRAMA: But we must! Sire, we’ve forgotten the reason we entered the Tesco in the first place.
HALF LIGHT [Easy: Success]: But how!? We only wanted *one* thing. *One!*
INLAND EMPIRE [Trivial: Success]: Just one. One is a very, very small number. A small, sad man walks into a Tesco. He leaves with nothing. Is that what you are?
PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success]: The rhythmic recoiling of the buses suspension probably put you in a trance. Some kind of forgetful stupor.
VOLITION [Trivial: Success]: ADHD. The bus isn’t magical like that. And hey, at least we know it’s *one* thing. Let’s ask the others and see what they want. Maybe it’ll be what we can buy at a Tesco?
YOU: Alright, lay it on me, what should we buy at Tesco?
REACTION SPEED [Challenging: Failure] Wait!-
ELECTRO-CHEMISTRY: I want substances.
RHETORIC: I want radical leftist change.
SUGGESTION: I want a boyfriend.
YOU: I still don’t know what I want from Tesco.
REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success]: Wait, I remember! It’s…
🎧
THOUGHT GAINED:
CONFITURE DE FRAMBOISE
