Inspection of those Feratu

Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.

This but it's my partner taking an art history class in college and the professor looking at them like they grew a second head when they answered "What came out of Jesus' wound when he was stabbed on the cross" with "...Blood?"

Additions that prove my point by mystifying me because what on earth would come out of a nail wound besides blood. Are you telling me it was something besides blood. What was jesus full of that wasn't blood. You guys are scaring me

Apparently it was water?? I guess he was also stabbed on top of being crucified (which feels like overkill imo) and water came out, which was a huge deal in medieval symbolism and also to my medieval poetry professor, who was genuinely shocked and upset that I didn’t know. This man fully docked me points because I, a whole ass Jew, hadn’t somehow heard about the secret waterballoon Jesus lore that I guess everyone is supposed to like… intuit

On the plus side, it does lead to some absolutely wild medieval Jesus art of angels tapping him like a fucking keg

I was copyediting a college essay for a friend (not on a religious topic), and at one point he referred to "the church" and I highlighted it, with the note "what church?" He called me in tears of laughter, saying "all people raised by evangelicals should hire Jewish copyeditors to keep them grounded" 😂

see this is like the opposite of my experience as a jewish archaeology major because i’ve been at a church service once ever when i was four but i know a TON about christianity from an empirical perspective, sometimes more than christian laymen do. y’all’re experiencing a high i can only hopelessly chase by being full of shit and convincing people that just because I’m jewish that means it’s possible i can grow up in north virginia and still have never heard of jesus. it’s the funniest thing on earth i wish i knew less about christianity because new testament archaeology is insane sometimes. there are trained scientists running around working under the assumption that WAY more of the bible is historically accurate than we have any reason to believe, as if ancient judean accounts have much of a track record of accuracy especially compared to other contemporaries like ancient egypt or rome. people are digging up two separate bethlehems looking for the birthplace of jesus meanwhile all we have for the nativity is two conflicting accounts from substantially later and zero evidence for a roman tax census making people go back to their parents’ house, and if this whole thing weren’t tied to jesus and written in the bible no decent scientist would think we can base any assumptions off this, much less excavations. you wanna know a fun bible archaeology fact? the best evidence we have for crucifixion is an ankle bone with a nail in it and the angle of the nail suggests that jesus wasn’t crucified on an upright t shaped cross but on an x shaped cross. like a bdsm dungeon. so all the paintings are wrong and have fun with that one. man i wish i knew less about christianity. i fucking wish i thought this was evangelion.

saw a pigeon scratching itself with its foot like a doggie at the bus stop today. delightful

artists rendition

I'm so tired of the way suspicious meat is always human meat like for once I just want to be surprised. Let it be something else I'm so tired of it being human meat

Look I love horror I'm a big fan of it but guys. It's been overdone. At this point when I reach a point in a story where the meat starts being suspicious I roll my eyes because we all already know it's just some guy. Mystery meat could be so much more why won't we let it be more

Oh my steak is a guy? Yawn. Boring. That's every steak in horror.

Give me meat that just spawns randomly in your fridge. Meat that has no clear origin. Where is it from? We don't know. What kind of meat is it? No clue. It's mystery meat (non human (as far as we're aware of)). That's already a bit scarier if only thanks to not knowing how hygenic it is

Give me horror meat that isn't human bt has it's horror rooted in reality. Give me parasite pork that takes over your brain functions. Give me fucking prion disease at this point I'll take it. I'm so starved for mystery meat where the twist ISN'T that it's human c'mon people we can do better than this

Give me meat that IS genetically human but can't be matched to anyone's DNA!!! Where the fuck is it from?? We don't know!! Scary!!!

Oh people keep disappearing but hey at least the food is really good so that's something right? Womp womp you're eating a guy. Boring. Been there done that. Give me something new

You fool. You have no idea who you're talking to right now

y'know how wizards summon water from the elemental plane of water? that but meat. just sayin.

- meat that matches no known species

- meat of a long extinct animal

- meat, alot of it, that is human, but its genetically the same as your perfectly unhurt and alive friend

- meat of an almost extinct animal, the last of its kind

- meat that genetically more closely resembles viruses, bacteria, plants or fungi but still feels and bleeds like meat

-one piece of flesh that is genetically made of several different species

- a piece of flesh far larger than the animal it genetically is

-meat of your childhood pet

-meat of an unidentifiable cut

Putting this in my mouth thank you

Meat with strange metal objects/projectiles embedded in it?

Meat that never begins to spoil, no matter how long you leave it out?

Endless supply of chicken wings and no other parts of the chicken? Is the ruler of your post-apocalyptic enclave hiding something? Surely they must be hoarding food somewhere...

Meat that comes from killing an animal, but all the protagonist has ever known is lab-grown meat?

Meat that comes from a weird pit we found in a cave?

-steak that’s genetically identical to YOU and is rare enough to ooze a little

-way too many bones in this chicken wing

-you order it rare but you didn’t think it would come with a pulse

-there’s a human tooth in the middle of this. how did that get there? how did that end up on your plate?

-you’re eating something that’s not actually supposed to be meat, like an orange or a chocolate bar, but it is meat, it definitely is.

skull of a common dolphin, University Museum Utrecht.

I think we should write more straight relationships with 2010s TV queerbait tactics. Let that man and that woman's lives be horribly intertwined, let them take bullets for the other, let them be each other's meaning but NO KISSING. They are holding each other platonically. You're crazy for reading anything romantic into it at all tbh

Source details and larger version.

Here’s my gallery of unusual imagery from vintage college yearbooks.

the transition im crying

the undying love of mickey mouse

And when we finally kill the gods neither hell nor heaven will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us

burned my eggs and got mad sorry lol

@theshitpostcalligrapher

middle class america is forever in fear of the seal team 6 of rapist drug dealers murderers breaking into their house to get them specifically. what makes you so special?

addiction to true crime podcasts

Fascinating amount of work to get thwarted by a glass cutter and can of spray paint.

this mentality is for sure super good for women and definitely not deeply self-traumatizing with no material benefit at all

Stop me if you hate the concept: short, fat, hairy lady gets isakai'd into a high fantasy, and instead of "oh look at all these ethereal elves woe for I am but a flawed mortal" routine she lands in Dwarf territory and is immediately revered as the most enchanting and desirable maid in all the land. This immediately becomes a zesty romantic drama. Thoughts

I think we should write more straight relationships with 2010s TV queerbait tactics. Let that man and that woman's lives be horribly intertwined, let them take bullets for the other, let them be each other's meaning but NO KISSING. They are holding each other platonically. You're crazy for reading anything romantic into it at all tbh

Artsy dyke gf

(CisMen DNI I h8 seeing u in my notifs)