mouthporn.net
#shrek – @anothertiredmonster on Tumblr
Avatar

Beasts

@anothertiredmonster / anothertiredmonster.tumblr.com

29 · it/its · queer · creature
Avatar
Avatar
boethiah

dragons have lips

this isn’t a shitpost. in skyrim’s dragon language there are pairs of distinct words such as: ‘nid’ (no/none), ‘mid’ (loyal/loyalty), ‘mu’ (we) vs ‘nu’ (now), and ‘aan’ (an) vs ‘aam’ (to serve). this indicates that dragons are able to distinguish between the sounds ‘m’ and ‘n’. 

the only difference between ‘m’ and ‘n’ is that the latter is formed with the tongue, while the former is produced with the lips 

therefore, dragons have lips 

Avatar
endivinity

Given when Odahviing talks to you, you can see the movement of lip plates and scales around his mouth, so my theory is that dragons have a setup like this, taking inspiration from Smaug’s design (and colour coded at the risk of looking like a clown)

Also when Odahviing is talking to you, you can see him raising the front portion of his snout to bare his teeth in a(n albeit threatening) smile, so I feel there’s flexibility there too, like a bird’s upper beak given all of that information, it’s now obvious as to why Skyrim dragons have learned to never laugh or show happiness ever

y’all are pulling out all these facts and diagrams and stuff, but truly the only proof you need is right here

she’s wearing lipstick ladies and gentlemen

Avatar

Shrek makes infinitely more sense if you ascribe to the theory that everyone is a PC in an RPG, and Donkey’s player managed to avoid a boss battle by rolling a nat 20 to seduce the fucking dragon

“I want to be a half-ogre.”

“What? You can’t. They’ve seen your picture, and you’re a human.”

“The ogre half is at night.”

“Ok, now it’s time for the boss fight against Farquaad.”

“I have my dragon girlfriend eat Farquaad.”

“…you what?”

“I have my dragon girlfriend-”

“No, no, I heard you the first time. Look, I’m gonna roll a d20 and if it’s a 20 then the dragon will eat Farquaad.” -dice sounds-

*pinches the bridge of his nose* “Ok, so the boss is fucking dead now.”

Avatar

sometimes i think about the fact that Dreamworks was working on the Prince of Egypt and Shrek at the same time and would apparently send people to work on Shrek instead of the Prince of Egypt as a form of punishment 

the night i posted this i couldn’t find a source and i’ve been wondering ever since if maybe it was just some kind of fucked up fever dream or something. but no, it’s real:

Avatar

i can’t believe that shrek started out as a film making fun of disney’s capitalistic crap and then three sequels, two holiday specials, one spinoff, one musical and unlimited amount of merch later became the very thing that inspired it’s originally satirical existence… you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain

Avatar
Avatar
grungespuud

YO OKAY SO I WAS IN THE DIAMOND DISTRICT IN NYC JUST CASUALLY WINDOW SHOPPING AND SHIT, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THIS FUCKING THING CATCHES MY EYE. THIS. FUCKING. THING. ITS AS BIG AS MY FUCKING HAND AND ITS MADE OF REAL MUFUCKIN DIAMONDS AND GOLD. THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR PEOPLE. LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE. THIS IS WHAT THE WORLD HAS COME TO. FUCK.

what a shrektacular piece of jewelry 

all that glitters is gold

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net