I'd never go I just want to be invited

this is me btw. when you're being mean to me, this is who you're being mean to

Reblog if you're a partially muscled skeleton screaming for 30 seconds by the perimeter fence on November 14th

they’re friends

Ah yes, the three numbers: 0, 1, and a lot

Idk I think going to a concert will heal me.

This is one of the funniest things I've found on tumblr and I've seen some shit

can we please for the love of god waste our short and meaningless lives together

sorry that i ended two consecutive messages with "lmao." i don't know why i did that. it looks really dumb doesn't it. i'll edit one to get rid of it. you can end my stupid pathetic life if you want

THE ONION OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE

“i could fix him” “i could make him worse” i could be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake hand behind this pen relives a failure everyday

how come you can’t show a gun or pistol on Cartoon Network but you can show a “plasma pistol” or “ray gun”. I feel like a gun that shoots plasma or ray would be significantly more gun

lobbying from big plasma

the nefarious covenant is trying to sell plasma rifles to America’s Children. Well i think that’s fine

LEGALIZE NAHLE’HAX-PATTERN NEEDLE LAUNCHERS

I told my students they're allowed to be creative and don't have to be factual when writing about themselves in German because I keep getting questions like "what if I don't have roommates or what if I don't have hobbies" and I'm like guys just make something up! Have fun! I won't fact check you!

So now I am grading homework where a student is claiming to be from North Korea and his hobby is tax fraud

breakfast

that looks so good. can i ask you something?

thank you!

no.

yeah well. I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.

can I just log in