callmemrsbakugou

"Y/n, don't do this."

Bakugo mutters as you tell him goodbye. His jaw clenching tight when you shake your head and tell him, "I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore."

He grabs your elbow when you turn to go and forces you to face him. When you do you were surprised to find his face all blotchy, eyes stinging with tears you never expected he'd shed for you.

"J-just give me some fuckin' time." He ducks his head so he could meet your gaze, warm calloused hands holding your face gently. Bakugo is not the type to beg for anything but he blurts out, "Please?"

"Time?" Your face crumples. "How much longer do you need to realize what you really want? How much longer until you finally come to a decision if you really want me in your life?"

His answer has you holding back a sob. Bakugo couldn't meet your gaze as he murmurs, "I..don't know. But I know I don't want you to go away."

"That's just unfair." Your voice falls to a whisper, lips quivering as you confide. "Because I've wanted you, loved you, the moment I saw you."

Bakugo shudders, lips pressing into a thin line for a second as his hands reach to hold your upper arms, unintentionally grasping you a little too tight. "I know- I just-"

"Just what?!" You scream. The searing pain in your chest is unbearable at this point. "Stop giving me mixed signals, will you? I can't take it anymore!"

"You shower me with attention and give me all these gifts one day, then go on ignoring me the next!" You shove him, tears endlessly falling. "You come over whenever you want to fuck me and cuddle me until dawn, stare at me like I mean the world to you but then go on to tell me that you're not looking for anything serious before walking out my door?"

"I am not this type of person! I do not sleep around! I know my worth and how hard I worked on myself to be able to look at my own reflection and not break down!" Bakugo was in tears at this point too, not used to seeing you distraught. You were always kind smiles, tight hugs and loving gazes. He stepped towards you tentatively and held you, exhaling in relief when you didn't push him away again. You quiver in his arms, muttering, "But why do I let you tear me apart? Over and over and over again?" 

"Tell me." You met his gaze with your glassy ones. "Why should I fucking stay if you aren't even sure of me? When you can't even commit to me?"

To your utter surprise, Bakugo wipes your cheeks and leans in to kiss you desperately. Despite your protests, he kisses you hard and deep. Invading in every sense. His mouth, his tongue, his limbs making sure you could not escape. He holds the back of your head and loops his strong arm around your waist to keep you from pulling away. And you taste his tears, as well as the sadness and desperation in him while he pours all of him into the kiss.

You hated that you understood what he wanted to convey through his actions because you wanted to hear him talk. Hear him explain himself, hear him tell you he wants you. Hear Katsuki tell you he loves you too. 

Out of disappointment, you let your hands that were on his chest fall limp at your sides and just stared at him. You waited for him to stop and it took him a while. He still kept on coaxing you to kiss him back, to hold him as well. 

But you stood still. 

A pained sob escapes Bakugo's lips as he holds your face with both hands, leaning back in again to kiss you once, twice, before finally pulling away when he sees the way you just stood there looking at him. He swallows hard and just holds you for a second, eyes flickering down at your lips that used to always heal parts of him that no medication or treatment ever could, may it be through your kisses or words of comfort that silences the chaos in his damn mind.

"Y/n.. please." He whimpers, squeezing his eyes close as he leans his forehead against yours again. "I'm sorry. Right now, I-I can't do it." Bakugo shakes his head, sniffling. "Because committing to you means putting a fucking target on your back. Being with me meant endless nights of not being sure if I'll be able to come home to you at all at the end of every damn day." Bakugo rubs the tip of his nose against yours, tears falling as he lets his eyes fall close in defeat. "Being with me will be a world of pain."  

He pulls away just enough to meet your eyes, his brows furrow. "I've been damn selfish by keeping you at arm's length while taking all that you were willing to give me.. but trust me, I was doing it for you."