The tips of your fingers are cold and numb. Stark contrast of the scalding ache in your chest that radiates through your entire being, bringing tears in your e/c eyes. Your tearful gaze flickers from the fancy invitation in front of you to the silhouette of the man that's been the bane of your existence since you have realized you have fallen for him.

Enji throws you a glance over his shoulder as he redresses. For a second, you thought you saw remorse flash through those devastatingly breathtaking ocean eyes.

"I don't expect you to come," he says, averting his gaze as his thick fingers work the buttons of his dress shirt. The same one he wore this morning to ask the hand of the woman he intends to marry. "But I figure it'd be far worse not to at least let you know."

You were quick to mask your despair with a well practiced smirk. "How considerate of you." You chide, your tone betraying your facade. You fill the following silence with the clicking of the lighter as you set a cigarette ablaze.

Now fully dressed, Enji walks around your bed to sit across from you by the window ledge. He reaches and touches your face, memorizing your beautiful features illuminated by the Musutafu city night lights knowing this will be the last time he'll see you. Like this, at least. With skin in technicolor from the works of his hands and mouth, hair a mess from being under his grasp and from rounds of being tossed around in bed, soft kiss bruised lips that he almost always wounds by biting a little too hard.

He glares at the cigarette between them and asks, "I thought you quit smoking?" He takes the thing from between your lips and you frown as you watch him put it out with his bare hand. "I did." You shrug. "I guess I just can't live without at least one bad thing in my life."

The both of you take a deep breath at the exact same time.

"So I take it this is goodbye, then?" You ask as you look out the window, already knowing the answer.

"I am a lot of things, but I will not add disloyal to my long list of flaws." He mutters. You smile wryly, keeping your eyes on the cars passing below your apartment building. You feel pathetic as you realize you're even considering being a fucking mistress if that meant getting to keep him in your life.

"Was there ever a chance? For you and I?" You couldn't help but ask. Thinking about how in the span of time you spent together, didn't you ever stand a chance in his heart? Despite giving this fucked up arrangement with him your all?

The question had Enji clenching his jaw. He long accepted that his heart is close to nonexistent. All he ever is to him is ambition and greed. But as he stares at you, for a split second, he almost wants to reconsider everything.

You startle when he suddenly pulls you to him, sitting you in his lap and kissing you hard. Salty tears slip past your lips and his, Enji couldn't tell whose it was. Your hands card through his crimson hair in a desperate attempt to keep him in your grasp, reveling in how his big rough hands seem to hold you with the same desperation. Kneading and pulling you bruisingly tight against his body.

But then, he pulls away, leaning his forehead against yours. And you knew your answer when you looked at him. When you saw his eyes squeezed shut, lips pressed into a thin line, nostrils flared as he pushed air down his lungs. He does love you, whether he admits it or not, it's just.. not enough. And it never will be. You never will.

"You are.. despicable." You whisper. "But I already knew that and chose to love you anyway." A sigh of defeat escapes you as you now look at him with pity.

"I hope you know that this marriage, the children you will bear with this innocent woman.. it would not result in you attaining this 'dream' of yours. You're going to put everyone in misery. And I refuse to be one of those people. Not anymore."

"Goodbye, Enji." You murmur as you crawl back in bed with your back against him. The moment you hear the door click close softly as he left, you sob against your pillow that still smells of him.

—

You probably cursed him the day he broke your heart completely, Enji thinks to himself as he stares at the protesting crowd outside the central hospital. He was still foggy with anesthetics but the ache in his heart was sharp and it brought him to tears.

You were right. You've always been.

And now that he's faced with the repercussions of the poor decisions he has made in the past, he could not help but wonder what if he just gave up on his selfish endeavors and accepted that fact that he can and could have been happy with you.

Sparing Rei, Fuyumi, Touya, Natsuo and Shoto from all this hell he brought to them.

If only he was smart enough then to realize then that maybe, you were all he needed.

The tips of your fingers are cold and numb. Stark contrast of the scalding ache in your chest that radiates through your entire being, bringing tears in your e/c eyes. Your tearful gaze flickers from the fancy invitation in front of you to the silhouette of the man that's been the bane of your existence since you have realized you have fallen for him.

Enji throws you a glance over his shoulder as he redresses. For a second, you thought you saw remorse flash through them.

"I don't expect you to come," he says, averting his gaze as his thick fingers work the buttons of his dress shirt. The same one he wore this morning to ask the hand of the woman he intends to marry. "But I figure it'd be far worse not to at least let you know."

You were quick to mask your despair with a well practiced smirk. "How considerate of you." You chide, your tone betraying your facade. You fill the following silence with the clicking of the lighter as you set a cigarette ablaze.

Now fully dressed, Enji walks around your bed to sit across from you by the window ledge. He reaches and touches your face, memorizing your beautiful features illuminated by the Musutafu city night lights knowing this will be the last time he'll see you. Like this, at least. With skin in technicolor from the works of his hands and mouth, hair a mess from being under his grasp and from rounds of being tossed around in bed, soft kiss bruised lips that he almost always wounds biting a little too hard.

He glares at the cigarette between them and asks, "I thought you quit smoking?" He takes the thing from between your lips and you frown as you watch him put it out with his bare hand. "I did." You shrug. "I guess I just can't live without at least one bad thing in my life."

The both of you take a deep breath at the exact same time.

"So I take it this is goodbye, then?" You ask as you look out the window, already knowing the answer.

"I am a lot of things, but I will not add disloyal to my long list of flaws." He mutters. You smile wryly, keeping your eyes on the cars passing below your apartment building. You feel pathetic as you realize you're even considering being a fucking mistress if that meant getting to keep him in your life.

"Was there ever a chance? For you and I?" You couldn't help but ask. Thinking about how in the span of time you spent together, didn't you ever stand a chance in his heart? Despite giving this fucked up arrangement with him your all?

The question had Enji clenching his jaw. He long accepted that his heart is close to nonexistent. All he ever is to him is ambition and greed. But as he stares at you, for a split second, he almost wants to reconsider everything.

You startle when he suddenly pulls you to him, sitting you in his lap and kissing you hard. Salty tears slip past your lips and Enji couldn't tell whose it was. Your hands card through his crimson hair in a desperate attempt to keep him in your grasp, reveling in how his big rough hands seem to hold you with the same desperation. Kneading and pulling you bruisingly tight against his body.

But then, he pulls away, leaning his forehead against yours. And you knew your answer when you looked at him. When you saw his eyes squeezed shut, lips pressed into a thin line, nostrils flared as he pushed air down his lungs.

"You are.. despicable." You whisper. "But I already knew that and chose to love you anyway." A sigh of defeat escapes you as you now look at him with pity.

"I hope you know that this marriage, the children you will bear with this innocent woman.. it would not result in you attaining this 'dream' of yours. You're going to put everyone in misery. And I refuse to be one of those people. Not anymore."

"Goodbye, Enji." You murmur as you crawl back in bed with your back against him. The moment you hear the door click close softly as he left, you sob against your pillow that still smells of him.

—

You probably cursed him the day he broke your heart completely, Enji thinks to himself as he stares at the protesting crowd outside the central hospital. He was still foggy with anesthetics but the ache in his heart was sharp and it brought him to tears.

You were right. You've always been.

And now that he's faced with the repercussions of the poor decisions he has made in the past, he could not help but wonder what if he just gave up on his selfish endeavors and accepted that fact that can and could have been happy with you.

Sparing Rei, Fuyumi, Touya, Natsuo and Shoto from all this hell he brought to them.

If only he was smart enough then to realize then that maybe, you were all he needed.

Burn

Pairing: Rei x Enji Todoroki

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Triggers

A/N: So I might have broken my own heart thinking about Rei Todoroki. It started when I saw this when I had a craving for some Hamilton and I read a comment about the lyrics from Burn fitting so well to Rei if she should confront Enji.

And I'm just.. ๏︿๏ ๏╭╮๏ ╥﹏╥ What if Rei was actually really truly helplessly in love with Enji like Eliza was with Alexander?

When the time comes

Explain to the children

The pain and embarrassment

You put their mother through

When will you learn?

That they are your legacy?

We are your legacy!

What if it was one-sided from the beginning since all Enji wanted from Rei was her quirk?

Imagine her being strucked the moment she met him. It's an arranged marriage, her parents told her. Yet when she first laid eyes on him her heart actually skipped a beat that she though she lucked out. It was love at first sight for Rei. She's unable to tear her gaze off of Enji who is towering over her, serene handsome face and curious bright blue eyes studying her.

Enji introduces himself offering a massive hand out to her and she shyly places hers, muttering her own name. Imagine Rei's surprise when instead of shaking her hand, Enji leans in to plant a soft kiss on it.

Imagine the days prior the wedding, Enji would come over to Rei's parents' house showering her with gifts and staying for tea and supper. He wasn't much of a talker she'll notice. Not one for smiling either. But he is always so polite, nodding along to every small talk she tries. She notices too how dedicated Enji was to being a hero. A smile would stretch her lips when she sees his passion ooze out of him whenever her dad would ask Enji about his work.

Besides the preparation for the wedding, Enji would take her to walks when he's not working. She fell even more seeing how he made time for her despite the long hours of patrolling and fighting villains. As the day of the wedding gets nearer, she finds Enji being more comfortable with her. Asking questions about their future, her preferences and such.

Rei swears her heart leaps to her throat every time Enji would ask her about the things she wanted for their home, a blush would paint her cheeks when she notices that he seems to be looking forward to a life with her as well. And imagine how elated she feels whenever Enji would fondly talk about their future kids. Him promising to devote himself to them, raise them to become heroes like himself, to guide them the way he knows they would become the best version of themselves..

Imagine Rei trying so hard to become the best wife Enji deserves.. Only to find the dark truth behind the dreamy man she painted him to be in her head.

The first outburst she'd seen him in had her jumping out of her skin. Flames engorge his gym in their home after the announcement of the newest top heroes. Imagine her confusion when she knows her husband was second amongst the thousands of outstanding heroes.

Imagine the days drag on and realizing, he doesn't want her as much as she wants him. The way that she wants him..

She hoped things would change when she got pregnant. The Enji she met before getting married was back. Always fussing over her, giving everything she needs and more, his massive hand cradling her belly every chance he gets and.. For the first time, he actually smiles at her with genuine joy lighting those ocean eyes.

Imagine her hope sparkling back in that came with the bliss of them welcoming their first born.

And imagine horror that creeps up on her the moment her husband started talks of putting their child in training at age 5. Her precious, beautiful child in such rigorous training when most kids that age enjoy playing and toys.

Imagine the anger she feels when her Enji would force their children to train until they're vomiting from exhaustion and hurting themselves from using their quirk; the fear she feels run through her veins when her Enji raised a hand to her when she tries to interfere..

The hurt she feels goes beyond physical with every hit she takes from him. The exhaustion she feels draining every light left in her as she tries to defend her beloved husband from his wrong doings to her children, their children.

Imagine staying all those years, hoping that one day her husband would change. Hoping that Enji would finally realize her worth, that she's more than just someone to give him children with a powerful quirk.

Imagine losing all hope for the very person you wished so badly to love you back and spend the rest of your days with.

Imagine being pushed to the brink of your sanity because you chose to love someone who cares for nothing else but his legacy, because despite the disgusting, ugly truth you still cant find it within you to unlove him.

That despite the scars in your skin and in your soul,

the fear and anger you feel for him,

your stupid heart still beats for him.

Even if the feeling fucking burns.