i need to chime in here and say 10000% its kpop girl groups

Jiang Cheng (G)-Idle stan

Jiang Cheng has learned the dance for every Mamamoo, (G)-Idle, ITZY, & Twice song and says he's practicing sword forms if anyone asks. He's got big feelings about 2NE1 and follows CL religiously.

He fucking slays RPDs, in disguise.

You know, thinking about it, I imagine the Leverage crew are pretty philanthropic. Parker might have had to be introduced to the concept (”You just give them money and they go away with it? How does that work?”) but probably once she got her head around it she’d be into it. 

What gets me is how god damned frustrating it would be to work somewhere that one of the Leverage crew supports. Nate would be okay, he’d just make small monthly gifts to ten million different organizations so that nobody thinks he’s worth very much (he doesn’t own his home and he gives such small amounts monthly that Development writes him off as an earnest but low-capacity donor who should get a thank-you card around the holidays). It’s probably a bigger inconvenience to him because he’s on every nonprofit mailing list known to man. He has so many address labels, guys. (I don’t want to be Nate but I am Nate. I have so many address labels.)

Sophie I imagine has an extravagant alias for every charity she supports; she gives outrageous amounts and in return demands only attention and adulation, tickets to all the galas, and to be in at least one photo in every annual report. We have a donor like this – she’s genuinely invested in our work, gives generously of her time and money, is never rude or demanding, but if she’s in the room all eyes must be on her at all times. I actually really like her but constant exposure could get…tiring. 

Eliot just sends enormous, anonymous checks once a year through a shell company or DAF, which while not unusual would be irritating in that they can’t ever reach out to thank him and/or steward him into a larger gift appealing to his interests. They can’t even send him dumb swag! He deserves a charity-branded bottle opener and keychain flashlight! (He has stolen all of Nate’s, but they don’t know that.) Still, they’ve probably got a fun nickname for him; I have a few people in my research files who are simply named after characters from Greek mythology because that’s all the data I have or am allowed to store. 

For a long time Hardison just dumped money into the bank accounts of his charities of choice, seamlessly, invisibly – it just APPEARED in the account, and he was cool with that until he checked back after a few years and found none of his money was being used because they couldn’t figure out where it was coming from and were worried it was a clerical error despite the bank assuring them otherwise. Now he still dumps money into the accounts but he entertains himself building an elaborate digital paper trail so that the accounting all works. Have you ever watched a Gift Processing office try to balance a nonprofit’s books? Sometimes they cry! Don’t be mean to them, Hardison. 

Parker, bless her heart, just leaves bags of money on the doorsteps of random employees with notes directing how, in general terms, it should be spent. If she’s particularly pleased with the climbability of their home, she leaves a donut for them, too. Generally if she mentions she’s done this to the crew, Eliot calls up the charity to assure them that the large bag of cash was a legitimate donation and is not some kind of money-laundering scam. (That was ONE TIME Eliot, and the IRS didn’t even NOTICE.) This happened to me once. A tiny old lady in a Cubs jacket showed up to our office with a backpack full of money and it was a very intense morning. 

Anyway, what I’m saying is that every year, across the span of roughly two weeks, Hardison’s Nana’s church gets their regular $25 check from that nice Mr. Ford, a visit from the very devout but slightly weird Madam Sofia who wants a private choir recital, an enormous check from a bank in the Bahamas with no name attached, a large direct deposit from a heretofore-undiscovered bond the church invested in a decade ago, and a large bag of cash with a dozen donuts on it and a note reading THANK YOU FOR THE NEW ROOF IT WAS VERY SLIPPERY AND FUN. PLEASE BUY STUFFED ANIMALS FOR CHILDREN WHO NEED STUFFED ANIMALS. 

i like to think that one day lwj was worried baby sizhui was missing being around wwx and wq, because lwj isn’t anything like them, so he specifically went and found the most talkative disrespectful judgemental baby lan and was like please be friends with my son

I feel like due to mom-trauma in a modern au that Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji would be in contact with each other weekly if not daily, no matter what. If it goes longer than a week without hearing from each other they both get a little antsy and Lan Wangji will straight up panic if it goes longer than two weeks and Xichen won’t answer his calls (tragedy of a broken phone and no memorized phone numbers and Wangji’s refusal to get social media)

They’re both appalled to find out that WWX and JC will go months without speaking and then just show up at each other’s house with nothing more than a “you up?” Text. Xichen is less so, because he gets that not everyone is as close as he and Wangji. Wangji however is extra confused because the only other brother relationship he’s seen is Huaisang ans Mingjue and they call each other daily even when they’re both hella busy atleast for a few minutes.

it’s not that JC and WWX aren’t as close to each other it’s that JC doesn’t understand the concept of relationship decay and WWX forgets ppl exist if he’s not looking at them and as such is immune to relationship decay and no one else understands it LWJ expresses concern for WWX and JC’s relationship since he knows how important JC is for his husband WWX is immediately confused and is like ‘what are you talking about? we’re still close??’ and calls him up immediately jc: ‘the fuck do you want I’m busy?’WWX: ‘I wanted to invite you to dinner! I miss my baby brother ;v; and his bad story telling’ jc: ‘I literally cannot stand you. of course I’m free to come over. what time I’ll bring drinks?’ LWJ is more confused and thinks maybe he just shouldn’t say anything anymore (via featherfur)

#okay but what i want is a lan wangji who very pissily keeps a calendar of all of jiang cheng's most important dates#his birthday his graduation his idk wedding anniversary whatever#because he has to remind wei wuxian to send him a text to say hbd etc.#otherwise wwx will forget! and sometimes something will make him realize afterwards that he forgot and he will be sad!#lwj doesn't want wei ying to be sad! so unfortunately lwj is forced to keep track of his nemesis's life events#and like. pay attention to jc's interests so that when wwx says OH NO I DIDN'T GET HIM A GIFT!!!#10 minutes before the birthday dinner he forgot about#(sidenote wwx def forgots about jc's birthday dinner every year even though it's always less than a week after his own bdy dinner)#lwj can reach into his idk briefcase or whatever like 'here are two tickets to a band both of you loved as teenagers'#and wwx is like 'omg so weird i thought i heard about these selling out immediately!'#and lwj is just shifty-eyed like 'hm. yes. that is weird.'#they did sell out immediately though. lwj got the tickets because he waited with his mouse hovering over the button#five months in advance#because he knew it would be the perfect present for wwx to give to his horrid undeserving little brother#so cute. love that for him. enjoy having to perform all this emotional labor for that one guy you don't like. mwah (via @howdydowdy)

after watching an episode of murder, she wrote where jessica fletcher identified a murderer by the 'very distinctive' sound of his keychain jangling, i now have the unshakeable headcanon that eliot spencer is one of her many nephews

Okay here’s my headcanon as I rewatch CQL: Jiang Yanli figured out the golden core transfer. 

And the main reason I like to believe she worked it out is because for me it adds to the sense of tragedy, that the one person who realises is also the one person whose realisation wouldn’t change anything.

Not even just in a ‘fix-it’ sense, but in that, given (my reading of) her character, I genuinely think the story would play out exactly the same whether she knows or not. And so it adds to this landscape of well-intentioned and capable and flawed people trying their best, and yet ending in disaster as those flaws and good intentions collide in the worst possible way, so you end up with something that feels like both inevitable and preventable tragedy.

But I also just feel like it makes sense for her to figure it out. Aside from Jiang Cheng, she’s the person with the most information about what happened. Like, does anyone else even know about Jiang Cheng losing his core to Wen Zhuliu? Wen Chao may have boasted about it, and maybe some of the Wen soldiers at Lotus Pier would know, but beyond that it would just be another rumour, and then Jiang Cheng turns up golden core intact and ready to help fight. And even if some people do believe it, how many would ever consider the possibility of someone else giving up their own golden core? How many would make the link from the thought of an unprecedented self-sacrifice to the arrogant and mercurial Wei Wuxian? 

Lan Wangji, maybe, could put it together if he had all the pieces. But, crucially, at least in CQL canon I don’t think he ever actually knows about Jiang Cheng losing his core. Who’s going to tell him? Jiang Cheng? It would feel too much like a weakness, and even believing he was healed by Baoshan Sanren is too mixed up with Wei Wuxian and their relationship. 

But Jiang Yanli knows about Jiang Cheng’s core. And Jiang Yanli was there all those days (weeks?) in Yiling while Wei Wuxian ran himself ragged trying to find a solution. And then Wei Wuxian cries on her shoulder and next thing she knows she’s waking up in a carriage bound for Lanling and accompanied by Song Lan, whose injury was mysteriously ‘healed by Baoshan Sanren’, and then her previously-coreless brother turns up healthy and powerful and her recklessly self-sacrificing brother is missing. And if that’s not enough to work it out, three months later said recklessly self-sacrificing brother shows up without an explanation or a sword or more than a ghost of his brilliant smile, wielding a flute and a strange power and a cold cruelty, flinching away from contact or comfort.

Jiang Yanli can do basic maths.

And yes, Jiang Cheng has all the same pieces of information but the crucial difference, I think, is that Jiang Yanli is not directly involved; she’s neither donor nor recipient. Wei Wuxian’s lies were so carefully tailored to Jiang Cheng specifically: just the right amount of exactly what he needed and wanted to hear (because when you’re desperate, you don’t look quite as closely for the catch) and a quest to prove himself that involved just enough complexity and subterfuge to convince him that it wasn’t too good to be true. Jiang Yanli has the clarity Jiang Cheng doesn’t, because it’s not her golden core. She’s not the target audience, and there’s a reason Wei Wuxian opts to send her away: the lies that work on Jiang Cheng aren’t going to work on his shijie and he knows it.

Add to that the fact that I think a large part of the reason Jiang Cheng doesn’t figure it out is… the form of denial that serves as a kind of self-preservation. It’s a very human thing to do: we deceive ourselves or avoid looking too closely at things we don’t want to see or know or realise, because doing so would hurt us. So on some subconscious level I think he doesn’t let himself question the golden core situation too closely, or put some of those pieces together. Whereas for Jiang Yanli, again she has that one vital step of removal, and so is able to put some of those pieces together without flinching away or risking it shattering her entire sense of herself.

And at the end of the day, Jiang Yanli knows her brothers. She has watched them grow up, knows their tendencies and their tells. She knows what they would do for one another, and what they would do to one another. 

She has the pieces of the puzzle, and the intimate knowledge of those who made it, and the necessary perspective to figure it all out. 

So then we come back to the part that really sells me on this, which is that it doesn’t change anything. 

Oh, we see her concern for Wei Wuxian, and we see her ever so gently pointing out that he’s changed, but just as gently demonstrating her continued and unconditional love and support. We see her circumspectly asking Lan Wangji, as she tries to figure out how she can help her brother. We see her deflecting Jiang Cheng’s irritation with him when he wanders off, first in Qinghe and then in Yunmeng. We see her again and again doing everything she can to just be there for him–for both of them.

And all of these can be read as Jiang Yanli knowing… but they’re no different, I think, than the things she would do if she knew Wei Wuxian was hurt or struggling in any way. 

Also, she doesn’t have a way to fix the problem: Wen Qing is missing, for one, and Jiang Yanli is in the relatively unique position of loving both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, equally–and pretty much any potential ‘solution’ is going to cause some pain or risk to at least one of them, so she’s not going to, say, look for a way to reverse it.

So, in absence of a way to fix it without somehow making it worse for one or both of them, I think her calculus would be similar to Wei Wuxian’s: Jiang Cheng cannot know. (If she had found out before it happened maybe it would be different, but this isn’t that kind of what-if). 

In the aftermath, unable to change the outcome… once again, she knows her brothers. She knows it would break Jiang Cheng. She knows the relationship between her brothers is already messy, especially after Sunshot (and understands better than most the reason for and shape of that mess), and that such a revelation could risk irreparably damaging it. She knows, too, that to reveal something like this would potentially put Wei Wuxian at risk, because there are those who would see it as a weakness and a target.

(If she survived Wei Wuxian’s death… perhaps, eventually, she would tell Jiang Cheng, and help him through the initial hurt of it, and guide him to see it as a lasting sign of Wei Wuxian’s love, bittersweet and complicated as it may be. But this is not that kind of what-if). 

In Leverage 2.0, I hope we’ll find out that Eliot’s computer skills have developed in the weirdest way possible after 8 years with Hardison.

Like, on the one hand, if the display settings in his email program get changed slightly, he dumps his computer in Hardison’s lap stating his email is “broken” and demands Hardison fix it, without attempting even the most basic troubleshooting. Software updates that change the interface layout result in months of grumbling and asking Hardison where they hid the ___ option this time. On the other hand, when one of Hardison’s magical hacker flash drives encounters a minor hurdle Hardison didn’t expect, Eliot just opens a command line interface and starts tapping away hunt-and-peck style. Whoever they’re working with nervously asks if he’s sure he knows what he’s doing and maybe they should wait for Hardison, and Eliot just says “What? I’ve been dating a hacker for 8 years! This is what Hardison does!” And sure enough, it is. He’s not fast, but he actually does know his way around a command line and knows enough of Hardison’s basic hacking techniques to fix minor hiccups on the fly.

(For some reason, I picture Eliot finding the command line satisfying. I think a lot of the slick commercial GUIs that are designed to be “intuitive” would drive him crazy because they’re not intuitive to him (or for Parker). Hardison’s GUIs, on the other hand, are very deliberately designed around how Eliot and Parker expect them to work with zero consideration for them making sense to outsiders.)

Well, I’m in love with this headcanon as of ten seconds ago. It’s perfect. We know Eliot:

- picks up information specific to the fields his partners work in

- retains and mentally catalogs information that might apply to his “field”

- despite all of his grousing gets some very pure joy out of Hardison’s tech tricks

I’m not a programmer and barely use command line interfaces, but given that it’s interoperable on multiple OSs, it’s relatively “clean”, it doesn’t make you navigate through different menus and dropdowns or use a small cursor…

And it relies on memorization and clear instructions - things we know Eliot excels at.

Headcanon accepted, now someone who does speak CLI, I’m in need of fic!

Here’s the great thing about CLI, though … it’s all done in scripts. (For anyone who missed Brianna’s comment about “script kitties” in the trailer, that’s what she’s talking about – once Hardison’s written the scripts, anyone can implement them.) And scripts can (a) be named anything you like, and (b) be started with any command you pick. There are some recommendations about length (shorter is less likely to have a typo) and uniqueness (if all your commands start with a different letter, it makes autocomplete more useful), but they’re really just recommendations. You wanna set it up so a script is invoked by typing “TrumpSucksDick”? or “IIll1llI” (that’s two uppercase i’s, two lowercase L’s, a 1, two lowercase L’s, and an uppercase i)? Go for it. Absolutely nothing is stopping you except possibly your company’s HR policies (which obviously don’t apply in this context). So anyone who wishes to write this fic: you can make those commands be anything you’d like. I mean, let’s be real, even when these scripts were just for Hardison, they were invoked by things like Breaking_into_the_NSA_Like_A_Boss and Ping_Tracing_The_Likes_of_Which_Have_Never_Been_Seen_By_Mortals Hardison has set it up so that getting into the computer is accomplished with kick_the_door_down.sh, and finding the files you want is called search_the_room.sh, and downloading all the files is called bag_and_tag.sh and replacing every file with a link to Never Gonna Give You Up is done by typing gloat.sh? Plausible. Hardison has set it up so that Eliot can’t do the computer stuff without typing Hardison_is_a_stupendous_badass into the command line? Plausible. Eliot retaliates by changing Hardison’s script invocation to Plan_M? Plausible. Parker has aliased break_that_mofos_encryption.sh to be 111-190-16-22-129 because “It’s super-easy to remember! It’s the combination to my favorite safe!” – plausible. (Bonus points if Eliot goes along with it because “It’s fine; it’s easy enough to remember.”) Do whatever your little fannish heart desires. There are absolutely no limits.

It’s my partner and I’s firm headcanon that Hardison has always designed his code and gizmos around other people.

A usb with a display that says ‘hacking’ when it’s plugged in? Makes no sense, except if it’s being used by someone who doesn’t know what it does or if it’s doing what it’s supposed to do. This particular gizmo is used, I believe, in season 1, way before anyone had any time to learn from each other.

Hardison’s tech, once you pay attention to it, often has unnecessary (display) functionality to show the user (and the viewer) what it does, with the exception of tech made for Hardison himself (like the mark powerpoints which Nate can’t figure out how to use).

Idk, yeah, Hardison is definitely the kind of person to put extra time in making his code/tech/gizmos easily usable by his crew, even to the point of it being a bit silly.

It’s a very distinctive GUI

idr where i saw it but the hc where nhs is weak by nie sect standards but ridiculously strong compared to everyone else is one of my favs ^_^

You know, thinking about it, I imagine the Leverage crew are pretty philanthropic. Parker might have had to be introduced to the concept (”You just give them money and they go away with it? How does that work?”) but probably once she got her head around it she’d be into it. 

What gets me is how god damned frustrating it would be to work somewhere that one of the Leverage crew supports. Nate would be okay, he’d just make small monthly gifts to ten million different organizations so that nobody thinks he’s worth very much (he doesn’t own his home and he gives such small amounts monthly that Development writes him off as an earnest but low-capacity donor who should get a thank-you card around the holidays). It’s probably a bigger inconvenience to him because he’s on every nonprofit mailing list known to man. He has so many address labels, guys. (I don’t want to be Nate but I am Nate. I have so many address labels.)

Sophie I imagine has an extravagant alias for every charity she supports; she gives outrageous amounts and in return demands only attention and adulation, tickets to all the galas, and to be in at least one photo in every annual report. We have a donor like this – she’s genuinely invested in our work, gives generously of her time and money, is never rude or demanding, but if she’s in the room all eyes must be on her at all times. I actually really like her but constant exposure could get…tiring. 

Eliot just sends enormous, anonymous checks once a year through a shell company or DAF, which while not unusual would be irritating in that they can’t ever reach out to thank him and/or steward him into a larger gift appealing to his interests. They can’t even send him dumb swag! He deserves a charity-branded bottle opener and keychain flashlight! (He has stolen all of Nate’s, but they don’t know that.) Still, they’ve probably got a fun nickname for him; I have a few people in my research files who are simply named after characters from Greek mythology because that’s all the data I have or am allowed to store. 

For a long time Hardison just dumped money into the bank accounts of his charities of choice, seamlessly, invisibly – it just APPEARED in the account, and he was cool with that until he checked back after a few years and found none of his money was being used because they couldn’t figure out where it was coming from and were worried it was a clerical error despite the bank assuring them otherwise. Now he still dumps money into the accounts but he entertains himself building an elaborate digital paper trail so that the accounting all works. Have you ever watched a Gift Processing office try to balance a nonprofit’s books? Sometimes they cry! Don’t be mean to them, Hardison. 

Parker, bless her heart, just leaves bags of money on the doorsteps of random employees with notes directing how, in general terms, it should be spent. If she’s particularly pleased with the climbability of their home, she leaves a donut for them, too. Generally if she mentions she’s done this to the crew, Eliot calls up the charity to assure them that the large bag of cash was a legitimate donation and is not some kind of money-laundering scam. (That was ONE TIME Eliot, and the IRS didn’t even NOTICE.) This happened to me once. A tiny old lady in a Cubs jacket showed up to our office with a backpack full of money and it was a very intense morning. 

Anyway, what I’m saying is that every year, across the span of roughly two weeks, Hardison’s Nana’s church gets their regular $25 check from that nice Mr. Ford, a visit from the very devout but slightly weird Madam Sofia who wants a private choir recital, an enormous check from a bank in the Bahamas with no name attached, a large direct deposit from a heretofore-undiscovered bond the church invested in a decade ago, and a large bag of cash with a dozen donuts on it and a note reading THANK YOU FOR THE NEW ROOF IT WAS VERY SLIPPERY AND FUN. PLEASE BUY STUFFED ANIMALS FOR CHILDREN WHO NEED STUFFED ANIMALS. 

Actually in my Heart what happened is baby mianmian saved baby jin zixuan from bullies once by kicking their asses and their friendship started when jzx kept trailing after her in starry eyed hero worship

okay so the best headcanon is that kids love jiang cheng. 

like he will be walking in a market in yunmeng and the child of one of the stall owners will get his attention to show him a frog she caught. he’ll crouch down and listen to her, as seriously as he would in meetings with other sect leaders.

or some kids might pull him into a game. he sometimes plays the role of himself, if there are disputes to be settled. once more he will listen seriously and then give his opinion. other times he might demonstrate the proper way to hold a wooden sword.

if a child appears anywhere in or around yunmeng who seems to be without a home or family, jiang cheng is alerted. he then works his hardest to find each and every one of these kids a good home. and there is always food and a safe place to sleep on lotus pier.

bc of my crack fic people have been sending me every manner of Grinch x Tony the Tiger headcanon……who wants to hear the one that finally snapped me like a tennis player’s tendon

Please

ok so if the grinch and tony had a kid, it would probably be

so that child would be Gritty

I’ve never derived an iota of joy from this website and I truly don’t know why i’m still here

I am ashamed to say that I put a lot of effort into this….

holy. fucking. STARS.

Whoops my hand slipped….

how have you done this…..why have you done it…..

and now this exists!

(by Duck and @attemptedcryptid​)

Explanation 1 of 2 in my mind as to why Castiel wasn’t in that hallucinatory nightmare punchline of a 15 year long hate crime finale

Bonus:

The bravest man in The Untamed is actually this guy right here casually rocking up to Jiang Cheng and poking him in the stab wound.

@winepresswrath so it’s not wwx they’re literally all like that. jc is the odd one in the clan

It kind of makes sense! Their motto is attempt the impossible. He is impossible; they attempt.

#jc is a cat surrounded by dogs who adore him #the cat hisses at the dogs whenever they approach but absolutely nothing will dampen their spirits. they’re so excited to be with the cat!! #they are best friends! let’s play!! #the dog/cat dynamics on this show are so backwards. wwx is clearly a dog and jc is clearly a cat and yet wwx hates dogs apparently @howdydowdy 

“Their motto is attempt the impossible. He is impossible; they attempt.” 😂

The best kept secret of the Jiang Sect is their monthly Hug Your Sect Leader -day. It was initiated a couple of months after the unfortunate events at the Nightless City by a few surviving older disciples, as Jiang Cheng’s mood deteriorated so badly they became worried about imminent qi-deviation. It was not very popular at first (they drew lots to decide who would have to attempt the impossible), but as nobody’s legs were actually broken (and as word got out that despite all the fierce scowling, their Sandu Shengshou actually gave Very Good hugs), the popularity grew. Now there’s a line each time the day rolls around. Jiang Cheng still frowns fiercely, but secretly loves the whole thing. And has not qi-deviated. Yet. 💜

you know what’s a criminally under-used trope? 

HOT JIN JOCKS. 

in the slaughtertortoise cave mianmian and zixuan are the only people who don’t immediately grab swords or improvised weapons, and actually seem to choose to fight unarmed for a while! and they fight together! as a team! so I am forced to conclude that they spar together all the time, and when you have golden cores that heal up your injuries super fast, you don’t have to worry about pulling your punches with the sect heir… 

so this is basically POV yanli, probably during the war, who discovers this day that a. her ex-fiancé is inconveniently hot! what the fuck! and b. she is definitely bi

Jiang Cheng: yes but jiejie, are they treating you alright? Yanli, smirking into her tea: oh they’re treating me alright Jiang Cheng: what Yanli, serenely: they’re treating me just fine a-cheng :) :) :)

Why does this fandom have so many generic coffee shop /florist etc modern AUs, when the obvious modern WWX job is running the spiciest little hole in the wall eatery in town?

Too many ppl believe the slander that WWX can't cook?

Now that is slander indeed. WWX can cook just fine - it’s just that almost everybody we ever see eating his food is raised elsewhere and can’t handle the heat.

His little cafe is the place YouTubers go to do those Death Spice challenges like if they can finish the bowl in 10 minutes they get a free meal

So far no one has done it

Except WWX slurping the soup like it’s nothing