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#panda bob – @animalplace on Tumblr
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Animal Place

@animalplace / animalplace.tumblr.com

Awesome farmed animal sanctuary home to 300 formerly neglected and abused cows, pigs, chickens, sheep, goats, rabbits and turkeys in Grass Valley, CA. Perfect place to visit, volunteer, and intern!
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Dear World, It's me, Panda Bob. You know you've made it in the world, when you have an entourage. I need you to know something, though. MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER GETS SPECIAL FOOD. Why don't I? You can see Mortimer in the back right, snubbing all of us. Because he has had special food and I have not, so he doesn't even care about an entourage. What the heck, Mortimer? Anyways, I am told Mort gets special meals because he is thin and needs it - AM I NOT THE PERFECT WEIGHT FOR MORE FOOD? Please convey to my caregivers that I love the special attention and love but it is nothing - I mean, nothing - compared to grass hay pellets. With Panda Love, Panda Bob

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Dear World, It's me, Panda Bob. Animal Place bought vegan store Republic of V and all I got was this salt block. Rude. If you shop at this ALLEGED store, bring me something other than a salt block. You may give it to my ghostwriter, Marji. She is my personal poison-tester. Anyways. I'm excited by this news because I hear my gorgeous face will grace the store walls. Excellent. With great awesomeness, P. Bob

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Dear World, It's me, Panda Bob. Why isn't it April 24, 2014? WHY. On that day in history, the grass grew to my chest. MY CHEST. Today in present history, the grass is so boring. It grows to my ankles. The other cows eat it. I HAVE TO SHARE. April 24, 2014 is the best day in my history to date. COME BACK TO ME. While you are getting smoochy, I'm getting nothing but ankle grass. RUDE. In contemplation, Panda Bob

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Dear World, It's me, Panda Bob. These are my neighbors. They are tiny, fuzzy, and smell funny. Also they do not respect my authority. Or me, in general. And they have ridiculous names like Sparkle Snowball and Jingle. I sincerely hope none of you are responsible for these naming shenanigans. With Hope for Better Naming Skills for You, P. Bob

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Dear World, It's me, Panda Bob! I told my ghostwriter this was a TERRIBLE photo because I am way bigger than this and she was all, "But you look so cute!" CUTE?!?!?! Rude. (Now, starting Puppy Bowl pup Titan is what I'd consider a cute creature. Also, baby pandas.) Anyways, this is NOT - as my ghostwriter would have you believe - a photo of me "snuggling" with Theodore. This is me shoving Theodore over in my quest for world domination. Mort (brother from another mother) and I spend our days pretending* to be way cooler than all the other cows. Keep being cool but not cooler than me, P. Bob, THE ONE AND ONLY *Wait, what? *I* never pretend.

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Dear World, It's me, Panda Bob. Now that I am older and hanging with the big bovines, it's time to reflect back on when I was younger and equally awesome. Like remember that time I challenged a green bouncy ball to a duel? No? Well, rude.  Anyways, I did. And I won, because I win at everything. You're welcome. Winner at everything, Panda Bob

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Dear World,

It's me, ADULT Panda Bob!

Yesterday my brother from another mother Mortimer and I decided to grow the heck up and meet all the adult cows!

As you can see, I met my twin Mr. Panda and immediately we bonded like nobody's business. PANDA COWS UNITE!

Anyways, you can watch Mortimer's shenanigans in this video. I don't engage in shenanigans so you'll just see me being my usual awesome self. YOU ARE SO WELCOME!

With Panda Love, Me, Panda Bob

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