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#shut up marty – @anenlighteningellipsis on Tumblr
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Beauty in the apertures of pain

@anenlighteningellipsis / anenlighteningellipsis.tumblr.com

I want to say Without temper If possible without the least sense of the heroic Without even the measured ambition to speak the truth which is only another vulgarity To say I am not what I was Indeed I was nothing and now I am at least the possibility of something and this I will defend.
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Anyone else vibrating with anxiety, just switching between election news/results/livestreams whilst crying into your drink on the precipice of a panic attack ??? Just me? ?!!

#fuckfucjfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuxkfuuuu#I’ve taken sooo many natural and prescribed meds toooo uughg#NOTHING save a horse tranq could calm me down rn istg#i literally don’t know what I’m gonna do if this goes tits up#I’m afab queer chronically ill hella trans… like ?!!#any of my international followers/mutuals wanna spouse this mess up ?? jic ????#😰🫣😵‍💫#shut up marty#kamala 2024#us elections#us politics#fuck fascism#***
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beggars-opera

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

#ohhh godddd#yes this#text#one of the biggest draws of this platform for me has always been its lack of transparency#shall we say#that shutter or veil between you and your followers#that no other site it seems deems worthy of implementing#i have never thought it necessary for nor have i wanted everyone to know#how many people follow me how many i follow my numbers in general etc#it simply isn't relevant... and i'm a very private person#but the above kind of whiplash inducing reality slap is an inevitable biproduct of that lack of transparency#i wouldn't change it... but it can be A Lot#///me#shut up marty#***#marty's tag waffles
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i missed this... i missed you lovely people, this safe, curated space i’ve created over the years... i’ve really, really missed it here. i’m just browsing around, rediscovering some of my favourite blogs and going back through my tags on here and... my chest feels lighter. this is a form of [therapy *cough*] creative expression that i’ve had to put on the back burner for a while and i underestimated just how important it is to me, how much i love it and love these beautiful blogs and NEED this beauty and safety and loveliness... anyway, i missed you.

#<<<333#yes i'm back#tentatively...#but god my heart's blooming#enough with the cheese#shut up marty#personal
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reblogged
catherinedefrance
#@ myself#i'm working on loving mY SELF here people#it's all I can manage atm#l'amour#je t'aime#handwriting#i'm so full of romance but.. don't want to spend it on anyone else ??#or rather I CAN'T afford to expend the energy on anyone else#like I have a deficit of spoons and I can only reserve them for ME#that is all#and even then there are usually only a precious few#but I deserve everything so#i'm romancing mYSELF DAMMIT#shut up marty#personal#ish#marty's tag waffles
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darlingvita
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alrauna
Source: instagram.com
#sunset#aahhhhh#shalom#landscapes#mother nature#this looks so idyllic...#but there will always be that nagging pragmatic bitch whispering in the flock of my brain geese#going... ' but what about... the I n s e c t ssssss ??!!!! the chiggers and ticks and I haven't even mentioned... the snnnnakesssssssssss'#gd her seriously...#///me#shut up marty#to see if there's a pub
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macrolit

If a friend asked, which of these books would you recommend most?

#books#goddd idk...#[most are must reads]#it depends on what time of life you're in...#what book speaks to you when you need it to and also are open for it#everyone should read all quiet on the western front and the odyssey and the color purple#but I know people who have been turned off by 'the color purple' by the first few sentences one year#then come back and revisited it and read the whole thing in a matter of hours#portrait of the artist... has invaluable advice and timeless wisdom for anyone#not just artists#they're all essential imo#[ok mayyybe not d.h. *aherm*]#[… and I don't personally think the English patient is an essential read...]#it just depends on which one you are drawn to and again which one speaks to you the most#so first of all you have to be attuned to your own inner voice...#oh fuck it just start with love in the time of cholera and if you can't handle that then stop and unfollow me immediately#////me#shut up marty#personal#do recommend#and also... don't#to see if there's a pub
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reblogged
mistflarden-deactivated20200816
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tallwife

Is anybody else obsessed with understanding how others perceive you like… who am I in your lives… what kind of person am I… a friend of mine told me once that I’m mysterious and I was like ??????!???)????

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starsabovethegreywaterfalls

*me handing out a papers* I’m gonna need you all to write a detailed essay of min 45 pages describing exactly how you perceive me and why plus an oral presentation with appropriate soundtrack.

#*ahERM*#***#text#this is totally not#personal#i mean that in the sense that i don't 'care' what others think#it won't affect my behaviour or make me self conscious#i'm just a very innately curious person#and also unfortunately an often very oblivious one#so i really need to be Told#in an overt blunt preferably intellectual way#///me#shut up marty
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do you ever just abruptly find yourself in a john oliver ‘last week tonight’ vortex after a number of hours [yes, a number of, we don’t know how many...,,,] and ‘prosecutors will decide’ is being chanted satanically by a rapidly increasing number of reporters during an episode your conscious mind barely registered you where even in..... and also you just really need to hydrate....  ??? anyway, ta v much john.

#wth is Reality ? ?#welcome to the slag heap darlings#jesus though...#*shudders*#after that i need a cigarette#utter rubbish#not john - he's gold#tbd#shut up marty#personal
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reblogged
supernatasha
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cinema-shots

“The truth is, sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.”

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Source: cinema-shots
#i'm gonna cry just thinking about this movie how dare you#i feel attacked and vulnerable *shivers and hides from the world under covers*#because that will help... right.#depression#shut up marty#brokeback mountain#ang lee#film#lgbtq#reflection#i remember when this came out and i was a gayby teenager and i just Knew it would be important to me
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reblogged
gayingmantis
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a-french-guardsman

when will people use the anon function to send passionate, homosexual anonymous love letters

reblog if you want a passionate, homosexual anonymous love letter

#OH. SWEET. SAPPHIC. LORDD#*holds hand up to the sky*#bestow them upon me#please#letters#solicitations#make the world a gayer place#also given that i'm nonbinary you could just give me a 'queer'/gay [umbrella term] love letter#i feel a bit uncomfortable with the homosexual part when directed at me when i'm nb#:///#anyway i digress#shut up marty#text#lgbtq
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luthienne
… I am very concerned when I imagine how strangled and cut off you currently live, afraid of touching anything that is filled with memories (and what is not filled with memories?). You will freeze in place if you remain this way. You must not, dear. You have to move.

Rainer Maria Rilke, from a letter to Sidonie Nádherná von Borutín, August 1, 1913

#i'm moving mate !! i'm mooo vinggg#i'm trying so. hard.#*cries silently*#***#rainer maria rilke#personal#shut up marty#memory#quotes#stagnation#NO#i am moving forward#and it's like wading through a bog...#uugughg#////me
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