excruciatingly alive- chest so tight you could beat percussive on my lungs. then rebel rebel, two timing hermetic angel, pummeling contagious; tiny, keen reminder you’re no longer here to hear it; how muffled and mellow the world must sound from six feet down. walking to the corner store for smokes- five layer indiscernible bobbing bundle in snow. next, collapsed between looming sentinels of evergreen. hollow blackness consumes my faltering steps. it’s cresting again; obligingly, melodically, i must ride it, ride it. this grief comes in waves.