Beauty in the apertures of pain

Darling, I don’t ‘interpret’ it. I conceived of it when I was thinking of a title for this blog… as much as anyone conceives of anything. I’m sure it isn’t ‘original’ - what really is?… It is simply my mission in life. It is my objective, my inspiration, my credo, the only concept that gets me through at my lowest points. Living with multiple illnesses [chronic, mental, etc.] for over twelve years [some, nearly fifteen] has been a cruel, arduous, extremely eventful challenge. But, it has also had its moments of beauty, in between the pain, but also because of and intrinsically linked with the pain. If I can manage to find a glimmer of beauty, of incandescence and light, in this, my often dark and pain-ridden world, if I can manage to somehow reveal this beauty to someone else and share it with them, then I can manage; it is worth it. Going on with life is worthwhile. All I am ever really attempting to do is to find the beauty between that pain, find it flickering alongside the pain, find where the beauty shines into the pain and evolves into another entity entirely… Apertures are gaps, spaces through which light enters and passes through a camera lense, they enable the capturing of a photo… The camera is the pain, it is my life; the beauty, the light which passes through it and enables it to fully function, makes it whole… Suffice it to say I am always searching for, attempting to create, to inspire, to capture, to really see, beauty around me; through the pain, within the pain and without, always chasing the glimmers of light as the sun through the barley fields, as a glinting silver doe through the trees…