anenlighteningellipsis reblogged
the “almosts”
. . . how strange
they bring me more
pleasure
than the “have-hads”
more titillation
to have brought it to that
point
and then
to just . . .
let it lay
on a thorn-ridden, blood-soaked bed
of “should have"s and “led-on"s and "you tease”
“you whore"s
but, guess what, baby?
i can breathe with it,
assimilate it,
walk with it
with a rhythmic, satisfactory sway in my hips
sans regret,
and so
goodbye, my hopeless dream
my masochistic reverie
in sweet delicious,
beautiful futile
agony
of anatomical fruitlessness
i lay in simultaneous sublime neutrality
for the simple reason
i am my own
i am free.
anenlighteningellipses, “no histrionics, please”