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#existence – @anenlighteningellipsis on Tumblr
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Beauty in the apertures of pain

@anenlighteningellipsis / anenlighteningellipsis.tumblr.com

I want to say Without temper If possible without the least sense of the heroic Without even the measured ambition to speak the truth which is only another vulgarity To say I am not what I was Indeed I was nothing and now I am at least the possibility of something and this I will defend.
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"God if I am rabid, I am equal to what is outside," she said out loud, and felt an extraordinary relief as though, at last, she’d discovered what it was that could create a balance between the quiet, rather vacant procession of the days she spent in this house, and those portents that lit up the dark at the edge of her own existence.

Paula Fox, Desperate Characters

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“Being born a woman is an awful tragedy. Yes, my consuming desire to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, bar room regulars—to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording—all is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night.”

Sylvia Plath

fuck every single time that last line gets quoted without the rest

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Perhaps to them the first condition for anything having real charm was this: that it must not really exist. To them only possibilities had any interest; realities carried no weight. They themselves had all the possibilities in hand, and had never given them away in order to make a definite choice and come down to a limited reality.

Isak Dinesen, from "The Supper at Elsinore", Seven Gothic Tales

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'I exist.' In thousands of agonies — I exist. I'm tormented on the rack — but I exist! Though I sit alone in a pillar — I exist! I see the sun, and if I don't see the sun, I know it's there. And there's a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there.

Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov (via whyallcaps)

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