Steven Universe Snake Eyes chapter 5: Be Prepared (originally posted on September 25, 2023)

AN: We only have one chapter to go before the big halfway point, and I got quite a few things planned for it. We'll be getting the long-awaited rematch between Steven and Black Rutile, the beginning of the end of the Rutile Rebels, the true nature of Prince Nosiop's plans for the universe, and many more. Tensions will run high as the story reaches the second half, and the endgame will be the most epic that Alternate Future has seen yet. Now without further ado, let's get things started.

Synopsis: Black Rutile and her subordinates find themselves caught in a scheme by the insidious heir to Serpentes's throne to conquer the universe, and Black Rutile is all too eager to get in on the plan for the sake of revenge.

Cast:

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Jason Marsden as Prince Nosiop Jormagundr

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Doc, Navy, Army, Leggy

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Gina Torres as Andesine

Avi Roque as Cinnabar

Awkwafina as Kyanite

Allison Janney as Pyrite

Kimberly Brooks as Dalmatian Jasper

Zehra Fazal as Zoisite

Lena Hall as Bloodstone

Jodie Whittaker as Xenotime

Barbara Dunkelman as Amber

Kristen Schaal as Howlite

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Keith David as Pyth

Cissy Jones as Princess Naja Jormagundr

Aurelio Voltaire as King Cobralan Jormagundrr

Shirley Millner as Queen Constricta Jormagundr

Zach Callison as Steven

Zach Steel as Ronaldo

Atticus Shaffer as Peedee

Matthew Moy as Lars

Julissa Aguirre as Lady Imagineer

John Mulaney as Flipso

--

Prince Nosiop Jormagundr wasn't always the way he was today. When he was a young snake, Nosiop was a prince with big dreams for the future of his race. However, not everyone was willing to listen to him because he was so young, but he didn't let that deter him. One year, during the 419,982nd annual Contest of Champions, Nosiop tried once again to plead his case to his father.

"Conquering the Ood? Surely you jest, my boy!" King Cobralan objected to what his son had just said as the two slithered through the castle halls. "You know we'd be no match for their psychic abilities! It would be utterly stupid!"

"But please, Father, our lives could be so much easier with a hivemind serving us!" Nosiop stated, but his father still wouldn't listen. "In fact, tons of races and planets would be of great use to our people, like the Shamoians, the Mooninites, and the Watchdogs. Maybe we could even abduct ourselves a few Gems!"

"Enough, my son." Cobralan urged his future successor. "I can see you have big ideas, but unfortunately, they don't align with our culture. Now, I'm going to speak with the Universal Lords for a bit. You go off and have fun at the Contest with your mother and your baby sister." He then began to slither away. "I'll see you again soon."

Although Cobralan left the conversation with a smile, Nosiop wasn't as happy as his father. "He just doesn't get it!" Nosiop grumbled angrily. "We could be perfect conquerors, just the two of us ruling the universe as father and son!"

"It truly is a shame that your father wouldn't give you the time of day," Pyth said as he appeared behind Nosiop. "My father was like that too when I was your age. Unlike yours, however, he didn't live long enough to see things my way."

"Are you suggesting I kill my father?" Nosiop asked curiously, causing Pyth to laugh at the idea.

"No, my boy, I'm way past killing parents!" Pyth chuckled loudly. "What do you think I am, Uncle Claudius?!" After another round of laughter, Pyth decided to get serious as he put a hand on the young prince's shoulder. "Come with me, child. There are many things I wish to teach you."

Nosiop obediently followed the royal family's grand vizier down the hallways and into a hidden room within the castle walls. As loyal as he was to his father, the prince of the Slytherophidians often believed that Pyth was more of a dad to him because of how much they agreed with each other on certain topics, chief among them being what should the future holds for their race.

--

Little Homeworld Life chapter 5: But Wait, There’s More! (originally posted on September 12, 2022)

AN: At long last, Teal Zircon gets an episode to herself! In fact, she'll be getting two this season, because she's just so much fun to write. Yeah, she can be insensitive and act like an annoying little kid, but at the end of the day, she wouldn't hurt a fly! In fact, the fly would put up more of a fight. In short, get ready for a lot of laughs with Teal around, and maybe a few other surprises here and there too.

Synopsis: Teal Zircon is recruited to star in a commercial for Little Homeschool.

Cast:

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl

Atticus Shaffer as Peedee

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Zuli

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper, Rude Commercial Narrator

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Alex Newell as Monazite

--

"UP YOURS, DELMARVA!" a commercial loudly insulted the viewers as the Crystal Gems watched the taunting advertisement. "If you're dumb enough to buy some refrigerators this weekend, you're stupid enough to come on over to Big Kim's Appliances! Overly expensive products, absolute garbage, fees!" she bellowed while the commercial demonstrated how crummy the store's products were. "We don't care what you think; YOU NEED THESE REFRIGERATORS! We believe that you are so woefully idiotic that you'll buy any piece of trash we'll sell you, GUARANTEED! If you think we're ripping you off, THEN GET OUT YOU HOPELESS, LIFELESS MOTHERF-"

"Okay, I think that's enough of these commercials." Pearl interrupted the announcer by shutting off the TV. "Now, I presented this overly persuasive advertisement to you all today because Little Homeschool has been experiencing a bit of a slump lately." To demonstrate, Pearl then unveiled a graph revealing the growing lack of Gems attending the school, which was far lower than average. "Ever since Steven left us, the school hasn't seen much attendance lately, and it's starting to look very concerning."

"Good, the fewer thralls, the better!" Black Rutile jeered at her archenemies while passing them by with a crate full of machine parts.

"Nobody invited you to this meeting." Garnet coldly told the Rutile. "Now leave."

"I just felt like insulting you anyways." Black Rutile grumbled as she kept walking. "Got better things to do today."

"Anyways, it seems many Gems came here because they were attracted to Steven's kindness and charisma." Pearl continued her speech. "Without him around, we need to find a way to replicate that personality so we can attract more students. Any ideas?"

"We need big signs." Garnet coolly suggested. "Big signs always mean big crowds."

"But we need to attract Gems from all across the universe." Pearl proclaimed. "We need a sign that big for everyone to see!"

"I don't know, maybe an open house or something?" Lapis then added. "I can help make pamphlets, and we can pass them out."

"Hm, that would take a lot of time, though." Pearl pondered. "Any other ideas?"

"Ooh, let's make our own commercial!" Amethyst eagerly replied. "Just like that refrigerator one!"

"I agree with Amethyst here." Jasper concurred with her surrogate sister. "Plus, that lady in the ad sounded awfully familiar."

"But who do we make into our spokes-Gem?" Bismuth asked. "I mean, Lapis and Jasper sure ain't person people, and Peridot would just make the ad all about her."

"I'm standing right here, you know!" Peridot complained. "I think out of all of us, Garnet, Amethyst, or Pearl would be the best for our advertisement since they are far more familiar with Earth than any of us could ever hope to be."

"You raise a good point, Peridot, but I have a different Gem in mind." Garnet proclaimed before she looked at White Topaz sitting next to her. "White Topaz, we need Teal Zircon. Have her brought to us ASAP!"

"Yes, ma'am!" White Topaz obediently saluted. "Uh, what for?"