with me either i am showered with thirty minutes of makeup and hair done or i haven’t changed out of my pajama pants in three days. there is no inbetween

I do not spew profanities. I enunciate them clearly, like a fucking lady.

my life can be described by throwing something into a garbage can and missing

now its just life 

eating food while waiting for your other food to be ready

do you ever just feel so awkward when you buy something and pay in cash and the cashier gives you the change back but you take a few seconds to put the money in your wallet and you can feel the world judging you from afar 

A haiku about working in retail

Why’d you put that there

That’s not where you got that from

You lazy asshole

Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

(via lindawyatt)

My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and It’s just me laughing at my own jokes