"oh please mr harker listen to me talk for hours so you can correct my already-perfect english" okay slut
there's a bard loose in kaer morhen. this has never happened. no one knows what the bard is going to do next, least of all the bard. he’s never been in kaer morhen before, he’s as confused as you are
“If you love like that, blood runs cold.” “Shut the fuck up, Wade.” “Ooh. You hear that, Petey? The mouth on the Catholic boy.”
andillwriteyouatragedy reblogged
okay so i accidentally left my flip-flops in the bathroom after i showered and, when i came back to wash my face later, i found that i had only one shoe with a post-it ransom note attached
(if you ever want your other flipflop, leave $100,000 here in 24 hours)
what do i do
update: i asked my dad about it (since this is his handwriting) and he claims he has no knowledge of this and that his handwriting was forged
it seems i have no other choice than to comply
update: i have taken $100,000 out of the bank
i will leave iit all with the shoe and see how this goes
update:
update: i have returned and the money is gone, but my flipflop has been returned to me, safely and in one piece
it was scary but it's over now