i do it all for my lover: The Time Being

An embroidery of the Wikipedia page for embroidery.

that’s quite the law you’ve got for disabled veterans; you got anything for disabled people who didn’t shoot anyone?

scary pop up

my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.

i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.

point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.

i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.

i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.

i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.

(i think i was...six?)

anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.

(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)

so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?

so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.

the compost pile was full of worms.

and she told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and i would go to heaven, and i would be able to talk to the worms, and i would be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident out of excessive Love, and that they would forgive me, because worms have six hearts and no malice.

at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.

and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.

but because she loved me.

Wait, you're telling me I spent the latter half of my childhood deathly terrified of worms for NOTHING? That was a lie?

huh. you viewed worms entirely mythical regenerative powers as something to be feared. i viewed it as an opportunity. something something The Duality of Man.

i am considering that fear produced a better outcome than love for both you and the worm. this feels like an important thought.

I would contend that lying, not love, was the true culprit here, because if your grandpa hadn't lied to you about the regenerative powers of worms, your love of them would not have been steered in an unfortunate direction. even so, by spurring you to act, it was love that ultimately uncovered the lie you'd been told and thus led to knowledge, while fear kept your interlocutor paralyzed and ignorant for years longer than necessary. so I'd say the lesson is that whereas fear and lies ultimately lead people astray, it's love that redirects us to something better.

i've had enough of being so brave about it i want to start screaming

everything is a transgender allegory except being transgender which is about being alive

people with chronic pain and chronic fatigue will be like why does it hurt and why am I so tired

i thionk we should dump hundreds of gallons of acid on lady liberty to turn her copper again. i think itd be cool. and i think the hudson bay could handle all the acid because its got that new yawk spirit.

After many discussions with the relevant cultists; by a vote of 87 to 28 it has been determined that aircraft can sin.

hurricanes should be named after the responsible corporations and politicians who deny climate change

petition for the next hurricane to hit florida that starts with D to be named Desantis

Inflation is so bad I bet $20 isn't even enough to turn a straight man gay anymore that's gotta be like at least $40 in today's economy

Microsoft purchased France, and changed its motto to "Liberté, Égalité, Fenêtres."

“im a creep im a weirdo” umm, ok? i send a pestilence and plague into your house, into your bed, into your streams, into your streets, into your drink, into your bread

how to stop isolating yourself?? the answer is give up on code and hidden messages. love fully and loudly and truthfully and always. be deliberate. be open. feel everything. but won’t it be hard? won’t it hurt? yes!!!! yes.