I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

Edgar Allen Poe predicted the future. His only novel is about 4 shipwrecked men who run out of food and eat the cabin boy, Richard Parker. 46 years after it published, a yacht sank in real life and 3 of the 4 survivors also decided to eat the cabin boy… named Richard Parker. Source

Tumblr Teaches History

I reblog this for the anon who once sent me an ask telling me there was no such thing as a history fandom on tumblr.

Hi-hi-historical jokes.

History According to Tumblr (18 Pics)

The Frustrated Captioned Adventures of George Washington

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V | PART VI | PART VII | PART VIII | PART IX | PART X | PART XI

Source

back the fuck up

There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.

So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.

The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.

Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.

did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out

This just keeps getting better

Having an Australian accent is like being sent to prison for a crime I didn’t commit

Being Australian is because of a crime you didn’t commit

Cruel

i was going to say ‘not everyone!’ but then i remembered that mums side came here from an axe murderer and dads side some dude stole 7 horses and thats why i’m australian

US army doctor returns arm to Vietnamese soldier fifty years after he took it as a souvenir.

there are so many intersecting levels of fucked up here

if you were a twin in ancient rome they would name the firstborn and then name the secondborn after the firstborn

except 

if your older twin’s name was geminus, your name would be anti-geminus

that is the equivalent of naming your children steve and not steve

#those wacky Romans

if you ever worry that you’re weird, or taking it a bit far as a fangirl, remember that people in ancient Rome used to buy vials of their favorite gladiator’s sweat to wear as perfume. so like. at least its not a new thing.

#the greatest caption in the history of the world

Promoing at the beach

Ancient Roman prostitutes did something similar, but usually they would have phalluses inscribed in their sandals. So, if you were ever in the mood, you could just look down and follow the dicks.

follow the yellow dick-road

Poland’s Wedding to the Sea

i summed up half of english history in like 2 sentences

Haunted postcards from the 1910s – vintage Halloween with a twist

if u ever get disheartened just remember people in the 19th Century were painting hot Napoleon/Tsar Alexander boyfriend yowz before our great-grandparents were even conceived

History according to Tumblr.

I’M CRYING I’M IN HYSTERICS I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER RECOVER THIS MEANS I CANNOT GO TO COLLEGE ON WEDNESDAY THANK YOU

Putting this on my main blog because I know everyone loves history as much as I do and needs to laugh.