Why are dragons for children and why can’t I identify with them?
I’ve seen more and more posts claiming that aces and aros have “stolen” dragons from children. That we’re corrupting dragons some how with our dirty a-spec ways and sexualizing a children’s toy, essentially.
Two things are assumed with this:
- That dragons inherently belong to children
- That a-spec individuals identifying with dragons somehow perverts the concept of dragons
I take great issue with the thought that dragons are for kids. Not just because they are, often, violent creatures that level cities and horde possessions. No, my issue is with the connotation that surrounds labeling something as “for kids.”
The connotation surrounding a “for” label are very simple. If you are not included in that label, it isn’t for you. If something is “for women,” the thought is that it isn’t for men too. If something is “for dogs,” it isn’t for people. And if something is “for kids,” it isn’t for adults.
Dragons being “for kids” is part of a larger issue. This idea stems from the larger marginalization of fantasy as a genre being “for kids.”
Ursula K. Le Guin says it best in Why are Americans Afraid of Dragons? This is a study of why adults (all around the world mostly in industrialized places but looked at from the American perspective here) distance themselves from fantasy as a genre and put it down as “for kids.”
Dragons shouldn’t be considered just for children. That stems from a larger issue and fantasy isn’t just for kids. Much of it is quite mature in content.
So, how are a-spec people that identify with dragons stealing them? The real question is, why are adults giving them to children in the first place? Dragons are an important part of so many cultures. They represent things spanning from evil and greed to benevolence, bringers of life and rain to protectors of women. Essentially all civilizations have some sort of dragon myth.
The dragon is such an interesting symbol, too. In so many myths, they kidnap virgins and a hero must rescue the maiden; he often then marries her and removes her maidenhood. Snakes often symbolize sex and sensuality (how many times have you seen a boa across a woman’s naked breasts, preserving her modesty but still suggesting sensuality? often with female singers) but dragons, connected with the concept of serpents, are complicated.
Dragons have this inherent sexuality implicated and what do they do? They kidnap and protect virgins, despite not being able to do anything with them.
A-spec people don’t need to “pervert” the dragon. They’ve always had a tumultuous relationship with sex. And I think it’s pretty understandable that an a-spec would look at these creatures, who have a connection to sex but also stand apart from it, that protect this concept of virginity (that can also be looked at as sexlessness, or a lack of sex), that can do nothing with their horde but still cherishes it… that a-spec people would look at this as see parallels. Make connections.
How is it wrong to associate with something? How is it perverse or theft or corrupting? Dragons are complicated multi faceted creatures.
So are the a-specs that identify with them.
