The reality, for me, is that I would have been disappointed no matter what the outcome was. One movie-length episode feels disappointing the same way that a full season would have felt disappointing. The way getting nothing would have felt disappointing. Because nothing about this has felt good since July, when the news about NG started coming out.

Everybody is going to have their own mileage in separating art from artist. Anybody who follows me knows I still intermittently draw for the fandom. I love the characters. I've made friends with so many wonderful creators. It's hard to pull all the way back. But there's always a bad taste in the back of my mouth about it. I can't feel the same joy anymore.

So yes, I'm disappointed, but I'm disappointed in the because. This is the outcome because of NG's actions. And for me any outcome--ANY outcome--would have been disappointing because of NG's actions. I can't summon any rage about the format.

I'm going to go ahead and pin this, and then link to my previous pin about the situation from back in July. Because I think about this every time I create or share GO fanwork in this space, and every time people reblog the pieces that I made when I was so excited with everybody else about the S3 announcement. That bad taste, y'know. It's sticky.

📸 David Duchovny & Gillian Anderson photographed by Mark Seliger, 1997

garrus says: don't forget to take a break from calibrations every few hours to stretch your wrists!

Reblog if you're a partially muscled skeleton screaming for 30 seconds by the perimeter fence on November 14th

it is november, and yesterday it felt like it was supposed to be snowing. in boston, november used a winter month, not a fall month. it is supposed to be chilly; rarely capping over 45F. it is a sweater-and-jacket month. it is a "maybe a scarf too" month. in my childhood, november meant blizzards and sleet.

it did not snow. tomorrow the weather predicts a high of 76.

i have spent so many years of my life studying the longterm possibilities of climate change - the culmination of capitalism wreaking havoc on the bodies of people, animals, plants - but every so often i am still shocked by something small and personal.

in a hundred years, when someone goes outside in boston - will they know the feeling of "snow in the air"?

i know it's a learned feeling, a sensation that maybe only longterm experience can teach. a few years ago, i was walking with my friend who had just moved up from the south. i said it smells like snow and she gave me this look like - what the fuck. i said it feels like snow too, which didn't help. she looked up to the bright blue sky and then back at me and then back at the sky. 12 hours later, we had 3 inches. you can just tell if it's going to snow.

except i can't tell, anymore. i stand outside in a tee shirt and watch my dog dance around a lake. we're in a drought and the skin of the water has peeled back twenty meters. the lake is tamed, quiet, puddlelike and sour. my pokemon go app warns there's a weather condition in my area.

my dog gets too hot from running and sits in the water and i want to laugh about his long frame and how awkwardly he sits - and i can't. some simian part of my brain is scratching the walls. it was supposed to snow. it was supposed to snow, but now it's warm instead.

during the last full solar eclipse, the dogs and the birds and the crickets went crazy under utter darkness. we laughed at them then, promising it will all be okay in a moment. but some part of me is still locked in that long night: some animal sensation.

something is wrong, my body says. i can't afford eggs or rent. i go outside to watch a sunset and listen to birdsong. i don't bring a jacket. allergies are killing me this season, allergies i didn't have as a kid. everyone comments that halloween has started to feel strange, offkilter. that it's hard having "holiday cheer." my body thinks it's april, and then it thinks we're in september, and then june.

something is terribly wrong, she whispers. go outside. it is supposed to be snowing.

Finances are tight and I don't have the time to take on more commissions, so I put my monstergirl artbook PDF on KoFi for $2.50. My goal is to cover a year of me and my spouse's medical expenses. It's also on my Patreon at the $4+ tier, along with dozens of desktops and hundreds of sketches.

The support I've gotten from this has been huge in keeping afloat. If you like my monstergirls and want 24 pages of art and lore, this is a great way to support me.

$2.50 on Kofi. Or get it and hundreds of sketches with the $4 tier on Patreon.

-Kit-

I tried out digital oils this week. I'd have liked this one to be done for N7 Day, but I needed more time to work out what I was doing.

Shepard concentrating intensely on building her new Normandy model.

Monday morning rb for this weekend's art experiment.

I must not explain the joke. Explaining the joke is the joke-killer. I will face my followers who did not get the joke. I will permit them to pass over me and through me

you are making this so difficult

For N7 Day I went back to the Silversun Strip.

Sorry, Ryuusei Sushi. I'm sure you were great.

"At preview size it looks a little like hanar porn." - local bestie #1

Happy n7-day 🫶

"All of... that. Is my name in your language?" (7/25/22)

A piece from last year that I made when I started my NG+ run. It pairs with one of the few fics that I've written, which I'll throw in as well for anybody else with a raging clarity-of-communication kink.

N7 Day reblog for this fic that I'm still proud of.

Reach and Flexibility (11/25/21)

Mass Effect is a dating sim pretending to be a cover-shooter.

N7 Day reblog for the dating sim.

I did a quick Garrus in my current style.

N7 Day reblog for my favorite 7' tall boyfriend made of metal and guns.

Know who I've never ever drawn before? Legion.

There's probably a thousand things to fix in here, but in fairness to me I think this went way better than the first time I drew Garrus. 🙃

N7 Day reblog for this champion with a soul.