After you, I thought I’d never need anyone else. But life’s not fair, and things fall apart…and I don’t know how to visit someone in prison.
SR 7/15/17
Fine. You win. I miss you. It's always a contest and I'm ready to accept defeat. Please just come back. I've had the worst day I've had in a while and I'm trying to trudge through it and I still can't get my thoughts to leave you alone. All I can think about is how I'm never not smiling with you, how weightless you make me feel. And I miss you. I miss you like hell and it's dragging me down like an anchor dropped in my stomach. I need you to teach me how to float again, but I'm here, and you're there, and I don't know how long I can keep from drowning on my own.
SR 12/19/16 @anchored-and-drowning
It's you. It's always been you. If you see it, I do not know. If I'll ever tell you, I do not know. I told my friends how strongly you've consumed me and they think I'm kidding because I'm too scared to say it seriously. I know you're the type to hide any trace of emotion you feel because I'm the same way. I'd never tell you this, but when we were laughing and I took your phone, you had a single reminder on your home screen when I looked at it."You will be okay". For a split second, my smile was gone and I looked at you. You looked like you'd just told me your most terrible secret. I almost asked. I was so close. But whatever this is, it's too fragile for us to go that deep so I just started laughing again. It was this night that it hit me so hard how much I want to dive into your depths. I want to know you. I realize I've never been upset around you, I've never not been laughing, or less than on top of the world.
But I never know what you're really thinking, if you even like me as a person, or if you hate me like you pretend to so well. Ever since I met you I knew. But it's forbidden. I don't even know if you're seeing anyone. How do I tell you I'm here? How do I tell you I care? How do I tell you I'd sacrifice it all?
I can't. And I'm sorry. Just remember, you will be okay. You will be okay. I promise, when your world comes crashing down around you, you will be okay.
SR 12/13/16 @anchored-and-drowning