Object permanence (n.)
The idea that love persists even when they are not with you
That love doesn’t need to be looking at you or touching you for it to be true
It’s still there, my darling, even when you close your eyes
“You pushed and shoved my spirit and my very soul out of my body just to stuff it to the brim with your own. Another empty wake for you to occupy.
And you call that love?
How could you do that.
And how could I not stop you.”
-VI 3/21/22
It’s been three years since you said you wanted to be with me forever. so where have you been since then?
SR why am I still thinking about you
anchored-and-drowning reblogged
Dreaming is for the great. Everyone else is replaying anxiety filled pasts or trying to predict their future and driving themselves insane. If you find yourself dreaming, please run with it. It means you know there’s a loop hole or pipes that may lead you right there, and you just gotta keep dreaming it up, darling baby.
awinterkissx | mami lessons.
Isn't it just absolutely insane that you will always always have your soul. All those times you felt your heart ripping in your chest, all the tears diluting the shower water, and all your broken parts shattering on the floor. All the lowest lows, you still had your soul. And you're here now. So wasn't that all you needed?
06/16/2020
I just want a light hearted kind of love. The kind of love that fills your heart with laughs and sweet sweet sugar. No judgment. No expectations. Just a crazy~fall into your arms~ type of running and jumping sticky sweet kind of love.
4/27/2020
‘I like the way everything feels alright with you.’ As I read these 9 simple words, hands clutching at my chest, I could feel my heart melt like a candle. Dripping down down down. Seeping further into the bedsheets with every breath.
how do I stop falling for you
6/11/2020
anchored-and-drowning reblogged
losing people is so interesting bc like. no i don't want to speak to you ever again. yes i think about you on your birthday.
“Dear N, I know your dad wasn’t around to teach you the word ‘no’. But fuck. you.
Dear C, All I can say is thank you. Thank you for making me feel wanted. However short but oh so syrupy sweet. Dear K, It’s been four years and I still haven’t clung to someone like I did to you the day we said goodbye. Dear R, We never quite made it but I know the next girl crushed your soul. And god did that feel good. Dear S, Who knew that love and sex could be so opposite. Surely not me.
Dear K,
Did you have to hit me over the head with a bottle? Did you really really have to? Dear K, We really didn’t have to get coffee the next morning. Trust me. Dear D, For someone who looks like that, I really don’t know how we went so wrong. Dear A, If only narcissism could stand in for love, like a cigarette to a meal. Maybe we would’ve made it out alive.
Dear K,
Oh K. My sweet sweet baby. If only you had a brain cell more.
Dear A,
I see you learned the ol’ take a girl to the train tracks at night trick. And oh god did I learn to fall for it.
Dear V
The wisdom you hold in the very fibers of your magnificent being has so much potential to teach the world. Just not me.
Dear T
FUCK. fuck. This is it huh. The day I stop editing this poem. We’ll see my love, we sure will see huh
”
--to all the boys I melted for
04/06/2020
anchored-and-drowning reblogged
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.”
— Annie Lamott
We’re all just chasing a good feeling. Really. Just think about it. Why do you want to fall in love? A good feeling. Why do you want to help others? To chase a good feeling.
That’s all it is. So when you ask if I’m in love with you? I can say I’m just after a good feeling. And it won’t be a lie.
2/21/2020
The other day she said to me ‘sometimes I just feel like a gas station’ and I laughed at the statement before she explained ‘people stop by to get what they need, whether it’s sex, laughter, or someone to suffocate the loneliness, until they’re full again and the last thing you ever see is them driving away’ and now I’m wondering if a gas station is all I’ll ever be
02/02/2020
“With tears in my eyes, I finally told you about the wretched ghosts of people that live in the darkest corners of my mind, and pollute the space in my head. The look in your eyes reassured me more than my mothers sweet whisper or my dads devoted grumblings ever have. Pity be damned, the love in your eyes breathes life into my aching bones every day you choose to exist with me. And when my world comes crashing down in a mess of tears and misplaced feelings, with or without you, the love you give me will reach out and say, 'come here, be still, and just be ok.'”
The first time that you screamed at me was the first time that infinite echoes of apologies couldn't bridge the widening gap between our hearts. In the same bed, yet further away than the planets. It was one of those turning points, the intangible kind. A screaming warning siren to one person, yet completely invisible to the other.
SR, where have you gone
Everyone deserves a moment in which in they fully understand the saying: home is not a place but a person. I mean that one day you hear the word ‘home’…home, home, home… and it echoes through your mind and the world disappears as your head fills with warmth and your eyes flood with light, and you know that you have found it. The very thing that will save you. The meaning of this existence. Love. The ever mysterious, yet ever gracious, Love.
SR, you saved me, and for that I have my whole life to give you 7/17/17
After you, I thought I’d never need anyone else. But life’s not fair, and things fall apart…and I don’t know how to visit someone in prison.
SR 7/15/17