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#wtf – @anachronismstellar on Tumblr
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Ana

@anachronismstellar / anachronismstellar.tumblr.com

She/Her ☆ 32yo I'm a Tired™ college student trying to get my second major, this time in something that I actually love. I'm back on my anime/manga era, and I have 0 regrets; however, Tolkien will always be in my heart.  English is not my first language.
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Sometimes being Brazilian is such a weird experience because- where do I even start uh

So, Brazil had its own January 6th situation, but ours was on January 8th: a bunch of Bolsonaro (Trump wanna be) supporters invaded our National Congress, it was a whole thing. But, the people who got caught in the mess are trying to be pardoned, because it was a bunch of random medium class people without crime records and "Oh, they are from good families!!" bla bla bla. And the government is really really trying to put those people in jail, or at least domestic incarceration.

Fast forward yesterday.

A random Bolsonarista tried to bomb our National Congress.

The dude tried to get inside the building, but security sent him away, so in a fit of anger he threw a bomb at the statue of Justice that is in front of the building and-

I kid you not.

The bomb bounced back and hit him, exploded, and killed him instantly.

So now everyone is making Uno Reverse jokes at the dead dude.

All of this......... right before tomorrow, which is a national holiday to celebrate the proclamation of our republic.

And now all the hard work the right wing put into the pardon thing might- pardon the pun- blow up because of this.

What a week.

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I once had a landlord offhandedly mention that his mother had set this house on fire before. He and his wife lived on the first floor, and i rented the third.

Apparently his mom didn’t like his wife. So she set their house on fire. The house i was living in.

He assured me that everything was fine now and that this was years ago, just kinda laughed, smiled, and said ‘You know how moms are’

Yes. I know how moms are. I know how fucked up moms are as well. I have known many fucked up moms and fellow children of fucked up moms.

Attempted murder through arson is not typical mom behavior, even for a fucked up abusive mom

Oh, and his mother lived next door 🙃

There were two houses next door to each other, both owned by the same family. They had lived there for decades, and for my landlord it was also his childhood home. Each house had three floors that acted as separate units. Every unit in the two houses was occupied by members of the extended family— except for me. I was the oddball living in the attic of one of the houses.

This is the family dynamic i was tossed into

HOUSE ONE

  • 1st floor— landlord and his wife
  • 2nd floor— identical twin sister of landlord’s wife, occasionally children (not clear whose)
  • 3rd floor— me ☺️

HOUSE TWO

  • 1st floor— landlord’s mother, who previously set house 1 on fire
  • 2nd floor— adult daughter of twin sister, her young kids, and current man (changes of man signified by throwing clothes out of window)
  • 3rd floor— creepy brother of the twin sisters who is always outside working on his van

Yes, the rent was dirt cheap

The rent was so cheap that i usually paid in cash— ATM fees were about the same as money orders (and i didn’t have checks)

Then one day my landlord is in his truck, pulling out the driveway when he stops and asks

‘Hey— you haven’t been short on rent these last few months, have you?’

No… I had been paying in full, on time

To his wife. In cash

He wasn’t normally home when i would go to pay rent, so i would give it to her. Figured it was the same as giving it to him.

Turns out instead she was pocketing $100 off the top and telling him i was short each month.

And he knew it was happening. He just wanted to confirm.

‘Each month she makes it her little pay day! Well you know how wives are’

Sir, you need to reevaluate the women in your life because this level of stealing and attempted murder is not normal

“You know how moms/wives are” is a statistical error. Landlord Georg, whose wife and mother steal from and attempt to kill him, respectively, was a outlier and should not be counted

Additional fun fact! The reason he was hard to get a hold of? He worked a crazy schedule that always changed.

He was a hospital chef. Oh. And a wedding dj. He tried many, many times to hire me to help work dj events for him.

I would politely decline

This whole thing reads as at least a 30k notes post wdym it only has 130 notes

EARLY ON A BIG POST FOR ONCE

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octobermire

The Red Sponge: Spongebob’s Role in Enforcing an Oppressive, Capitalistic Society

Every millennial who grew up watching “Spongebob Squarepants” has come to the same horrifying conclusion: you have turned into Squidward. No matter how buoyant, how cheerful, how optimistic you were as a child, there comes a point where you begin to identify with Squidward more than any other character in the show.

You could explain this phenomenon with the disillusionment and cynicism of growing up, or the burdens of being a teenager in a post-John Hughes society. There is, however, an even simpler answer. Spongebob is an allegory for Karl Marx’s The Communist Manifesto. The show revolves around Spongebob, the hardworking proletariat, accepting a low-level fry cook job and enduring Mr. Krabs’ exploitation with a grin on his face.

The face of compliance

It’s not hard to draw the parallels between Mr. Krabs and the bourgeoisie. He’s a cheapskate who underpays and overworks his employees for his own personal gain. Mr. Krabs famously ripped off his own arms (claws?) to retrieve a dime that fell down the drain. He took his workers on a boating trip to retrieve his millionth dollar from the jaws of a giant clam. He has zero regard for his employees’ safety and almost routinely puts them in danger for his own benefit.  Mr. Krabs’ daughter, Pearl is an extension of the bourgeoisie archetype. She’s vain, self-centered, and largely unaware of others’ misfortune. She lives in a bubble, obsessed with clothes, makeup, and celebrities — because she has the leisure for such frivolities.

Remember when Pearl gentrified The Krusty Krab

Speaking of living in a bubble, Sandy is not exempt from analysis. Sandy is quite literally shielded away from the rest of the world. She represents the intellectual elite, using her privilege and higher education to jeopardize working class jobs and further the industrial revolution. Her endeavors into space mirror the Cold War-era “Space Race,” capitalism versus communism. Her voyage ends on the moon, just like the U.S.’s did. On top of her scientific record, Sandy is independent and self-sufficient, exemplifying capitalistic ideals of individualism.

If Sandy is the intellectual elite, then Patrick Star is just the opposite. Patrick represents the bourgeois caricature of the working class that capitalists want you to buy into. He is ignorant, undereducated, and lazy. He lives under a rock, likely because he can’t afford anything else — although he doesn’t seem to mind. Patrick appears to deserve his poverty because he does nothing but sleep, yet he also seems at peace with his lot. This idea of the happy, unproductive bum simultaneously vilifies and justifies the proletariat. “See, they’re poor because they just don’t work hard enough! In fact, they like being poor!” Patrick Star is arguably one of the most offensive cartoon depictions of this generation.

Blatant vilification of blue-collar workers

Spongebob, on the other hand, represents the ideal proletariat. Spongebob is hardworking, humble, and endlessly optimistic. He’s a lot like us before we realized the inherent evils of a capitalistic society. Day in and day out, Spongebob gleefully works a minimum-wage job flipping burgers with no hope of promotion. He’s a cog in Mr. Krabs’ greasy machine, but he doesn’t even realize it. He just continues to skip to work every day, chanting “I’m ready!”. Ready for what, Spongebob? Ready for the bourgeoisie Kool-aid he’s been absorbing through his poriferous sponge body.

Spongebob is the ideal worker, and as children, we aspired to be just like him. The very first episode of Spongebob showed him getting his first job as fry cook. According to the show, the very best achievement you could receive is being gainfully employed. Not only employed, but tirelessly productive and efficient to maximize your manager’s profits. Spongebob famously served busloads of anchovies at a never-before-seen pace. It wasn’t enough that Spongebob could perform his job well; he had to go above and beyond his duty in order to seem valuable. These are the principles we instilled in the youth of today. What went wrong?

Back, finally, to Squidward. Squidward isn’t like Spongebob or Patrick. He isn’t satisfied in his low-level employment. What Squidward seeks is artistic satisfaction and world renown. He covets the success of his employer without achieving the work ethic necessary for someone of his class to ascend. Squidward has realized that the cards have been stacked against him at every turn, and resigns himself bitterly to the clutches of capitalism. If Squidward were less jaded, he could be the catalyst to prompt full-scale class warfare, perhaps ending in a communist utopia. Unfortunately, Squidward’s defeatist personality and egoism prevents him from implementing social change.

Mfw I realized I will never dismantle oppressive power structures that infiltrate our economic landscape

That is why we are all Squidward. We’ve uncovered the limits of capitalism and realized that hard work may not always pay off. We’ve begun to notice the oppressive economic and social structure that infiltrates our everyday life. We yearn for something higher, but feel that change is out of our reach. We become bitter, combative, self-deprecative, and cynical. There’s a reason Squidward is the unhappiest character on “Spongebob.” Not only for faults of his own, but for his own rotten luck. The show subliminally punishes Squidward for his views, hoping to prod viewers back towards Spongebob’s blithe, unfounded optimism.

Their efforts were to no avail. Millions of millennials are finding themselves disillusioned, realizing all along that Squidward was the reasonable one. He had a right to protest Mr. Krabs’ vile working conditions, and his sarcasm was merely a coping mechanism for the injustices placed against him. Squidward is the dissatisfied proletariat, and we identify with him more than ever. The difference is, we have the energy and collective power to succeed where he could not. Together, we can rise up and defeat the bourgeoisie, establishing an egalitarian society that does not prey on the lower classes. In the words of Spongebob, “I’m ready.” Are you?

Man I am too fucking high for this what

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