What’s the Real Lesson?

Here’s something that happens to ADHD children a lot:  Getting pushed beyond their limits by accident. Here’s how it works and why it’s so bad.

Child says, “I can’t do this.”

Adult (teacher or parent) does not believe it, because Adult has seen Child do things that Adult considers more difficult, and Child is too young to properly articulate why the task is difficult.

Adult decides that the problem is something other than true inability, like laziness, lack of self-confidence, stubbornness, or lack of motivation.

Adult applies motivation in the form of harsher and harsher scoldings and punishments. Child becomes horribly distressed by these punishments. Finally, the negative emotions produce a wave of adrenaline that temporarily repairs the neurotransmitter deficits caused by ADHD, and Child manages to do the task, nearly dropping from relief when it’s finally done.

The lesson Adult takes away is that Child was able to do it all along, the task was quite reasonable, and Child just wasn’t trying hard enough. Now, surely Child has mastered the task and learned the value of simply following instructions the first time.

The lessons Child takes away? Well, it varies, but it might be:

-How to do the task while in a state of extreme panic, which does NOT easily translate into doing the task when calm.

-Using emergency fight-or-flight overdrive to deal with normal daily problems is reasonable and even expected.

-It’s not acceptable to refuse tasks, no matter how difficult or potentially harmful.

-Asking for help does not result in getting useful help.

I’m now in my 30’s, trying to overcome chronic depression, and one major barrier is that, thanks to the constant unreasonable demands placed on me as a child, I never had the chance to develop actual healthy techniques for getting stuff done. At 19, I finally learned to write without panic, but I still need to rely on my adrenaline addiction for simple things like making phone calls, tidying the house, and paying bills. Sometimes, I do mean things to myself to generate the adrenaline rush, because there’s no one else around to punish me.

But hey, at least I didn’t get those terrible drugs, right? That might have had nasty side effects.

#I wonder if this might potentially apply to people with autism as well?#because I haven’t been diagnosed with adhd but MAN do I fee this#and like I had the situation a lot of people went through#breezed through elementary and high school and in gifted and talented#but then college happened and I was LOST

There’s a lot of overlap between ADHD traits and autism traits.  Whether you meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, too, I have no idea (because I’m a random person on the Internet), but you might find ADHD resources helpful in figuring out your life challenges. A lot of “help” for executive function skills comes from neurotypicals who are naturally good at it and lack insight into people who aren’t, which makes it spectacularly useless to the people who actually need it.

Well shit this explains so much about me

Yes, I am autistic without ADHD, and this is…how a lot of things happened to me.  I’m an adrenaline addict, too, and this is why.

And I’m not going to say that that mode of operation doesn’t have its uses.  But it is a really, really counterproductive way to teach kids how to take the time and focus to learn to do something well and sustainably.

It can also make kids look lazy who aren’t, because you start to learn that you’re only good at things if you can do them PERFECTLY, IMMEDIATELY, RIGHT NOW and you don’t learn how to work through your anxiety and processing difficulties to actually practice and understand something.

i thought you guys would find this thread i wrote interesting

this is a very real problem! and unfortunately, something similar happens to people of color and adults as well. always try and tie it down to something else when, in fact, the disorder has been clearly present the whole time. it’s so damaging.  newsflash: adhd is real and everyone can have it! 

things I wish autism research actually tried to figure out:

but no it’s always “how do we train the animals to be something they’re not” or “but what made you this way??” or “Time To Find A Cure”

Please, for heaven’s sake, study the gastrointestinal stuff! Because I’ve been to several doctors and none of them know what to do about my constant indigestion!

Oops, wrong blog!

Hi, I’m an autistic neuroscience and psychology student, and I’m actually looking into some of this stuff right now! (Because, um, hello? Why don’t we get some actual autistic people studying autism? We have brains.) Now, I’m just an undergrad, so I definitely don’t know everything, but I actually found a report recently on the gastrointestinal stuff, which said that it’s actually a sensory thing! Basically, a lot of autistics (myself included, you’re not alone), are hyposensitive to interoception- sensory information from internal organs. So basically, our bodies are like “idk what’s happening down there”, which screws up our automatic responses to sensory stimuli in that area (such as when our internal organs are being stretched and should be in pain but aren’t). Which is why I, for example, may go to the bathroom less than others and not know when I’m feeling hungry. This would also cause a lot of pain as stuff builds up in there. Or at least from what I gather.

I think there are also several reports on how gut bacteria differ in autistic populations. I don’t know much about that yet, but that sounds pretty cool and like a very likely cause of gastrointestinal problems!

(If I’m wrong about anything or you have something to add, go for it.)

To all the self-diagnosed autistic people...

You’ve done your research. A lot of it. Like a lot, a lot. You’ve studied autism thoroughly and have found yourself in what you’ve learned. You’ve had so many aha! moments and moments where it seemed like everything clicked into place. 

You’ve taken your time. You’ve analyzed yourself extensively, reflecting over so many experiences you’ve had. You’ve spent so much time considering whether or not autism fits your experiences or if it might be something else. 

I know the doubts that crop up. Sometimes these doubts are uninvited, invading your mind like a parasite that eats away at your thoughts until you’re consumed with self-doubt. Sometimes these doubts are brought about by others questioning you or invalidating you. Their words echoing in your mind until that’s all you can hear. 

So many of us, whether clinically diagnosed or self-diagnosed, doubt ourselves from time to time. Your doubts don’t define you or mean that you aren’t valid. These doubts are the ableism we all internalize from this world. We’re constantly told that we can’t be autistic because of X, whether it’s because we have friends or can speak or can hold a job or can make eye contact or any other untrue reason. 

Remember that no one autistic person has every trait. We are each unique individuals with unique mixes of traits. Just because you’re different from another autistic person you know doesn’t mean you aren’t autistic. We are each beautifully different and that’s wonderful. 

Trust yourself. Trust the research you’ve done. Trust the time you have spent. Trust your self-analysis and self-reflection. If you know that you are autistic, that’s what truly matters. A clinical diagnosis may grant access to accommodations or services, but, for many, it’s not necessary. Self-diagnosis grants us access to our community and resources to help us live better lives and self-understanding that can radically change how we live. 

Trust in yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself. 

me: hey how long is this thing going to last

someone: haha you just want to know when you’re off the hook

me: hah

me: (actually i just need to allocate the right expectations and backlog of energy and make sure the rest of my day falls in good accordance with it so that i don’t feel time-crunched and propel myself into a hysteria because if i don’t know how long this thing lasts or when it ends i can’t possibly know when literally anything else starts and my entire life becomes an unraveled realm of anarchy with no rhyme or reason and how is that not terrifying to you)

me: hey how long will this take

someone: oh like twenty minutes

me: ok

*an hour later*

me: *clinging to every learned social skill i can think of with the desperate hope my distress and exhaustion doesn’t show*

someone: hey we’re almost done don’t be so crabby

me: *smiling* *internally screaming at this SENSELESS CHAOS*

someone: hey do you want to do [involving time-consuming thing]

me: hey that sounds fun! when were you thinking?

someone: oh we’re doing it right now

me: oh. like. now-now? like right now. like you want me to stop what i’m doing and get up and do this thing with you, suddenly, with thirty seconds of warning. now. like this second. immediately. now?

Any NT/mentally healthy people who would like a model of the SOME (because there are always others depending on the circumstances!) correct responses: 

1. “How long is this gonna last?” “The dinner’s from now till seven, and then there’s, like, deserts and Wandering Around Talking to people around nine. The venue is DEFINITELY kicking us out by 930.”

VARIATION: “How long is this gonna last?” “I honestly have no idea - you have a time limit I need to keep in mind?

2. “How long will this take?” “Oh like twenty minutes.” *AN HOUR LATER* “Okay I swear we’re almost done - we need to drop you at home after, or should we go get a coffee or just sit in the car?” [insert appropriate wind-down or rest activity for your friend here]

VARIATION: *after twenty minutes* “Shit, this is taking longer than I meant it to - you want to go sit somewhere and wait for me? Sorry.” 

3. “Hey, I know this is super last-minute, but we’re going to go do [involving time-consuming thing] - you up for it?” [and then accept “no” if the person says it and maybe try arranging a PRE-PLANNED thing for some future date so that it doesn’t feel like, if they’re not up for dropping and running, they don’t count]

VARIATION: “Heeey we just decided we want to go [involving time-consuming thing] - would you be up for it if we came to pick you up in like 30 minutes?” (Otherwise known as “if it’s not THAT time-sensitive, maybe give a buffer). 

Because here’s the thing: for some people (like, oh, me) that wrench of re-planning around a sudden emergency is <i>actually painful</i>; when it isn’t painful, it’s sort of like making jumping from a huge height not-painful - you might be able to do it, but it’s super physically demanding and you’ll pay a cost for it later. Sometimes it’s worth it, but you can’t do it EVERY DAY, and it adds a definite element of Not Fun to supposedly fun things. 

Think like if every single time someone did that to you, the cost to going was standing very still while someone blasted a full-volume vuvuzela RIGHT into your ear for two minutes. That’s EVERY TIME in a day that plans suddenly change, that massive uncertainty enters the question, whatever: every single time, two minutes of FULL-VOLUME VUVUZELA MUSIC RIGHT IN YOUR EAR. 

Like yeah: you’re not going to die. You CAN deal with it, if you’ve gotta. But now imagine that’s already happened three times that day due to 1. your bus was ten minutes late (throwing the whole day into disorder: VUVUZELA MUSIC TWO MINUTES RIGHT IN YOUR EAR), 2. meeting that was supposed to be twenty-minutes turned into two hours (VUVUZELA BLAST TWO MINUTES RIGHT IN YOUR EAR) and then 3. it turned out something you had to have for your work project was out of stock so instead of doing what you needed to do you had to spend an hour wrangling a totally unfamiliar ordering and inventory system and reworking the next two weeks schedule and then probably doing something TOTALLY DIFFERENT that you were going to do next week that now you can’t do next week because you have to do this thing next week (VUVUZELA BLAST TWENTY MINUTES BECAUSE FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR EAR). 

And now your friend wants you to go out to the bar! Right now! And you like your friend. You do. You even like going to the bar with your friend. 

But you cannot. handle. another. fucking. vuvuzela. screaming. in your. ear. 

So you say no. 

And your friend gets mad. 

Which is like another screaming vuvuzela in your ear AS WELL AS your friend being mad at you. 

So there is no winning. 

And this is why people with these difficulties tend to self-isolate! Because while we’re still utterly fucking lonely and want people, there is only so much fucking metaphorical vuvuzela music we can TAKE. 

(One can take this metaphor even a bit further because you know what some days you end up so surface-inured to the vuvuzela blasts that you don’t THINK they’re getting to you anymore until a) you turn around and MURDER THE VUVUZELA PLAYER and then everyone gets Upset at you, or b) you suddenly find a space where there are no vuvuzelas and burst into tears because it’s so fucking nice omg how. 

Sometimes you even then have to leave that place, because you’re so USED to being hit with RANDOM BLASTS FROM VUVUZELAS that places where there don’t seem to BE any just make you fucked up and paranoid because you can’t stop expecting it but because you can’t see where it would come from your paranoid hindbrain keeps thinking “but that just means they’re hiding REALLY WELL and we have to be MORE CAREFUL” until it gets to a point where you’d rather have your eardrums broken by the noise PREDICTABLY once a week than wait in anticipation. 

Which is fucked up because you would actually MOST like to just … not be screamed at by vuvuzelas but when they just go away you don’t get to enjoy the freedom you just get wound up waiting for the next blast. And this is why we do something called seeking negative stimulation, or neg-stimming.) 

Also, this is why it’s super important to be honest about your plans and expectations.

I have had more than one person intentionally downplay the time-frames and other aspects of events, even to the very nature of the event, because they don’t trust that my avoidance of uncertain scheduling and certain kinds of social situations is based in a genuine prioritisation of my own, known, needs.  They just think if they can trick me into those situations I’ll magically discover I like them. 

It’s called “taking you out of yourself” or “bringing you out of your shell”.

Some notable examples have included being invited to dinner only to find it’s actually a party.  Being told a diversion from plans would take “about an hour” when the person saying that knows full well that just driving to the diversion would take most of that time.  Being told that dinner would be around 5 when the cooking doesn’t even start until an hour after that.  Inviting me around for a quiet visit and then springing a pretend “spontaneous” day trip on me in the hopes I will suddenly learn to love spontaneous plan changes.  And my all-time favourite Worst Incident Ever:

Being invited to visit a relative.  Arriving at their house at the arranged time and letting ourselves in to find no one home, and then getting a call from them to their own home phone to say they were “just at that community centre around the corner enjoying a boot sale (yard sale in the US?) and would I like to join them?  Internally doing the maths that a boot sale is a pleasant, low-stakes situation that is easy to dip into spontaneously because there’s no reason we couldn’t leave when we were ready and.  Arriving at the building to discover they actually meant “hi, I’m running a political fundraising boot sale this weekend and wanted volunteers to set up AND RUN the stalls and now you’re here I can give you a list of jobs and force you into social situations with total strangers that also involve money and you have no idea how long this is supposed to last”.

I am not going to get annoyed if you say “this diversion I want to take in the middle of our plans will probably take about 3 hours out of the day”.  I will be re-working my plans for the day around the timing you give me, and will be glad to be able to ensure I can, for example, pick up the groceries in the morning instead of waiting until the afternoon since the diversion will likely mean the shops will be shut.  I may decline to take part in the diversion if it is important that I be able to complete my original plans for the day, but I should fucking well have the right to make that choice.

Yes, this. 

People don’t do this to me, I think because anyone who talks to me for five minutes becomes pretty sure that if you DO do this to me, there is a significant chance I will outright walk away and go home, and if for some reason I choose not to do that we WILL be having a DIRECT conversation about this that will involve me telling you that if you ever DO do this again, that’s it, we’re done. 

But I have come to be able to do this out of years of just going you know what? Yes. I am the Difficult, Asocial Bitch. That’s me. You are correct. IF this is beyond your ability to handle, please just … save us both time and energy. 

This is not something that everyone is capable of doing! But just because they can’t tell you off - and in fact MORESO IN THAT CASE - doesn’t make it a NOT shitty thing to do. 

I feel like these scenarios describe unhealthy relationships, tbh, and author(s) SHOULD be saying no/be displeased being treated this way. Not downplaying extra efforts required in this examples, but I don’t think people scheduling inappropriately is ever considered ok?

Oh I don’t disagree, but bluntly: it’s incredibly normalized in a LOT of cases. It’s sort of like how tickling someone who doesn’t want to be tickled SHOULD be unthinkable on basic Common Fucking Sense, and yet remains a common human-interaction dynamic that you often get happening with people you’d THINK would know better, and have them sulking and Upset. See also: most gender-based dynamics period.

It is disgustingly normalized and if you do anything but happily go along with such crap then you’re the bad guy. Imo that would be fine if only it would discourage from future repeats. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

I have such a tremendous pet peeve about being told “Dinner is at 7:00!” and then I get there and … nobody has started cooking.

For me, a hungry and already anxious person who has done the math to determine that I have exactly 1.5 hours of battery to deal with this situation, when I walk in the door and am basically told I will need to pull at least another hour out of thin air, I get even more anxious because I don’t know how long it will be before I can just go home again and it’s like drinking acid.

And then I feel like an asshole because people invited me to their house to feed me, a freeloading loser, and I’m annoyed because this magical free food is not exactly on time.  I’m an ingrate!

When it’s not about that. It’s about me trying to allocate my mental/emotional resources and having that suddenly upset in a way that can throw me so off-kilter the next couple of days might be affected, too.

Socialization under those circumstances often just isn’t worth it.

I stay home a lot.

Reblogging because I think this is super helpful 

!!!!! PSA that the hyperactive stuff on here (always needing to Do Something, ccaann’‘tt bbee bboorreed, etc) can wind up masked almost totally by maladaptive daydreaming, which, when you think about it, is actually a marvelous way to begin INSTANTLY doing something interesting without even having to get up and go somewhere else. Once you internalize your need for stimulation and start watchin’ the ol’ headmovies, you might LOOK like a very patient person who has no trouble sitting still when it’s required or staying on-task for extended periods of time despite setbacks and delays, but only from the outside. Inside there are tabs open with music videos and etc. playing, and you’re probably glancing back at reality only when necessary. You might look at sensation-seeking symptoms like hyperactivity and think “can’t relate” when, really, you’re just ready to return to your interior hyperactivity at a moment’s notice. @ everybody who can’t just slip out of reality when boredom threatens and who has to instead find something to entertain themselves with irl, my heart goes out to you and everyone around you because holy fuck

I wonder how many writers and other creatives are ADHD. I mean, that whole “Occupy the brain with invented narratives, characters, dialogue, and wotld-building” thing was my refuge as a child, and has become my happy place as an adult.

I’d write all day, every day, if I could arrange my life for that. Coping technique turned profession. Unfortunately, the Day Jobbe sucks up most of my creative energy, alas.

Others out there like me?

I had a teacher in high school who pulled me aside one day and thanked me for being so attentive in class, and all I could think was, “bitch I am on year three of a Harry Potter OC fanfic, I have not heard a single word you’ve said in weeks.” So, yeah, maybe.

(A couple years ago I turned up positive on an ADHD screening, but I wasn’t jittery and I don’t forget appointments so my therapist said nah, probably not. But I’m finally getting my anemia treated, and I’m starting to wonder if maybe ADHD comorbid with depression and iron deficiency, compensated for by years of refining my note-taking and planner systems, doesn’t explain an awful lot.)

Just so you know, ADHD and ADD are no longer separate diagnoses- there’s just ADHD, and subtypes (primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive, combined). That means there’s tons of us ADHD people who aren’t hyper physically and may even struggle with fatigue and brain fog pretty badly. 

Some more exciting ADHD things include:

- I have lost this thing. When did I lose it? Where did I lose it? Did I ever have it in the first place?

- ‘I’m calling because you missed yo-’ FUCK

- the overwhelming need to be stimulated combined with getting tired of everything quickly and lacking physical energy/ the ability to concentrate 

- saying offensive or inappropriate things and then when people are like ‘what are you thinking?’ being like ‘i honestly could not tell you’

- your brain is like one of those shopfront windows with all the TVs playing different channels. at least one of them is a song.

- ‘okay you can’t leave the exam hall until 1PM, so if you finish early you’ll just have to sit there’ haha death would be kinder

- poor emotional regulation. feelings are Very Hard To Handle By Yourself and you might break things when angry, hurt yourself when sad etc

- step one: join club or society. step two: learn everything there is and volunteer for as much responsibility as possible. step three: lose interest completely and ghost or quit, ignoring desperate/confused emails and hating yourself

- “something i thought has distressed me, but i can’t remember what. let me sit down and unpack the last five minutes of mental conversation.”

Hi Anon,

I really don’t think people who aren’t Autistic or who don’t struggle with sensory issues understand that when it comes to certain stimuli, those things provoke actual feelings of pain, nausea, disgust, discomfort, etc for people that are Autistic/have sensory processing disorder.

Take “picky eating.” I was labelled a “picky eater” even as a little toddler. I couldn’t eat sauce, tomatoes, or have my food touching other foods. People said stuff like “She’ll grow out of it” or “She’ll eat it if she’s actually hungry” or “Tastebuds change; she’ll like it when she’s older!“ 

But the fact was, if it was a food I couldn’t eat, I literally couldn’t eat it. I’d try to eat lasagna and start crying, and gagging, and I’d have to spit it out. Guess what? I didn’t “eat when I was hungry” if it was one of those foods, I just didn’t eat. This was especially an issue when I started going to school and daycare (I eventually got a note from my doctors that detailed my Autism diagnosis and sensory problems, so that the local kids center would provide me with alternative meals. They treated it the same way they did with kids with allergies, basically.) 

Also, I didn’t “grow out of it.” I still cannot eat tomatos, sauces, and most mixed food dishes. Because I just can’t even make my mouth chew and swallow without gagging and spitting the food out. Just a couple months ago I went to grab some chicken wraps from the local taco place, and I asked specifically that they hold the sauce. But they didn’t, so when I took a bite I got a mouthful of pain and chucked it right into my napkin (gross, I know. I’m making a point here though.)

So when Autistic people, or anyone with a sensory processing related disorder, tells you that they cannot handle something-whether that means being touched, wearing certain clothes, being around noise, or eating certain foods-remember what I just said. That’s how it feels, when people willfully ignore our reminders and warnings about our stimuli and triggers. That’s what you’re doing when you touch someone when they tell you it hurts them, or make them wear that suit or outfit, or put sauce on their food when they politely ask you not to. Granted, overload is different and presents differently in everyone, but bottom line-you’re choosing to disrespect someone’s boundaries, and their medical issues, and you are hurting them when you force certain stimuli on them after they’ve asked you to stop. Just respect people, and don’t shame people for not being able to handle or do the same stuff other people can. 

Are you a “None of my foods can touch” autistic or a “mix everything into one big Food Pile” autistic?

i’m a “who gives a shit whether or not my food’s touching it’s not like my autism is stopping me from eating rice mixed with whatever i just cooked” autistic.

NOT ALL AUTISTICS FIT INTO THOSE BOXES FFS DON’T FUCKING ASSUME THAT BECAUSE I’M AUTISTIC I DON’T WANT MY FOOD TO TOUCH EVERYTHING OR I WANT ALL MY FOOD IN A HUGE PILE BEFORE I EAT

CAN EVERYONE JUST STOP ASSUMING ALL AUTISTIC PEOPLE ARE THE SAME BECAUSE WE’RE NOT

i appreciate the meme it’s just i’m tired of “are you X or are you Y?” type posts

that shit drives me nuts and i think because i saw this without much of a context i sorta just got worked up and made the assumption

It's chill. We're all just trying to have a good time here.

Since we apparently need a reminder:

Nonverbal autistics deserve to exist for their own sake, not because other autistics may be verbal.

Autistics who need daily care deserve to exist for their own sake, not because most autistics can live independently.

Autistics with intellectual disabilities deserve to exist for their own sake, not because some autistics are considered geniuses.

Verbal, “gifted,” independent autistics aren’t a consolation prize for putting up with “severely” autistic people.

Autistic people do not need to buy their continued existence with potential Einsteins and Mozarts.

Autistic people deserve to exist in their own right just as they are.

when you're autistic but you still wanna be cool online

- when ur reblogging a post about your special interest and ur trying to decide whether or not infodumping and screaming in all caps in the tags would be annoying

- “am i close enough with this person to use u instead of you? do i even need to wait? can i use “u” with strangers??”

- “you’ll have to forgive me for this…” no that sounds way too formal what’s the Normal way to phrase it?

-“is this a situation where proper grammar and spelling is necessary?”

- “i’m feeling an emotion ?? what do people do when they feel an emotion? swear??? yeah i can do that what’s the right swear word to use in this context?”

- when you’re re-reading a post before you post it and find words like “therefore” and u gotta rewrite the whole thing

- when your grammar is both too formal and too casual and ur not sure if what u said was phrased awkwardly

- when you run out of words to say so you respond to everything with ‘aaaaaa’

- “was that a nice thing to say???? did that seem blunt or rude? how do i tell?? i don’t want them to think i hate them. best to be overly positive just to be sure”

- typin how you talk in real life…… so there are fuckin ellipses everywhere……… cause you pause a lot. and then you feel weird about it.

- “is this person being rude or am i misinterpreting it? best to just not respond at all”

why are people angry about fidget toys becoming mainstream?

surely that is a good thing??

It definitely is a good thing but I think the problem is nt ppl go on about how cute and quirky things like fidget cubes and slime videos are but they freak out at stimming that isn’t “cute.” It’s just hypocritical and annoying.

yeah, that’s definitely a fair point. but i feel like then people should be angry at the people who disrepect stimming that isn’t “cute”, or try to educate people about that, rather than to just be rant about how “bad” it is that stimming is becoming more mainstream?

like the amount of posts i’ve seen of people whining about how common stim toys are now just… confuse me. because i want stim toys to be more common. and i was pretty sure that other people felt the same way

Oh no, I agree with you. It's great to see them and it's a great way to start a conversation about neurodivergency. I haven't seen anyone actually complain about the stim toys? Mostly I've just seen complaints about the ignorance. I think you were talking about something completely different than what I've seen. My bad!

“We need a cure for autism!”

Well you will never get it, no matter your stance on the subject. Autism is likely genetic and studies show that by six months of age there are already detectable changes in the brain that predict an autism diagnosis later in life. So even though we don’t know what autism is, it’s definitely something you’re born with and it is impossible to change that after the baby is born. Nothing will ever turn an autistic person who is alive into an allistic person. You can’t rewrite their entire brain anatomy.

So why do Autism Speaks talk of “the cure”? What they mean by cure is prenatal screening that will allow parents to abort fetuses with certain traits or genes. It means stopping autistic people from being born. It means getting rid of us even before a fetus develops a brain. It means that from their point of view not ever being alive (so essentially death) is better than existence as an autistic person.

That’s what you are saying when you’re advocating for a cure. “I wish you were never born”. “I wish your parents would have aborted you before you developed into a person”. “I think your existence is worse than death”. “I think you would be better off dead”. That is your message. That is your opinion.

Think about that next time you talk about a cure for autism.

Not so commonly talked about/Atypical Autism Traits

Autism has so many traits and manifestations that aren’t commonly discussed or talked about! Frequently, doctors ignore the atypical/”uncommon” traits dismissing and not writing or educating others about them. A lot of doctors have set definitions of autism that aren’t really representative of the autistic community as a whole. Atypical traits in actuality are more common and prevalent than stereotypical ones they just often go ignored therefore less people know about them.

Also, “professionals” often create lists saying atypical traits are gender specific and use functioning disgusting labels to invalidate traits as well as experiences. Autism traits are not different for “boys” or “girls.”. There is a lot of transphobia, misogyny, intersexism, racism, ableism as well as various other forms of oppression in the psychaitric field especially in regards to autism. The sources below do contain unnecessary functioning labels and gendering. Please ignore that and know autism traits aren’t gender specific and that there is no such thing as “severe” and “mild” autism. Autism is a spectrum and every single autistic person manifests autism differently.

Additionally, some traits aren’t just specific to autism but are also traits of various other neurodivergences as well as common among neurotypicals.  

Keep reading

Julia, a Muppet with autism, makes her debut appearance on Sesame Street. 

It’s great that Sesame Street has designed a character with autism. I think the character will help kids understand autism in a better way and encourage acceptance. Adults can try and explain things like autism to a child, but it can be difficult. I grew up with Sesame Street, I’m glad the show is still helping kids learn and grow! Media representation always matters, thank you Sesame Street for still teaching us.

Guys, please go check this out:

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/ponateoe

Hi hi! My name is Nate, and I run a lil blog on Tumblr called https://ponateoe.tumblr.com/ in which I post about being autistic, Lord of the Rings, and anything that catches my interest!

As you probably know by now, I have autism.

It’s affected my day to day life for as long as I can remember, and due to it, I need different facilities to function well.

Unfortunately, I do not have the best financial circumstances. I currently live in a Two Bedroom Flat with my Brother, Father, and Step-Mother (that’s a lot of people!). My Father is the only one who works, and he’s self-employed. However, my father is also autistic, meaning that some days he can’t work.

Worry not! We do manage to get by! But, only just; we don’t have the funds for the resources to help me in this world.

So, if you can, please donate just a little to help us build a safe bedroom for me, get a small collection of stim toys for when I have to leave the house, sensory items to put in mine and my fathers sensory room.

Any donation is welcome, even just a few pence! Also, as a thank you, if you donate to this cause, head over to my Tumblr (it’s open to anyone) and send me an anon with your favourite colour and I’ll make you a stimboard!!!

Bye bye,

Nate.

I’m just so tired of autistic children’s right to privacy being completely disregarded. I know this has been said many times before, but when are people going to start taking notice? To show kids on film having meltdowns, self-injuring, having adults reveal their personal information and talk about how hard they are to deal with as if they aren’t even there…how the fuck can anyone defend that?!

(I was going to make this a fancy proper post of its own, but I’m tired and not wording things properly. Hope you don’t mind if I tack on a list here instead.)

Things you should not share online if you respect your autistic child’s privacy:

It does not matter how old your child is, whether they use the internet, or whether they know you have posted these things.

Their disability does not mean they are less deserving of privacy than other people are.