Reblog if you're a partially muscled skeleton screaming for 30 seconds by the perimeter fence on November 14th

Who is this diva?

My parents have a “Festivus” party every year and this year I found this sign on their bedroom door

certified door post

He had 1 job

Kitty!... long leg kitty!.. uh, creechur?... OUPPY

I WAS NOT FUCKING PREPARED

I wanna pet a hyena so bad but that would not end well for anyone.

u can trust me pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls

Woaw... kittydogy hi patting uour head :)

GOT U ARHRHRHEHEHEGRHEHEHGRH

ARRRGGHHH MY BONES

worst part about the Internet is knowing that there are finally people who both match and complement your freak. the nearest one is 2,318.4 miles away and your time zones are awkward

i’m losing my mind

STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction

oh

Ya gotta have

some of u should have an OnlyClowns account

what the fuck do you think a tumblr is

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

he would not say that.

I was there when he said it actually

"oh yeah even if your opponent has an unexpected advantage that completely turns the tides of battle (you thought they were unarmed when they aren't) you shook totally just keep going with your current plan, otherwise you're a coward"

he would not say that.

you're just afraid of a big thick girlcock

Whether Sun Tzu would be into girldick is completely orthogonal to whether he would give bullshit bravado advice that will get you killed. He's the "logistics win wars" guy.

His ladycock advice would be more like "The wise general chooses an adversary who uses familiar techniques."

there is a lot we will forgive for girlcock on this site but misconstruing Sun Tzu is NOT on that list

I can tell we watch a few too many cooking shows at home, because my eight year old told me "the ginger isn't really coming through in this salmon". In his defense, he was right, but at the time I didn't appreciate it.

this part of stevie nicks’ interview with rolling stone is taking me out

this entry in a ‘what would happen if the internet went down tomorrow’ contest has been making me laugh since 2009

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

I’ve seen this post easily 12 times now and EVERY TIME it’s just a different cat looking at a different door. 

This charming man

I took these just over a week before Bear passed away. Today is 6 weeks since we said goodbye. I don't think a day has gone by since then that I haven't seen this in my activity being liked or reblogged. I know one day they will stop and this won't get anymore notes. But until then thank you everyone for keeping Bear's memory alive ⭐️