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I Read Into Things

@amwritingmeta / amwritingmeta.tumblr.com

Scary Sexy Supernatural. (look it up)
Mostly SPN/Destiel stuff. Some Kinnporsche. A touch of KE. Writer/editor. She/her.
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[The Winchesters finale spoilers]

[first impression]

Speaking of happy endings…

John and Mary: complete and living together in Heaven.

Sam and blurry wife AKA EILEEN (thank you very much): married, raising a family together on Earth.

So which part of Dean’s “family” had an unhappy ending?

(yes I have legit been ugly crying)

Because all I can see now is how Dean went on that drive, skipping between worlds, looking for a happy ending for him and Cas.

No. Let’s say that again. Slowly.

Dean Winchester…

…got into Baby in Heaven…

…started driving, knowing Cas was free of the Empty and somewhere in Heaven with Jack…

…Dean thinking for sure Cas will show…

…right?…

…and when Cas didn’t…

…Dean was like well That Sucks…

…and went universe hopping to see if another world might have a different ending for them so that he could be reassured that it wasn’t over yet…

Ummmmmm. WHAT??

Where the hell are you, Castiel??? Your man is in pain!!! Also, Dean, the last time Cas spent a year as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent all you had to do was pray!! (and have a plot related prop to entice him with but that was a secondary reason and you KNOW IT) Stop avoiding having the talk!!! Omfg with these two!!!

I’m still processing. I’m in such shock and awe I keep oscillating between the two.

And Jensen singing: Looking out over the water/see as far as the eye can see/and I live and die another day to find you there/where did you go when I needed you?/you were gone and you left me all alone/but you were never alone, you told me/but here I sit with you on this stage in Rome

Don’t.

Don’t even talk to me.

Don’t look at me don’t talk to me.

Jensen literally went: Dean dies and then drives around Heaven finding that peace when he’s done while waiting for his brother and what? That’s it? Not even a proper nod to the greatest love story ever told??

NOT ON MY WATCH.

#the Winchesters finale#two years of repressed emotions just bubbling to the surface#MY HEART MY HEART#jensen danneel robbie MY LIFE#is yours#(okay maybe not literally but)#OMFGGGGG#the winchesters spoilers#deancas#destiel
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babygirlwolverine

the best headcanon is dean just absolutely unable to function over how hot he thinks cas is. like, dean is over here like, “my devastatingly handsome friend” and “you’re looking good” and “the last person who looked at me like that, i got laid” and a million other examples. literally dean cannot control himself around cas. he’s over here making it painfully obvious that he’s into cas and is very obviously flirting with him, and that he thinks cas is the hottest, most attractive, sexiest, most handsome man he’s ever seen…. and cas is still obliviously unaware that dean has been flirting with him this WHOLE DAMN TIME

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amwritingmeta

no no that is not a headcanon—that is actual canonical text. sure we read it how we want but this is how dean literally behaves with cas. don’t forget the epic parallel between how he flirts with jo on “the last night of their lives” and how he flirts with cas when they’re most likely about to die at the hands of raphael. dean constantly tests the waters in order to have the responsibility of the outcome taken out of his hands by the chance that cas will flirt back because dean is terrified. of rejection. of happiness. of everything in between. because good things don’t last and he can’t risk losing cas the same way he loses everything else which is why he keeps losing cas. because he has to face the fear and learn the lesson and accept that he deserves to be happy. and he finally does this in 15x19 and that’s why cas was in his heaven waiting for him in the finale. learn the narrative lesson=be rewarded for it. anyway this is agreement with your assessment that cas makes dean’s heart want to beat out of his chest whenever they’re close to each other. and that cas is unaware of the flirting. but to me that’s text/subtext that is intentionally influencing the character progression and how these two relate themselves to each other which in turn deeply influences the choices they make which in turn influences the story progression as a whole. aka *chef’s kiss*

#just saying#:)#destiel#spn meta#(damn it’s been a while)
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thinking-destiel-thoughts

Thinking about how Cas had to kill Dean over a thousand times. Just Dean. Not Sam, never Sam.

Thinking about how dead in the eyes Cas was when Naomi told him he succeeded and was ready for the real thing.

Thinking about how Dean never knew that part of what was done to Cas in Heaven involved him have to kill Dean thousands of times.

Thinking about how the angels didn’t know that Dean would beg Cas to be okay; they thought he’d beg for his life. But Dean begged for Cas to be back in his life instead.

Thinking about how Dean said “I need you” and Cas dropped the blade, but they both pretended not to know what broke mind control.

Thinking about how the writers thought “I need you” was more Bro Pal than “I love you”.

Thinking about how Sam is asking Dean if he’s okay after Cas dinged him up pretty good. Asking about his feelings because he knows Cas physically healed Dean, but that there’s a lot of unsaid crap there.

#good thinking#destiel
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spn-lesbian
Cas, drunkenly sobbing: and I keep trying to make Dean understand that I’m in love with him but he’s so oblivious and never understands it
Dean: when did you meet someone else named Dean?
#deaded#destiel
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Friendly Nov 5th reminder: The theme in 15x18 was loss (hence the title Despair). This theme was underlined through the motif Berens chose, where he tied the theme of loss specifically to despairing over the sudden, traumatic loss of the person you are in love with. Romantically.

I’ll repeat that for the nosebleed section: the theme of loss in 15x18 is specifically stated through the repeated narrative motif of a character in love losing the one they are in love with.

This motif was established with Charlie losing Stevie and was furthered around the midpoint by Sam losing Eileen. Berens could have left the motif as a bookend, but he went one step further and had two deep losses in the narrative to create foreshadowing through this motif for the gut punch of the final loss. Why? I would assume because he really wanted those looking for it to know beyond a doubt that this narrative choice was intentional. And that it served a deeper purpose than simply creating a mirror moment of people losing each other.

(and yes I’m speaking for Berens and I shouldn’t but the writer/screenwriter/editor in me cannot fathom that this choice wasn’t intentional so I’m leaning on that as the basis of my assumption)

Again: the theme of loss in 15x18 is specifically stated through the repeated narrative motif of a character in love losing the one they are in love with.

And why did Berens choose a freshly in love and happy couple and then another not so freshly but equally narratively stated to be in love couple to tear apart in order to explore the theme of loss?

Because our final pair weren’t stated to be in love with each other because they couldn’t be outright stated. And yes it will hurt forfuckingever that they weren’t outright stated, but Berens still gave us an unequivocal statement through this intentional and deeply resonating motif. Because through it, he told us that Dean loves Cas back.

Charlie was in love with Stevie and was the one left to deal with the loss. Sam was in love with Eileen and was left to deal with the loss. So, it’s not a leap to assume we’re meant to understand that the person sitting with his head in his hands and having to deal with his loss is not simply dealing with the loss of his best friend (though that too) but the loss of the person he is in love with.

Dean might not have said the words, but Berens signalled Dean’s true feelings to us very loudly and very clearly.

I’ll always be grateful for that.

Happy 5th, lovelies!!

#destiel#deancas#spn meta#spn 15x18#dean winchester#cas#robert berens#nov 5th#it’s a love story#the greatest love story ever told
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cobbbvanth

first confession (4.07)  —  last confession (15.18)

Confession is good for the soul, they say. I’d imagine this is true. But my sins were too convoluted. And from the little I understand — too damning.
#ow#destiel#nov 5th
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