lol

Who Do You Love

Many of us, like hounds with a scent, have honed in on that one part of the Qstiel line: “I know who you love…” But there’s a problem with taking a single line out of context: it’s easy to mold it into whatever we want to believe. Non-shippers can make a convincing argument that that one line is about Cas’ platonic love for several people just as easily as a shipper can argue that line is about singular and romantic love.  No matter who you are, what you believe, we HAVE to rewind and look at the FULL CONTEXT. And the full context is whittled down to romantic love. From what we know from canon and from the symbolism, we can easily surmise that Qstiel is referring to a singular and romantic love. 

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CAS: SAM AND DEAN NEED ME.

Qstiel: “Oh save it.”                           Qstiel is calling bullshit. What has the narrative of the show been trying to define? Singular versus plural. Romantic versus platonic. And here’s Cas using the excuse that the brothers, as a unit, need him in order to get Qstiel to send him back home. .             Qstiel wants Cas to stop lying to himself. This isn’t about Sam. And Cas has no idea if he’s needed. Now Cas does want to be wanted, but only by one human (which we gather from the rest of what is said). It’s time for everyone to appropriately use we/I, us/me, them/him.  Qstiel: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips.”             Let me save some time and space: read the lyrics to the song here. Flowers are a major symbolic tool in Supernatural. Out of all the things Qstiel could liken Cas’ thoughts to and it’s about TULIPS. Tulips represent true/perfect love with a mythology based on star-crossed lovers, one of which SAILS OFF A CLIFF… uhhh… Dabb? Is that a toss to: “So what, I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”).             So basically, out of everything Qstiel could glean from Cas’ mind, he picks apart Cas’ ROMANTIC THOUGHTS. He doesn’t pick up on power-hungry Godstiel and use that against Cas. He doesn’t talk about Cas’ life before the Winchesters or evne about being an angel. Nope, he brings up the tulips (true love) and in the next breath: memories and feelings..  Qstiel: “…your memories, your little feelings, yes.             This is the second time he says ‘little’. Little tulips = little feelings. Of course, they’re not actually little, especially to an angel. Feelings are a big deal! Using the word ‘little’ is a mockery to Cas’ love. It’s another way to try and make Cas himself feel stupid for thinking his love could be returned (Qstiel mocks Cas’ intelligence several times).              Listen to Qstiel’s tone, too. He’s airing out Cas’ dirty little secret, in a mocking tone and with exaggerated facial expressions. There is no reason to taunt a platonic love. Qstiel is the bully dangling Cas’ deepest secret to use as a weapon against him. He’s mentally, emotionally and physically abusive to Cas in their scenes.             And I don’t know about you, but when I had a secret love or crush, I kept it close to my heart. I would have been mortified had someone violated my mind and treated me like Cas is being treated here. Any other loves (familial, friendships) aren’t a secret and aren’t taboo. If just friends, just bros, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Qstiel: “I know what you hate. (whispering) I know who you love. What you fear.”

            Qstiel didn’t say, “I know you love them.” He didn’t say, “I know those you love.” Everything in these statements is singular and yet packed with complexity: Cas hates not being with Dean, whom he loves, and he fears his love is unrequited.           Qstiel: “There is nothing for you back there, no.”             What fear is there in love unless it is a love with great risk to one’s heart? How can he get Cas to shut up, lay down and go back to sleep? Why, show him all of the horrible things he has gone through in the name of that (singular) love, of course. Make him believe it is one-sided and not worth fighting to go back to, make him believe his worst fear. Qstiel is lying to Cas here. 

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After Cas mentions Sam and Dean, it isn’t, “Oh I know you love them but they don’t love you back.” No, it was, “You think you can fool me into thinking Sam and Dean need you? We both know the truth because I saw inside your head and I saw the ONE you love but it’s a shame he doesn’t love you back. Just go to sleep and forget about him.”

This entire scene was also another, “You have to choose: us or them,” moment for Cas, which of course is also in the singular. Cas can choose himself or he can choose to go back to Dean.   Just as Cas faced Metatron, Naomi, Hannah and other angels, he also faced Qstiel, a cosmic entity masquerading in his God-given body/image and told him to FUCK OFF.

Despite the shit he’s gone through, despite the pain and sorrow, despite possible unrequited love… he still chooses Dean. His LOVE for Dean PIERCES THE VEIL OF DEATH so he can return to him.

It’s always been about one human. Dean is Cas’ weakness. It is all canon and it’s gorgeous.

I wholeheartedly believe this LOVE Qstiel is speaking of is singular, romantic and about Dean.  ~TheTwistedWillow~ 11.03.2017

@thetwistedwillow

I love you so much right now😏

You know, (I’m a shipper but) I assumed it was about platonic love when I heard it. Because it actually is kind of taboo for an angel to love a human, even if it is totally platonic. It’s sort of taboo for an angel to have feelings at all.. But you make a good point about the phrasing that may have just changed my mind.

If it was just about feeling love at all, well that’s sort of the same note as “little feelings.” It’s not really any more specific, so why even say it? And why say “who you love” and not something like “I know that you love”… I suppose the writer may have just wanted to match it with the other two things in list form but no, that doesn’t really fit either. Because the other two are “what”s and this is a “who” it already doesn’t match. It sticks out! And that makes the “who” of it all sound like the most important part. And why would it matter who he loved if it was about the act of loving? It wouldn’t. Sooo it really must be about *who* he loves. And the only thing I can think of that makes sense to highlight that is that who he loves matters because that person, that “who,” does not love him back. And it’s established that Dean loves Cas, and I think Cas knows Dean thinks of him as a brother. But if dean *thinks of him as a brother*, he doesn’t love him back *romantically*

And that’s the specific point the empty is trying to make.

Angels are SUPPOSED to love humanity as well. It’s the purest form of their mission and orders from God. The ONLY real orders they have from God, and Cas has been the flagship angel over the years to actually obey that order basically unless brainwashed. There should be no shame in loving humanity.

Perhaps there’s shame in having his found family and wanting to belong with them above everything else. But there’s all the rest of the phrasing and context and the history of the show throwing in these teasing comments :P

Thank you, @thetwistedwillow! This is perfect because it highlights the belittling/mocking tone Qstiel uses in these lines. The things that we can be belittled or mocked for are the ones we feel most vulnerable about, that we usually hide. As these excellent readers point out, and as @elizabethrobertajones says above, there’s nothing shameful in loving either the collective “humanity” or (really) the plural “Sam and Dean.” Cas has admitted to both in the past (there’s a less explicit admission in the “humanity” instance than in 12x12 but I think it’s been textually established). But loving *just* Dean, and *not* like a brother? That’s the Cas version of longing “cloaked in shame,” that the Amara-obsession-monster described Dean as having in 11x13. It makes him vulnerable and that’s why a pissy depression monster chooses it as his weak point–and tells him what he’s most afraid of hearing. I’m just going to add on gifs of Misha’s faces during the “I know what you hate, I know who you love, what you fear” exchange because I think they bolster the reading considerably. Like, that face for “I know who you love” look, with the raised eyebrows, wide-eyed, head tilt, is pure mockery because it’s used in an aggressive and sarcastic way. When Qstiel is *talking* about where Cas is most vulnerable (who you love) he *shows* a kind of parody vulnerability to mock him for it just like when Casifer mocked Dean the desperate way Dean says “Cas!” in 11x18.

Essentially Misha-as-the-empty makes a face to say, “You’re in love? Oh that’s adorable! And it should make you afraid because it’s ridiculous to think you’d be loved back.” That’s why Misha-as-Castiel’s face in the second gif shows real, non-parody vulnerability and fear about the idea of unreciprocated love. That’s the face you make when when the worst bully in the school found a secret love note to your much-more-popular crush and is threatening to read it out in front of the school, including your crush, at lunchtime. Except, um, definitely worse because it’s worse to have your own self be that bully. God, it hurts! But it’s also so beautifully done! (This paragraph brought to you by Misha’s Acting Appreciation Daily.)

p.s. It’s no accident that Misha, trolliest troll to ever troll, chose to post this particular moment on his Twitter instead of any other Empty scene.

@lunellumcas  A lot of shippers do see this exchange as an all-encompassing love that Cas has for everyone. I don’t discount that POV, even if I don’t share it, because he DOES love the Winchesters. But that isn’t how exposition monsters/mirrors work. They’re supposed to reflect what may not be so obvious to the general audience. They drudge up the greatest dreams and darkest fears. For my interpretation, it doesn’t make sense that, out of everything he could use an emotional or mental weapon, Qstiel nitpicks Cas’ love. And THAT doesn’t make sense unless Cas’ secret is that WHO he loves (Dean) exceeds his love for EVERYONE else.  Cas tries to use the good ol’ excuse that the BROTHERS need him, and he delivers the line meekly IMO, but Qstiel won’t take his shit. Cas is lying to him and lying to himself. “Oh save it.” Qstiel essentially says, “You can lie to everybody else, make them think it’s about the brothers, but I have seen inside of you. I know your feelings and your love. This isn’t about brotherly duty. You want to get back to him. But it’s scary and there’s nothing for you there so just go to sleep. Forget about him…”   If the love Qstiel mocks isn’t a romantic, forbidden love then Qstiel’s taunting wouldn’t disturb Cas so much by being exposed and it wouldn’t make him feel vulnerable. There’s no reason to ever make a distinction unless there IS a distinction.    Cas’ love for Dean is not like his love for Sam, for humanity, etc.   And yes, angels are called to love humanity, but they are not supposed to fall IN love. We see what the power of human/angel love can do. It can rip holes in universes when that love creates powerful beings called Nephilim, it can kick every angel out of heaven, it can pierce the veil of death, and who-knows-what-else. Angel/human love is power.

whispers softly *reunion reunion reunion*