So, Cool Beans?

This just feels like something that would've happened to Stede idk

this is the guy blackbeard desires carnally??????

this is the guy blackbeard calls zaddy???? the tang to his tong????? the tangy to his zangy???????????

i wish mary bonnet knew blackbeard was out here calling her ex-husband zaddy

subscribe to his channel!!

i wholeheartedly believe the reason “i just got back together with my boyfriend” never made it to the final show is that taika couldnt be normal in one single solitary take

I love this line because it totally implies Stede has killed spiders for Ed before

literally say anything you want about ofmd, but was there ever before a moment where viewers collectively witnessed a dude (bad bitch, sharp genius) subtly training his guy (big-hearted buffoon) on how to verbally dominate him in bed so that he could finally act out his "i'm a naughty lil kitty" fantasies. that's a category 5 rare sighting, like gotta be top 5 gay bdsm moments in a rom com show at the very least

blackbeard master of the 7 seas is wearing a kitten collar bell and looking up at his TJ Maxx manager boyfriend, begging "say it. say you’re my captain 😫, get meaner with it." the man’s hole is leaking idk how else to explain

a pirate, a serial killer and a demon walk into a bar after a break up Pt 1 -> (x)

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This the funniest fucking thing I have read about this show so far.

From this article.

No but it's even better with this smidgen of extra context

Literally djenks fucking with him the whole time

I’m genuinely interested as to how many homophobic heterosexual men started watching OFMD thinking Stede was straight, considering he’s married, has children and has frequent flashbacks to them in the first season and then said homophobic hetero men where all “holy shit this is gay wtf?!?” by the last episode and were genuinely appalled??? Someone must have put together screenshots from twitter or something. This would crack me up to no end.

three pirates walk into a haunted house

The thing about OFMD is that not a single character is genre aware. Stede thinks he's in fucking Bridgerton on a Boat; Ed thinks he's in a soap opera; Izzy thinks he's in the fucking Bible and he's Judas. None of them know they're in a slapstick comedy. That's why the stakes are all over the place and why they all take themselves so seriously while doing the most batshit insane stuff and then get angry at each other about it. Izzy's sitting over here going, "I am your most devoted follower. I am the only person who loves you enough to betray you." Ed's response is, "Yes, it's me...thought I died?...well think again... " and Stede is standing between them like, "Ours shall be a spring wedding!"

kitten i'll be honest daddy isn't sure he's cut out for full time employment

Guys, remember when Jim tried to dissuade Stede from going to Saint Augustine, claiming the humidity would mess up his hair? And Stede saying he would wear a hat? And then he put on his little andventuring outfit? That's the only time he wears a hat on the show.

Gif by @fandomsmeantheworldtome

Yeah, not even a bad hair day will stop this man from taking his crush on a fun date.

I love these dorks so much.