ambersriley reblogged
► back when glee was a comedy kurtcedes bickering while rachel hopelessly stares at finn
ambersriley reblogged
In particular, this letter. Is that Chris’ handwriting? It sounds like Carson Phillips meets s1!Kurt. Chris must have written it to amuse himself between takes or something.
Dear Journal,
Not so fabulous today. My crow’s foot has turned into feet and not even Jimmy Choo could hide the imperfections. It was so depressing. my routine 45-minute nightly stare in the mirror was reduced to a 20-minute glance. Age is upon me like another Cher farewell tour…it’s unstoppable.
What will become of me Journal? Will I be consumed by the conservative conquests[?] of my father? Will I outlive the illiterite[sic] lobsters that are the population of Lima?
I must escape Ohio. I must ride the back of a camel into the sunset of Morroca[sic]! I must swim with the dolphins in Denmark and worry no more!
Tina is sitting next to me. No doubt writing about the demons within her. I wonder about her sometimes. It’s like Satan possessing Porky-the-Pig [KURT! >:(] Oy, the battles that must occur in that one’s mind.
I’m sitting behind Artie. There is something very wrong with this picture. It reminds me of when I, in my Navigator, get stuck behind the short bus every morning. [Again: KURT. Not cool. >:(]
I'm a little disappointed because the extended summary led me to believe that kurt and sam would be working together to change Rachel's mind about not going to NYADA (even thought I was like no don't need guys trying to tell girl what's best for her). I was expecting at least one scene of them, but that's not what I got at all.
ambersriley reblogged
"I’ve chosen to extend the invitational in an effort to give the New Directions enough time to come up with the requisite 12 members, which is the only show choir rule anyone remembers and yet every year is surprised by."
ambersriley reblogged
keep-frozen-deactivated20190902
ambersriley reblogged
Santana slaying and telling Kurt how it is because no one dares to fuck with what she does with how she lives her life and who she spends the rest of it with This moment cannot be GIF. It just can’t.
ambersriley reblogged
Kurt, I took what you said to heart, and I thought long and hard about it, and it occurred to me that you may have a point. Maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. I mean, after all, that’s why it didn’t work out with you and Blaine, right?
Or maybe it didn’t work because you’re a judgmental (I can’t figure out what this word is someone please help) with a mouth like a cat’s ass. Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing a shrill, self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together. Or farted.
Maybe Blaine didn’t want to be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smile, or someone who doesn’t dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick’s more elaborate wet dreams.
Maybe Blaine grew weary of dating a breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray. Maybe he finally got freaked out by your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes like one of those cats that can smell cancer. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen past, to entertain exactly no one with, say some song that Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of, or some sassy old Broadway standard made famous by another dead alcoholic crone.
Maybe Blaine woke up one day and said, “you know what, I don’t want to marry a sexless, self-centered baton twirler. Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves: the finger wag, the shoulder shimmy, and the one where you pretend to twirl two invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips.”
So you know what, maybe that’s why it didn’t work out. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany. Maybe it’s just that you are utterly, utterly intolerable.
Maybe that has something to do with it.
