today’s reminder is that even though straight and aro aces are so valid and welcome in the lgbt community, you do not get to use the f slur unless you are romantically attracted to the same sex! not everyone who’s lgbt gets to use it, straight trans people or questioning people shouldn’t use it either, so please be vigilant with the language you use.
i post a lot of content about ace issues, so i thought i’d share sara sunflower’s video since it’s very informative and i think you guys would like it! i find that a lot of it is based on actual studies and research, rather than just opinion, which is really helpful since a lot of the discourse around this topic is mostly people’s opinions. anyway, enjoy? hopefully you can learn a thing or two from it?
ugh it’s so hard to be a queer girl and also ace when it seems like 99% of lesbians are ace exclusionists? like i’ll meet someone who is really cool and funny and who i agree with on a lot of issues but as soon as someone mentions ace people they’re so quick to say “ace/aro isn’t lgbt lmao”, and then i don’t know what to do. do i try and i convince them that we are? because it’s not my job to explain to them why it’s not okay to deny us a community like that, and i also know that i’ll never actually persuade them. do i just deal with it and keep associating with them? i know that no one would expect me to do that if someone disagreed with my romantic orientation, but why should i cause an issue? it’s so much easier to just ignore it, even if i know i shouldn’t. it makes me wish i was allo, honestly, even though i love being ace and it’s such a big part of who i am. i join lgbtq+ groups and i don’t even want to mention my sexuality for fear of someone starting an argument if they know i’m ace, which i don’t think is the way it’s supposed to be in lgbtq+ groups lol. seems counterproductive. the lgbtq+ community is supposed to be an accepting place for us but honestly, it’s not. it’s just not. which sucks so much, not just because we need it but also because it does mean a lot to me as a queer girl. when people criticize it i want to defend it but i know that we get on with this shit a lot and it makes it hard to just exist. sorry but i just needed to rant. i’ve only been out for like, 3 months and it’s already hard. if someone knows what i’m supposed to do, please tell me.
I can’t help but help but feel that claiming aces don’t belong in the lgbtq+ community contributes to asexual erasure and aphobia. It implies that asexuals are straight, which is just incorrect. We aren’t straight, straight people feel sexual attraction to the opposite sex, we don’t feel it for anyone, we aren’t straight. It doesn’t matter if you’re heteroromantc or not, if you’re ace, you are not straight.
Hetero people don’t respect us (I don’t mean like, individual hetero folks. I’m sure you’re lovely), and when we’re denied a community with other queer people, well, it’s not long before no one will acknowledge our existence. Denying us doesn’t make us stop existing, it just makes life a thousand times harder for ace people
