Tales of an Injured Fog Rat

No one:

Garashir fics:

wanna be cuddled for like 4 or 5 days

Ah yes, the 5 love languages:

[picks up an alligator and kisses it]

the alligator kisses back

but watch out

No

I think that when you are thinking about planting roses, an important consoderation to keep in mind is that someday, you will die

Perhaps you love the meditative nature of caring for rose bushes but one day you will die, and no one will be able to manage the weirdly intense Gardening Regime that you set for everything you planted and your roses will become overgrown and dangerous and someone, perhaps, even, your beloved grandchild, will be obligated to take a pruning shear the size of their own fucking arm to a bunch of rose canes that are as big around as their own fucking wrist, PERHAPS, PERHAPS THESE THINGS MIGHT HAPPEN. JUST SOMETHING TO KEEP IN MIND.

This is a call out post for my grandfather who I love and miss very much every day... Wish he was still here with us, to trim his fucking rose bushes

saw this on my facebook feed and thought it was funny

— Tammy Brewer, Literary Sexts

bitches be falling for arrogant villains twice their age with dark pasts and pretty hair. it's me, i'm bitches

i’m done with texting and calling from now on i’m only communicating through shared lucid dreams

(loves men but in an unmistakably bisexual way)

#higher standards for kindness#lower standards for height if this ain’t me…