ALSO pardon my rambling but I have THOUGHTS and I would like to share them
A looooooooot of past actions having consequences on the present, even actions that weren’t under your full control. After Sam’s apology last week for not looking for Dean in Purgatory, as well as his speech to Claire about monsters always being there but a normal life not, that definitely pings a lot of Sam radar. His past is certainly haunting him with Lucifer hitching a ride out of the cage and feeding devil-birds by playgrounds. But actions not under your control also is very much Dean- I mean hell, when we first met Alex was back when Dean was in his first Mark-fueled downward spiral, and full of lovely meta fodder for his descent.
It’s also made clear at the start of the episode that this family life Sam & Dean delivered Alex and Claire into is something they both desperately crave, if how they gulp down their home cooked meal is any indication. They want the stability that Alex seems to have carved out for herself. But they both also want to dive headlong into hunting the way that Claire is trying to (Sam jumps on the idea that Claire’s case is real, and Dean forces himself to enjoy his heart attack of a “hamburger”). But both options are equal in that they’re both hiding. Claire is hiding from her fear of opening herself up and being vulnerable when all her experience has told her that she’s just going to get hurt. Alex, on the other hand, is hiding from the things that she’s done in the past, the version of herself that doesn’t fit in her little utopia.
Last week’s ep gave us this same perspective for both boys as well. For Dean, 11x11 was where the banshee went after the person who was vulnerable and pining, according to Mildred. And where, just like Alex bared her soul to a boy who wasn’t who she thought, Dean bared his own vulnerabilities to a man (angel) who wasn’t who he thought either.
For Sam, the struggle is less defined but no less real. He’s always been torn between throwing himself fully into hunting, or burying his head in the sand, and unable to find a balance between the two. In 11x11 he was unable to conceive of living a long and happy life, of getting even close to retiring.
So if both Dean and Sam are mirrored in Claire and Alex, being pulled in opposing directions but unable to find an option that isn’t hiding, then the answer lies in Jody. Jody, who has apparently found a balance between being a parent, a sheriff, and a sometime hunter; she knows what goes bump in the night, and she does what she can, but it doesn’t consume her life. She puts her family first, not in a self-sacrificing unhealthy way, but so that they will all be safe and happy even while the endless war against the night goes on.
