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Julian looking up info about lizards on space yahoo answers. Starts innocent enough...

These are real questions I found on there lol. RIP to a real one. Love to the Discord Space 9 server homies for inspiring this 💕

Valentine Special Day 1

I was debating which one to make first when I got this ask, and honestly? What a great way to start things off. Here you go, anon:

thought this scene could use some background music

DS9 as Textposts: Julian Edition

followup

how did i get here

Garak Moods™️ pt 11

Enjoy a fresh crop of Garak text memes, plucked straight from the vine (part 8)

Garak x text memes pt 6 because I too am a homosexual lizard with anxiety who has done terrible things

this is the nightmare

(“garak fucked dukat” in latin, probably)

i was peer-pressured into making this and i didn’t even resist

I never pass up an opportunity to talk about Latin words for sex acts and Cardassian genitalia, so here I go. TW for discussion of different sexual acts ahead. 

Futuere does mean ‘fuck’, but it is more specific than the English word. Futuere is a rude word meaning ‘to vaginally penetrate’. Latin has an entirely separate (and equally rude) word for ‘to anally penetrate’, pedicare. It also has a word meaning ‘orally penetrate’, irrumare. (Note that all these are actives, concentrating on the penetrating party. While we as a society think of oral sex as something where the person whose mouth is involved is the one who is doing the action - think of phrases such as blow, go down on etc -, the Romans perceived this as an act of penetration. The Romans had a big thing about who was active and who was passive, and these words are frequently used as insults or attacks, making it clear that the ‘passive’ party (both in the act and grammatically) was morally reprehensible.)

So which should we use in this case? Let’s put irrumare aside, at least for the moment. When it comes to species with human-like plumbing, the distinction between futuere and pedicare is retained. But with Cardassians, we tend to agree this is not the case. They have cloacas, which fulfil both reproductive and excretory functions. Would that mean that pedicare would always be correct? Or could you use futuere of an AMAB Cardassian because of the relatively low amount of dimorphism? 

I would probably go for pedicare, as that is the one usually used of sex between men. It also carries with it a stronger power dynamic, which in the case of Garak and Dukat might be fitting, with Garak turning the tables on Dukat by seducing him. 

To finish my Roman centurion impression: fututus is a passive perfect participle, so meaning ‘fucked’ as in ‘has been fucked’. If we wanted to keep this verb form (or the grammatically equivalent pedicatus), all we’d have to do is add a few elements to get a proper Latin sentence. We need the preposition a(b) to indicate who’s the agent and a form of the verb esse ‘to be’, in this case est. We also need to put the names in the right case to show who’s doing what. My first thought was to treat the names Garak and Dukat in the same way as Hebrew names in Latin, getting no case endings at all, but then I thought, where’s the fun in that? So, let’s make them both third declension, making the root Garak- and Dukat- respectively. As our verb is passive, we need the patient (i.e. the person who is having the verb done to them) in the nominative - Dukat. A proper third declension nominative would be Dukas. The agent is governed by the preposition a(b), and will be in the ablative - Garake (please insert secret agent-joke here). So: 

Dukas a Garake pedicatus est.

If we want to use an active formation, we need Garak, the agent, in the nominative - Garax. Our patient will be in the accusative, making him the direct object - Dukatem. Let’s go with the perfect tense again: 

Garax Dukatem pedicavit. 

And there you have it!

(In all seriousness though, I love the image. None of this is meant as criticism, just related geekiness.)

the nightmare continues, but with better latin

Moodboard for Quark realizing that Garak and Bashir have been using his establishment as a venue to flirt loudly for years and being mildly annoyed about it but also accepting, because hey, they keep coming back, so it’s good business

im avoiding my dissertation Again so it’s time for Garak x text memes pt 5

how often do you sin? + star trek: deep space nine

garak got one so it’s only fair that julian gets one too

spitting out collages like it’s 2013 over here

6 years later and I’m back with the trek collages oops

garak deserves this though, let’s be real