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Tales of an Injured Fog Rat

@almaasi / almaasi.tumblr.com

Elmie. 31, they/them, Aotearoa New Zealand. Words-witch and illustrator of soft queer fiction.
"[Elmie is] not an un-charming person." - Siddig el Fadil, July 2nd 2021
highkey: ⋆ Rabbit LightningRhett & Link ⋆ lowkey: ⋆ GarashirGood OmensDestiel ⋆ ⋆ intersectional feminism ⋆ misc. ⋆
☆ · · · nsfw on occasion
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livelyackles

@ jibcon goers; questions to ask jensen/misha in the cockles panel:

  • about the deleted dean/cas scene where dean apologised that we never got to see
  • to do an accent-off
  • ask misha how much he likes jensen’s singing ;)))
  • about times their families have spent together (apart from the boat trip maybe??)
  • uncle jensen?? uncle misha??
  • if danneel/misha selfies exist… just about misheel(?)’s friendship in general
  • just ask them about danneel and vicki pls pls pls

reminder to ask these

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reblogged

so im listening to misha talking about how he was cool in school but others didn’t think so, and how he got one michael jackson white glove and the card board to school and demonstrated break dance [x]

and i was like, this reminds me of something, and

Danneel Harris grew up unafraid of being different than the norm. She wore what she wanted to school, whether her socks varied or she sported a funky hat. One day, Harris recalls, she mimicked pop singer Debbie Gibson with the hat, the glove “and everything.” [x]

Man has a type

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almaasi

oh yeah, Jensen definitely has a type, and Danneel and Misha are that type. see this interview on people.com:

What's your type? Jensen: Me and my buddies say, "Someone who gets it." Gets sarcasm, gets high-brow humor. Ultimately, someone who you can pal around with and also be intimate with. Someone who can laugh at your jokes – it may sound cheesy, but someone who can be your best friend as well as your lover. 

I’m... y’know, fairly sure Misha qualifies.

(although I don’t know what Jensen’s talking about, “high-brow humor”. for him the funniest things are flirting on set and a joke about a grasshopper that walked into a bar.)

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reblogged

Cockles Sex Tape

3.6k words. i’m not fucking around.
[ao3]

“Jensen, come on.” Misha stretches out on the bed and runs a hand over his crotch.

“Would you hold your horses? Please?” Jensen stretches a placating arm toward Misha but stays focused on Danneel. He continues, a lot gentler, “All right, honey, it should be all set. You think you’ll remember everything I told you?”

“I think you should quit being a director and go be a porn star,” Danneel responds with a smack to Jensen’s ass to get him to go away. “I’m not going to do anything fancy with the camera, and you’re not going to act all disappointed when the lighting isn’t perfect or whatever.”

“Oh no, babe, he won’t worry about that as long as you show him the dailies afterward,” Misha teases. “And don’t forget the rule of thirds.”

“OK, but his cock is going to take up at least one of those thirds.“

“All right, all right. Very funny, you two. We going to do this or not?” Jensen removes his clothes, slides into bed next to Misha and immediately starts jerking off.

“Whoa, there, cowboy, what’s the rush?” Misha asks as he stares down at Jensen’s crotch.

“Not hard yet, and it’s time to get this show on the road. You ready, baby?”

“Yeah, baby,” Danneel responds with a thumbs up.

“Here, allow me,” Misha says as he reaches over and replaces Jensen’s hand with his own.

Jensen relaxes against the headboard and lets out a moan. Misha turns toward Danneel to make sure she’s getting all this, and she winks at him in encouragement.

“You getting hard for me, Jay?” It’s not loud enough for the camera to pick up, and Misha suddenly has the insane thought that they can just ADR their lines in later. He stifles a laugh and hopes Jensen doesn’t notice.

Jensen nods and covers Misha’s hand with his own as a silent way of telling him to use more pressure. Misha squeezes harder and smirks when a bit of precome spills onto his hand. He wants to go ahead and use his mouth already, but the plot of their film needs more of a build-up than that.

So instead, he leans over and wraps his lips around the skin of Jensen’s neck nice and slow the way he likes it. Jensen gasps and cants his hips up, and Misha runs his thumb over the head of his cock to get him to buck up again. He continues his line of kisses up to Jensen’s jaw and cheek and finally his mouth, and that’s when Jensen takes over and becomes aggressive with his tongue-fucking. He grabs one cheek and digs his fingers behind Misha’s ear as he furiously works their mouths together like they haven’t kissed in days.

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strengthcas
Anonymous asked:

Wait... Vicki wrote a book? About threesomes?! And MISHA?! Can you tell a little more? And maybe put in a sexy quote? Please and thank you!

Alright, you sure you’re ready to be sexually frustrated by Misha and Vicki?

Vicki Vantoch, Misha’s wife, wrote a book titled:

Vicki offers advice about threesomes in a way that’s witty, hilarious, and sexy. Not only is it completely insightful, but it’s amazing the way she writes it. Not to mention, it left me sexually frustrated. Especially since she is writing about having sex with Misha. Fucking FUCK.

Here’s a quote that definitely made me realize how fucking fantastic Vicki is:

So, buck up, even the prettiest bombshell has body insecurities. You can spend your life thinking your butt’s too big (or your cock’s too small) or feeling sexy as hell. Make the choice to appreciate your body as it is.”

She goes on to explain how she and her husband (Misha fucking Collins) agreed to do threesomes. How they would work together to seduced a third member. How it’s easier to get a three-way started if the woman takes the lead.

“Personally, I’ve felt inexplicably happy seeing my husband treated affectionately and adoringly by another.”

They had sex with another woman. They had sex with another man. She gives examples of sex positions that work for all three just to make sure that everyone is getting pleasured. [JUST FUCK ME UP].

Diagrams are included. So feel free to imagine Misha/Vicki/other fucking.

Like this [WWM]:

“The two women grind each other’s pussies, while the dude schtoops the woman in the middle.”
“The dude fucks one woman doggy style, while the other chick lies underneath and eats the top woman’s pussy. The woman in the middle gets her clit licked and cock penetration at the same time.”

Or this [MMF]:

“One guy sits upright. The woman sits on top, facing him, and rides him. They suck guy number two’s cock together.”

Oh fuck me. Just. Fuck me up. Seriously. I can’t stand it. Just imagining Misha getting his cock sucked by a man and a woman. Or sucking another man’s cock with his wife. I can’t do this. Even though it’s only heavily implied that this happened between then, let your mind run wild.

This little threesome experiment also led to a brief polyamorous relationship with another woman. Here’s what Vicki said about this:

“After several months in our trio relationship, my husband and I started telling friends about our girlfriend… No one seemed to mind the concept of an occasional three-way fling with a stranger, but the concept of dating a third person was a bit much for polite company.”

This book. This FUCKING book. Oh fuck. Trust me, this is just a little bit of what’s in the entire thing. You won’t regret reading it.

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reblogged

i’m more excited about misha mentioning polyamory than I really need to be

but you know that’s one of my favorite things about being in the cockles fandom, being surrounded by people that support healthy polyamory, people that adore their wives and families and want the best for all of them

after years of people being really shitty to me if they found out we were polyamorous it’s amazing

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reblogged
I couldn’t resist.
Cockles on the boat/Cockles spa day. (I took liberties with the mysery screen writer that was apparently with the guys at the spa) nsfw, implied dom/sub, jmdv

“Let’s go to the spa for your birthday,” Jensen says, his thumb tracing Misha’s cheekbone gently in the sharp wind. “Your skin is looking a little worse for wear in your old age.”

Misha smiles, one of those rare, soft smiles that he saves for only Jensen, Vicki and Danneel. “Don’t lie to me, Ackles. I know you just want to go because it’s been a month since your last manicure.”

Jensen scoffs, but doesn’t deny it. He won’t lie to Misha- Jensen does want to go to the spa to get one of those rejuvenating face masks that Danneel had introduced him to,but also because he knows it’s something that Misha needs right now.

The sound of West and JJ laughing at the other end of the boat draws both of their attention, and they watch from where they’re tangled together in the captain’s chair as their children play hide and seek. Maison is hiding behind Danneel’s legs, while JJ is trying to drag West out from where he’s hiding under the bench seat.

“Maybe the girls can have the kids for the day,” Jensen continues, tilting his head slightly to look back at Misha. “It’s not everyday we both have a day off, we should take advantage.”

“West and Maison have been asking for another sleepover.” Misha muses. “Okay, we can go.”

Jensen is about to let out a ‘hell, yes’ when Misha cuts him off.

“We can go if you don’t ask me to do the accent. At all.”

“But-”

“The man we rented the boat off thought I was Russian!” Misha exclaims, making Jensen chuckle. Jensen had basically threatened Misha with no sex for a month if he didn’t do the India-Russian accent that day. It didn’t help that Jensen had called him Dmitri at the end of every sentence. By the end of the day, the kids had all been joining in, demanding Misha do his ‘Jensen accent’.

“Fine.” Jensen grumbles. “But that means no weird hippy spa treatments. I don’t give a fuck if it’s your birthday. Last time my skin smelt like sushi forweeks.”

Misha smiles, tightening his grip on Jensen’s waist. “Deal.” He says, glad that Jensen didn’t ask for unlimited spa selfies.

Jensen is in his element.They’re both wearing only a fluffy white robes and headbands. It’s freeing, somehow, for the both of them; knowing they can be in public but also be themselves, without the fear of anyone recognizing them.

Unless one of the geriatrics in the mud baths watches Supernatural, Jensen is pretty sure they’re both safe.

“Feel those years just fading away huh, Mish?” Jensen teases as they make their way to the steam room.

“I’m not that much older than you, asshole.”

“Yeah, but I’m not in my forties, old man.”

“Funny, I think I heard you calling me something different last night.” Misha smirks, and Jensen nudges him with his shoulder. “I’ll remember all of this when you turn forty.”

“Hey, I don’t mind being called an old man if you do it in an accent.” Jensen counters. If he’s honest with himself, he’s not entirely sure if he brings up the accent thing so much because he likes to annoy Misha, or because he’s obsessed with his India-Russian accent.

Misha rolls his eyes affectionately as they stop outside of the steam room. Misha shakes off his robe, shooting Jensen a sultry look, before hanging it on the hooks outside of the steam room. Jensen hesitates for a moment before doing the same, thinking of dead puppies and old relatives all the while.

Misha doesn’t stop staring into his eyes, and Jensen feels a shiver go down his spine. “Will you stop looking at me like that?” Jensen says, pretending to be angry.

Misha just smiles, before turning on his heel and walking into the steam room. Jensen is quick to follow.

Inside the room, Jensen can’t see anything that isn’t right in front of him,  and Misha seems to have disappeared.

“Mish?” Jensen calls. He can vaguely see the outline of benches somewhere in front of him, but before he can make his way towards them, he feels arms circling his waist. Jensen hopes to god that it’s Misha and not some burly trucker who liked the look of him.

“Mish?” Jensen repeats. He can feel hot breath against the side of his neck, and then a tongue tracing his earlobe. He shivers.

“Catch me if you can.” Misha teases, giving Jensen one last squeeze before disappearing once again.

Jensen quickly darts after him, arms flailing around to try and grab him. His hands brush against Misha a few times, but he’s always too quick for Jensen to catch.

Misha is quick to put him out of his misery, though, as when Jensen nears the benches, he feels hands on his hips pulling him down. He ends up on Misha’s lap, cocks brushing.

The door of the steam room opens, but they both ignore it. It’s probably just someone leaving, knowing what’s happening between Jensen and Misha and not wanting to watch the show.

Misha lifts his hips upwards a few times, the slow pace driving Jensen mad. He doesn’t bother to complain, though, or try to move his own hips. He knows that Misha likes to feel in charge.

Jensen also knows that if he tries to move his hips, Misha will punish him by not letting him finish until they get home.

Jensen loops his arms around Misha’s neck, digging his blunt nails into the muscles of his shoulders. Misha hums, and Jensen knows it’s because he thinks Jensen is being good.

“Fuck, Mish.” Jensen groans. He doesn’t want to come now, though. He wants to do it with Misha inside. “Need you.”

Misha runs his hands up Jensen’s damp thighs, but a deep voice makes him freeze.

“Uh- did you guys forget that you told me to meet you here?”

Jensen and Misha look at each other with wide eyes through the steam.

There’s an awkward silence for a few moments as Jensen and Misha scramble to think of something to say.

“Uh- do we know you?” Jensen blurts out eventually. Misha gives him a ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ look, but Jensen ignores him.

“Jensen, I know that’s you.” Jeremy says in a tired voice.

“Jensen? Who’s Jensen?” Jensen asks. “My name isn’t Jensen.”

Before Jeremy can reply, Jensen is jumping off Misha’s lap and grabbing his wrist, before dragging them both out of the door.

“What the fuck was that?” Misha exclaims, not sure whether he wants to laugh or feel bad that they forgot that they hadn’t come here alone.

“Shit, dude, I don’t know,” Jensen replies, putting his robe back on quickly. Misha does the same. “I didn’t know what else to say.”

Misha lets out an exasperated laugh, running a hand through his damp hair. “Let’s go shower, and then we can leave.” Misha says, and Jensen nods in agreement and they both make their way to the shower room, hoping Jeremy won’t follow. “Work is going to be awkward on Monday.”

“Fuck. We fucked up.” Jensen groans. “Why did we even invite him?”

You thought it would be a good idea, in case anyone spotted us here and we could use him as a buffer to make it seem like we’re not on a date.”

“Next time we’re just bringing Vic and Danneel.” Jensen swears. “Thank fuck Jeremy stopped us before we had sex. I don’t think I could have ever gone back to work.”

“At least it wasn’t Jared.” Misha says.

“True.” Jensen agrees. There’s a pause as they reach the shower room. “You think we can have a quickie in here?”

“Save it for tonight, Ackles.”

“What, your old man heart too weak to start again?”

Misha grabs the belt of Jensen’s robe and shoves him into the shower room, the robe falling to the ground as Misha pushes him against the nearest wall. “You’re going to regret that.”

“Prove it.” Jensen smirks.

Best birthday ever, Misha thinks.

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