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#writing prompt – @allwaswell16 on Tumblr
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Anonymous asked:

I was cleaning out my junk drawer today, and this is super random lol but I found the punch/stamp card for the ice cream shop I used to go to in the last city I lived in, and now I can’t stop thinking about it as a little fic prompt. The shop was called lick’s (or maybe licks? I’m not actually sure) and the card that they would give you, where you’d get a stamp every time you ordered and then eventually you’d get a free ice cream was called a frequent licker card. It lead to a few interesting conversations (and I’m sure the people working at the ice cream shop had even more interesting conversations when they handed those out) when people would see that at my front door haha and I think would definitely be a funny idea for a fic if anyone’s needing some inspiration :)

omggg this really is a great prompt lmaooo! I really hope someone takes you up on this! Or someone could donate and make me write this lol...my first thought is that it's Harry's shop and Louis gets a frequent licker card...

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queerpeers

so background. my fiancée and my mom have been calling each other “BFF” since we started dating over 5 years ago. like that was my mom’s contact name in Selena’s phone for half a decade.

anyway we just got engaged a few days ago, and now the two of them want to update their nicknames to reflect that. and. well. hold on i gotta gear up for this one

they have decided on “mother in law forever” and “daughter in law forever.” fucking. MILF and DILF. yes they are both FULLY aware of what those mean and not even god and his angels can make them stop

can someone please mercy kill me

update! you haven’t experienced horror until your partner greets your mother by screaming “hi milf!!!” across a crowded pride festival!

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It has apparently been ten years since the time one of my professors pulled me aside to tell me I had to clean up after making out before going to class because my lipstick was everywhere and I realized "actually my tapdancing group decided we all had to dress like the Joker for our performance" was an infinitely worse explanation so I just said I was sorry

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The thing about general life weirdness is that it's accumulative. If you open the door and allow one (1) unusual thing into your life, that significantly improves the odds of other weird things happening. Just one mildly odd thing is just one mildly odd thing, but they lead the way for things that can be a perfectly logical consequence of the first thing, that would never, ever happen to someone who hadn't invited the first odd thing into their life.

Like let's say you decided to get an iguana. That's not the most common kind of pet, but not unheard of. Perhaps you thought you wanted a cat, but then decided to see what other animals your local animal rescue has available, and holy shit they've got an iguana. So now you've got an iguana.

And being a responsible pet owner - which, again, is a normal thing to do - you make sure you take good care of your new baby. And being a rescue, your iguana might have some issues that they've got from being poorly handled by the previous owner. So you see what you can do about it, and find out a vet who is specialised enough to do physical therapy on an iguana. And naturally, you call them right up and get your iguana cared for. And being such a specialised professional, naturally this vet makes sure to keep their work and personal life neatly separated.

All of these are perfectly logical steps into an unusual direction, but they are also the way you may find yourself saying something like "my iguana's therapist blocked me on grindr."

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reblogged

people at the grocery store sometimes do a visible double-take about how many vegetables I'm buying. they look at me probably thinking wow she's so healthy! it's ok that she's also buying donuts! she's earned them!

you fools. all the produce is for my pet pig. I'm eating donuts for dinner.

an older woman actually stopped me once and told me I must be a great cook because I was just throwing random vegetables in my cart based on price. she was like "gosh! I would need a recipe to know what to do with all of those!"

i do have a recipe. it's very simple:

ingredients: vegetable

step 1: throw it on the ground.

this is my son. btw.

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Masterpost of vaguely-addressed letters that actually got delivered to the right person. Whatever you say about Ireland, the lovely people at an Post clearly know how to do their job.

1. Your man Henderson, that boy with the glasses who is doing the PhD up here at Queen’s in Belfast, Buncrana, Co. Donegal, Ireland.

2. Blindboy Boatclub, Postman should know, Limerick, Limerick postman should know.

3. Mr. Leo Varadkar, Taoiseach, Castleknock, Dublin 15.

4. Petra Kindler and Donal Moore, unfortunately I forget the streetname but it’s near a street named Cul de Sac, The beautiful city of WATERFORD, well-known for its kindly postmen, IRELAND.

5. HERE PLEASE [on a map of the coastline near Dunmore East].

6. “Sam the Cat,” Rosscahill, Co. Galway.

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