cw psychiatric drugs, mental health, mental illness

so today starts my new regimen of wellbutrin in addition to my lexapro. i’ve been on lexapro for something like two years now, and while things have been mostly stable i’ve experienced some pretty serious dips here and there (most recently like a week and a half ago) and i guess the hope is wellbutrin will help stabilize my mood.

it’s too soon to tell whether anything will change, but my crnp assures me it’ll either be smooth sailing or i’ll totally hate it, and i’ll know when it happens so she can take me off it. mental health therapies, specifically psychiatric drugs, involve a lot of trial and error, but i’m willing to risk error in pursuit of the capability to better handle my feels.

i want to thank my friends for being patient and kind and loving and honest with me. my friendships with all of you are absolutely LIFE AFFIRMING

you remind me why i keep going, and why i can't give up. thank you.

CALL FOR MULTIMEDIA SUBMISSIONS FOR MENTAL HEALTH PROJECT (ZINE? FILM??)!!

I NEED YOUR HELP! PLEASE READ!!

tw: mention of anxiety, depression.

hey. my name is sasha and i am interested in doing a project on mental health with a focus on the healing process. as a person who is dealing with anxiety and depression, i want to hear from others about their experiences relating to mental health.

mental health is tremendously personal. each person has a story, and if you have one, and you want to share it, i'd like to hear it.

this project may evolve into a zine, a blog, or even a film to be screened at a feminist and queer film fest at my university this spring. i don't know exactly what; i want to see what others are interested in making and doing.

POTENTIAL CONTRIBUTIONS/SUBJECT MATTER:

-self care

-resources for mental health help: support groups, hotlines, doctors, online resources

-resources for uninsured folks/folks who don't have access to medical providers

-coping mechanisms

-personal memoirs

-artwork

-photography

-poetry, essays, writing of any kind

-video content

-collages

-book & music suggestions

these are just some ideas!

*if you are interested in participating, anonymity is totally ok! just let me know!*

IMPORTANT NOTE! when submitting, PLEASE include a trigger warning. also, please do not submit graphic photographs of self harm.

Message me on Tumblr or send an email to [email protected] with any questions, concerns, and contributions!

let's talk, become friends, and build something together. let's see where this goes.

i have a friend who only texts when she's having a depressive meltdown, on the verge of self harm, or contemplating suicide. these texts come in the middle of the night once or twice a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. it's a constant pattern. i've known her for over a year now and it's been this way since we met. i feel obligated to respond because i consider her a friend and i care for her. it would be wrong to ignore a friend's cries for help. however i have a number of problems of my own---anxiety, depression, lack of sleep, and i'm working really hard to deal with them. and so i can't continue to do this. i've tried to refer her to hotlines, to professionals. but she always, always comes to me. i can no longer handle the burden.

i exhaust my energies trying to help her but it is futile. she wants desperately for someone to fix her but i can't. no one can. only she can. but if she were to do something permanent, and i made no effort to help her, i'd feel somewhat responsible.

i don't want to be insensitive. i can't leave her high and dry. but i can't fucking do this anymore. i can't. does anyone have any advice?

TRIGGER WARNING: mention of suicide, mention of rape, depression, slut-shaming, bullying.

in the wake of Amanda Todd's suicide, i want to share my own story. i don't know if i will regret putting this out into the world, because it's a story i've seldom told since it happened, but more than ever i feel a need to tell it. it's a long one, so bear with me.