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#my boss is gonna fucking kill me#they're not even hiding how pissed they are at my incompetence#i have to have an extremely dofficult conversation with her in a few minutes because i keep majorly fucking up#but i wouldnt if someone would fucking train me#i wish i could kill myself and become a completely different person#im torn between apologizing and lashing out at this []#i found out a month ago that along with adhd#there's a high chance that i am severely autistic#so that's probably why i have no social skills#combine that with absolutely no motivation and its a wonder im havent killed myself yet#not like []#im so done with this nonsense. i need some real significant positive change to happen NOW