The people on OKCupid, I swear...
OKCupid User: (as part of their public self summary) As of March 2016, I'm engaged, and not looking for anything or anyone else. I'M NOT IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP EITHER, SO DON'T EVEN TRY BOO BOO
Me:
Me: It's August 2016.
Me: Why are you still here?
Me: ???