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fragile soft machines

@aldieb / aldieb.tumblr.com

west. on a mission to fail the turing test. “some prophecies are self-fulfilling / but i’ve had to work for all of mine.”

i feel bad that mac can’t read a calendar bc i spread a weird goop on him once daily except for one day a month when i spread two different goops at different times. which seems stressful if you don’t know when the two-goop day is coming. these are the things that trouble my mind

we started the three-body problem show last night and i’m still thinking about this shot of a particle physicist’s bedroom that prominently includes the spine of a textbook that appears to just be titled “SCIENCE.” i was trying to find the book but as you might imagine this is a tough one. anyway this really sums up how they’ve done characterization of scientists. if you don’t mention the vague concept of science in every sentence you’re getting thrown out of the lab

#text tag #in the book this was more frictionless bc the characters imo were paper dolls being moved around in order to discuss Theories but they’re #trying to make us connect with the people in the show #textbook spine is black with the word in white in a serif font and some sort of blue ornamentation near the bottom

went on walk to try to wrap my head around literally anything and all it produced was a little popup window in my brain that said “tip: dissociation can be a survival tool.” honestly great reminder tho, had kind of forgotten

#text tag #safe and healthy are all that are necessary. self-actualization would be nice but that’s for the lucky ones #not recommending this to anyone who doesn’t already have that feature pre-installed lol. but if you read this blog for self-help tips we #have other problems to address

me being texan is such an unnecessary subplot. like due to the fact that we moved when i was small it has no effect on my life beyond the fact that i say yall slightly more than the average gay person EXCEPT that i am also transgender so fuck me i guess

#text tag #every person on earth: giving me legal advice assuming i can change the sex on my birth certificate / me: 😝#today was a shitshow except the part where i randomly saw mage for 2 minutes and they gave me a sidequest to buy myself a donut #this is less serendipitous without the context that we live over an hour from each other and were going to totally different places #+ def still the best bad anniversary of the past 8 years. getting better every time

i basically just think i’m done with country music. like it was never a good scene obviously but how many times can i get the football yanked away from me before i wise up. all the songs that’ve been my soundtrack to this year now make me nauseous 👍

#text tag #like i knew mr bryan was some form of a pos but not how severe until all this + i genuinely saw garth brooks as a stand-up guy #just in general i keep trying to have one foot in my roots and one in my values and it doesn’t work out. my roots suck #glad i didn’t get to see him actually play i guess!! bc now i just have positive memories of tailgating and getting thru the #severe weather with my brother

1/3 of nanowrimo for babies = 5,382/3,000 words. pls clap because i'm losing my marbles (unrelatedly but it is not really making the writing flow)

#text tag #the insane fic will break 20k tomorrow. so almost halfway done :o

3 more days of crazy season remain 👏 need to go to laundromat and research name change stuff and consider christmas shopping but based on yesterday probably will sleep on the couch with the dog and contemplate my mistakes past and future

#text tag #i didn’t lose It until 8 days into november we r really getting toward wrapping this up efficiently #did request off monday at some point bc i’m smart and we are gonna be reaching new heights of classy roommate activities by going to #brunch and then build a bear

bruh i’m not talking to my mom about gender any more. the information simply doesn’t go into her head. no matter how clearly i say it, “call me x and you can expect y” leaves absolutely no impact vs. she has seamlessly shifted name and pronouns for an asshole from my hometown who i last hung out with regularly almost a decade ago. like i’m sorry that i don’t have everything figured out and it’s confusing but can my mother say my name one time

#text tag #i was also fighting paleontologists all day bc they’re being mean to my coworker. bitch i’m going to the museum of natural history and #eating the bones #it’s so clearly partly a pr problem. like when she says ‘so you’re like [binary trans person she knows]’ i gotta say yes and stfu

ok i’m come back. the news you missed is i experienced the most fun dnd session of all time (lucja completely convinced the villains that she’s joining their side bc i dazzled everyone with my rp and then immediately rolled a nat 20)

#text tag #hope you all are doing all right

i already had no hope for the future on an overall/non-personal scale so same difference i guess. direct your boos and condescending posts about how “we” can’t give up to some other address

#text tag #see y’all in a few days once the dash has gone down to a low simmer. personally i’m gonna be bottling that shit up and trying to avoid #having literal 2016 flashbacks

another w for lack of situational awareness: i went to a different cvs than usual and someone with a shank started robbing it but i didn’t realize until halfway through self checkout so i just bought my cleaning supplies and skedaddled. to be fair no one waiting at the pharmacy did anything either and the main chaos was from all the employees fighting about how to deal with it

#text tag #nyc skill: invisible due to not paying attention

my stomach hurts so bad and i can’t tell if it’s stress or poor timing re taking a multivitamin. look at the insane face my cat makes to express pleasure when i’m petting him

#text tag #please please please need to finish work and do craft night and pizza

here are things characters in the first bridgerton book say with their mouths:

“oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!”
“euf”
“yaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!”
“waaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiittttttttt!”
“daphneeeeeeeeeeeee”

my collection is still growing

#text tag #DONT READ THIS BOOK even for a bit like i’m doing. love yourself

the effect btw 👍

#text tag #i ate 2 dinners and hounded the roommates to steal their snacks and i’m still hungry hello…#must stop paying attention to every little thing bc that will quickly make my brain evil but i have very rarely had the experience to enjoy #changes in my physical state. they’re inventing a body that isn’t just a suffering machine

we watched nope and 1) it’s still one of the greatest movies i’ve ever seen 2) they really catered to the horse girls by constructing a situation where you can save the day by riding around looking cool on the bombproof horse you trained. oj will always be slightly sad that he will never experience anything better than living the secret dream there

#text tag #i need to figure out how i can gallop in a big field so bad i’m chewing through the walls

i’m gonna write 300 words every day this month. unless it makes me freak out in which case i won’t

#text tag #lately obsessed w the fact that i need but don’t have a style. i used to have one. probably writing in generic fic voice rn isn’t helping

one of mac’s many virtues is that he has absolutely no interest in messing with human food or possessions, but i did just wake up with one earplug not in my ear and then found it halfway across the apartment on the floor. sir what happened last night

#text tag #macintosh laptop

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