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To be ruined to satisfy another’s desire

@albino-whumpee / albino-whumpee.tumblr.com

Icon by @patomarzm || Whump || They/them // 23 // Moya // spicy content occasionally // vents a lot, sorry
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CW/ torture, murder, hanging, amputation, fraying, revenge, whumper turned whumpee. Sadistic whumper.

Imagining I can let Albus get away with it and make him kill the Coronel during recovery arc.

Like, just imagining he goes to his house in the middle of the woods saying he wants to talk and that he will prepare them dinner and then while eating he says he finished his assignment while holding the ears of the guys he was sent to kill and a stash of money, so. He has no debt to pay anymore.

However, the Coronel’s debt to him…

The guy thinks he poisoned the food as he starts feeling dizzy, but Albus is calmly drinking on his wine as he explains that poisoning him is only the first payment.

When the man wakes up he has a plastic bag over his head and is tied up to a chair with legs spread. He notices quickly the chair is inclined, hanging by a neck holding him at the brink of suffocation. He doesn’t know where Albus is until he pushes the chair forward and the rope cut his air.

“It’s an awful feeling, isn’t it?” He tells him. “Could you handle hours of this? No? It’s ok, you learn how in a few hours.”

The man notices he’s also naked, and think is just for humiliation until Al begins to cut his chest with a kitchen knife. He doesn’t just slice but dips the knife and lifts before pulling the skin. It goes like that for an hour.

It is with a wet splat that Albus stops fraying him.

“Good job, only halfway there.”

The Coronel is spatting curses that fall in deaf ears when his body tenses at the sudden bolt of electricity over his bleeding chest, right on the open wounds. Only the sizzle of the taser giving him mere seconds to brace himself. The man’s screams become wetter and wetter as Albus alternates between choking and electrocuting him.

An hour later, the man’s neck is ragged raw when Albus cuts the rope and the man gasps for air with a bloody mouth.

“A-A-ar-e yo-u d-d-one?” The man asks him, heaving, watching the boy inspect the knife in his hands before cleaning it with the man’s clothes.

“I don’t have enough time for this. So I’ll make it short.” Albus goes to grab his hand then, “do you remember how many fingers you cut, Coronel?” He says as he slowly saws the man’s thumb. He screams, or tries to, but his throat is quite damaged now so only gurgling sounds come out. “Refresh my memory, would you? After the drip, I barely remember two,” he says, moving to the index finger. “Or was it three?

“Annie only had a few fingers in her hands when I found her…but I just don’t remember how many…” he said with a sad face that became a little smile as the forth finger fell with a thud. “Oh! I have a reminder of that day, tho! Let’s see,” he said lifting the hem of his pants and counting in a murmur before slamming the knife over the man’s last finger on his right hand. “Yeah, it won’t be enough with only one. You gotta pay the interests for a knee, too.”

The man sobs and his mind shatters just as much when Albus destroys his legs with a hammer.

He’s doesn’t stop until the man screams at him begging to be killed already.

Then, Albus slowly let’s the hammer down and goes to the kitchen. The man can hear the click of the stove before Albus walks back to him and grabs his face.

“Maybe it would’ve been a lot quicker if you had said it earlier,” she shrugged, letting go. “Guess you just wanted it the hard way, Coronel.” Albus takes off, not before taking the man’s cigarettes. Once at the door, he sees him muttering something under his breath. He feels a pang of disgust, but it dies quickly as he watches the cigarette in his hands light up. “Send my regards to my father when you see him in hell.”

Albus walks out and watches from the distance with one of the man’s reds on his mouth.

“They taste disgusting,” he thinks to himself as he ran out of minutes. He drops it and stomps on it before walking away.

The house burns down with the man in it and even if police finds a few digit prints, the system is blank on the profile. “The person doesn’t exist”, it says. He wasn’t old enough to have them on the system on the “people’s” files and nobody cares to check on the pet archives. So, after weeks, the case is dropped as something that happened because of a gang conflict.

Sann watches the news and looks at Albus, barely able to move because of the sudden flare of pain in his limbs and can’t help but remember Robert’s face when he shot. He knows there was anger in his heart when he did it, but he didn’t have a choice. Albus had planned it.

Albus doesn’t need to look at him to see the conflict crossing Sann’s face, but when he sees his own face in the mirror, when he sees the painting, the bursts between his legs and the scar on his cheek…when he thinks he sees Annie on the corner only to find nobody, doubt disappears.

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Sacrifice

Robert showing his real personality always makes me happy. <3 

Finally, this is done. I wanted to keep it on the book only, but wtf. I started free, I wont let a paywall intervene. Enjoy. <3

Taglist: Thanks for patiently waiting for this update! Hopefully it´s been a fun ride for you as it is for me.

CW// pet whump, dehumanization, digging your own grave, guns, sadistic and creepy whumper. Betrayal, kidnapping, shock collars, cigarette burns, knifes, suicidal ideation thoughts, muzzles, lots of cursing. Ghosts and child death mention. Grief. 

After discovering the shovel, Albus had shut down. Crying and begging wouldn´t do anything now. It never really helped if he was honest. Besides, who would hear him so far inside the forest? He couldn´t see outside, but after driving for what seemed hours, they couldn´t be anywhere near the city. With a hiss, the car finally stopped.

The boy´s heart pounded violently against his chest when he heard them walk to the trunk. His mouth went dry when he saw Claude´s resigned face and Robert´s grin as they pulled him out. He knew too well it was pointless to even try and kick them when they unlocked the cuffs around his ankles and forced him to walk to a ditch between two trees, where Sarahi was waiting for them. They crossed eyes, but she only stared at him before walking to Claude. The boy looked around then. There really was nothing but the sky, clear after the rain, and the mountains.

Even if the muzzle was taken off, nobody would hear him scream.

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No Escape

Part 1 of what the hell happened to Albus to choose to become a boxie.

Cw//slavery, captivity, guns, mafia, pedofilia (not a relationship), dehumanization, slavery, human trafficking, destruction of a shelter and safe place, abandonment, attempted murder, ask to tag.

After half a year, the streets whispered a name like a warning. Rumors about the black and white convo of the Coronel´s guard dog and his tiny companion, Quick hands had begun to circulate on the city´s underworld.

“What a bunch of nonsense” Albus said, sitting on the passenger sit of one of the Coronel´s cars.

“They say you´re like a ferocious tiger” Benji told the boy cleaning the butterfly knife he had accustomed himself to carrying for some time now. “Wonder what they would say if they saw that ferocious tiger is less than half a meter tall” Benji laughed as Albus scowled at him.

“I will wipe that smile off their faces, then” the boy said spinning the knife between his fingers with great precision. Benji´s smile stiffened.

“You´ve gotten comfortable doing these jobs…” he said, tightening his grip over the wheel.

“And you´ve grown softer…Hawk.”

Hawk shot a glare at the boy next to him. “Did you hear me talk with Danny?”

“It was Annie who told me. Isn´t that great? You´re remembering more of the time before you became a boxie. The doctor says that´s not easy because of the migraines” Albus said looking at him, gauging his reaction “I´m happy for you.”

Benji turned left into the alley close to one of the Coronel´s hideouts, a Mexican restaurant he had cited them on to give them their next job. Albus carefully observed Benji driving with his neat suit and the leather collar hanging loosely, not fully covering the hickey on his neck.

Benji jumped when cold fingers touched the sensitive throat.

“Hey! What the hell?” he yelled, covering his neck with one hand as he rapidly looked at the smug boy and the road ahead.

“I imagine Danny is happier than me” he snickered as the other boy´s cheeks flared. Albus rested his chin on his hand with an even bigger grin “You two make a good couple. You shouldn´t let her go.”

Benji shot another glare at him, but his anger quickly turned into defeat. “You know why I can´t”. A red light forced them to stop just a street away from the restaurant.

“That didn´t stop you from hooking up with her all this time, Tho?” he said easily. Benji reached out to smack his head, but the boy stopped him midair. “We´re almost there, Benji. Lemme cover it before that old fart makes you come back home with another bruise.” They both looked at each other for a long time.

“This isn´t you being jealous of her, right?” he said recovering his hand as the light turned green.

“Huh? I might have thought you were handsome at first, but a few months with you have evaporated any interest I could ever have. I´m not into idiots who eat ham and jam sandwiches.” That made Hawk sigh before pulling over into the adjacent street. Albus opened the glove compartment and took out Annie´s makeup palette he had gotten herself with the small job the doctor had given her for the summer.

Hawk watched him use the brush and felt the gentle strokes over his skin.

“They taste good” The older boy argued before Albus shot a disgusted look at him and kept working while shaking his head.

“Whatever you say, you´re not making me eat that abomination.” He took the cologne out of the glove box and sprayed a bit over him. “Ok, done. This should do.”

“Thanks Albie” Hawk said looking at his neck through the mirror. But when he moved to start the car again, Albus grabbed his arm. His face was knit in worry before he looked down and took his hands back to his lap to pull knots.

“Nothing, forget it.”

“Albus? What´s wrong?” Hawk tried, leaning closer to watch his face before the other turned to the window. “You´ve been weird all day. Even at today´s job, you doubted. Tell me?” he gently said, finding the boy looking back at him with palpable worry. “Please?”

Albus opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of the water before finally speaking.

“Hawk, it´s been months already. But The Coronel says my debt is the same. It hasn´t gone down even when the doc helped me. Not a single bit! It´s stupid don´t you think? He´s having a full-on war with that rival cartel and all he is thinking about is how to get me into his bed” the boy´s voice cracked in panic as a few furtive tears rolled down his cheeks. He furiously wiped them off before continuing. “Hawk, you know him better than me. Please, be honest and tell me, have you ever seen someone indebted to him be set free?”

Hawk looked at him with pity.

“You are smarter than that, Al” The boy´s eyes widened before he lowered his head. He doubted if it was the right time to say it, but he had asked him to be honest. “If anything, that´s not why he wants you so badly.”

“Oh, great. The fucking pedo sees me as more than a fuck toy, great. Amazing. I´m a fuck toy he can use, huh?”

Hawk let out a long breath.

“Yes, he´s that kind of person. He won´t let anything be useful to him in only one way. You´ve created a reputation for yourself out of those abilities. Of course, he would want to use them for his gain” The pet looked at his hands, the brand on his hand was starting to fade. Just a few hours ago, Albus had drawn a flower that if tattooed, would cover it completely. His skin still tingled with how hard he had to rub to take it off.

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Futile

Long time I don´t write about Sann´s time with Robert. So have some of that. 

Taglist: 

CW// pet whump, slavery, human trafficking, dehumanization, sadistic whumper, grief, defiant whumpee, noncon body modification, knives, pet play (mentioned). Ask to tag!

Maybe it was because they were not real letters, but reading score sheets was easier than books. He had a vague feeling he had known how to read them from his time before “Sann” and even though it didn´t matter who he had been anymore, he was grateful to that version of himself for giving him a useful skill.

Sann… He still was getting used to having a name. After months, he finally had something that was his. It was a small step, but maybe it was the starting point of his Master liking him. Maybe, if he liked him better, if he was a bit like the man he was replacing…

“Please…” 

Maybe he would treat him better.

Pulling the papers to his chest, he took a deep breath and sat down before the piano. Taking a quick look at the score again, he placed his fingers over the tiles and began playing a simple tune. 

His master would come and go as he pleased, so the times he could practice were just a few. The anxiety of being caught froze him in place but the memory of his touch, a ghostly caress, made his move again. 

A few weeks earlier, the man had taken him to a restaurant and fed him some salmon from his fingers. He had not held an actual conversation with his Master yet, so there was no way for him to know he was severely allergic until he was turning blue on the floor. 

Sann remembered vividly how the man´s always disgusted expression turned into horror as he screamed for help. Oh, how well he remembered he had sighed in relief when he saw he was fine in the ambulance. How could he forget? The smile on his face as he brushed his hair off his face and thanked the gods he was alive. It had been so radiant after all. 

How he could forget he was so thankful he didn´t lose Sirius again?

Sann´s fingers froze in the air. 

As a replacement, he was meant to fill up a hole another person had left behind. His real owner had asked that of him directly, so he had no say in the matter.

Slowly, taking another deep breath, Sann kept playing. 

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Humanity has finally reached a population of 10B. What should have only been mildly interesting became top news when the clouds world round said, “Data limit reached, please upgrade membership to continue growing your civilization.” The population has been unable to grow since.

The very next news was massive waves of miscarriages. People still die on this overpopulated earth. Even if tossed from the platform cities above the clouds, their bodies will land in the mountains of corpses the earth has become. Be it fauna or flora, if it wasn’t made in a lab above the clouds, there’s 0 chance anything below is alive.

It was fine at first. Even if 2 million people died in a span of a year, only those who mourned them would care. Everyone else? They just hoped they weren’t next. For every person that died, a slot became vacant, but that “spare” was bound to be completely filled at some point.

And then, people would grow.

People would grow smelling the faux air of the cities above the clouds, they would grow old smelling it. Then they would die and join the mountain underneath them, growing steadily as years went by .

First, it was an acrid faint smell that would leak through the vents. Nothing to be scared of, cities were never really remembered for their smell of roses, were they? Not a city made of metal, that’s for sure. An acrid, rotten smell began to enter their old noses, too old to try and reproduce even if the slots had grew vacant.

Where could that hellish smell come from?

The news, many could barely hear without aids, claimed. What is happening?

However, as many difficult questions incompetent humans can’t answer, they chose to ignore it. Be blind to the reality the smell growing stronger became.

Then, masks. With rose scents. Roses had gone extinct hundreds of years ago, so a human had no way of knowing if it was the real deal. Didn’t matter if they didn’t have to smell.

One by one, they died. Millions at a time.

And so they were disposed as always. Tossed over the edge into what once had been humanity’s home and had now become a massive a graveyard to life itself.

Still, the humans tossed their corpses.

Until one day, the corpse didn’t disappear beneath the clouds.

Until one day, the dead’s faces became clearer and clearer as they reached the platform.

Until one day, the dead had to be tossed above them and there were no humans strong enough to lift the thousands of corpses.

The smell of death had became the air itself. The humans who breathed it knew they would soon join the mountain, so they had left their masks with rose scent and let themselves go. Forgotten away in their tiny, cramped and dirty platform, ruled by maggots, rats and others, humanity died with one last breath.

With no human left to hear it, the sky blasted a new announcement after 300 years from the last one.

“calculating remaining storage capacity…Storage capacity updated. 10B population left available”

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Fallen Bridges part 2

Goodness, its finally all getting together. lmao. Hope you enjoy!

CW//Pet whump, slavery, human trafficking, muzzles, shock collars, kidnapping, recapture, betrayal, shovels and death imaginary. Getting kinda dark at the end. Angst, hurt comfort and conditioning. 

Taglist:

If you wish to be taken out or added, please send me a message. 

The road to Robert´s house was often without traffic. A big house by the woods with nobody around. A young Rupert Glass had chosen that house in specific because he couldn´t stand busy traffic or stupid neighbors. When he found it on sale, he didn´t even have to ask his wife, as the only thing she said was: 

“I will put roses on the entrance”. 

Those same roses were now withering, Sann noticed. 

The pet had heard the story from Rupert himself once, and when he was there and allowed to, Sann helped Rupert take care of the flowers. 

“C´mon Sann,” Robert said pulling him inside the house. 

The boy offered no resistance. Once Robert´s hand rested on his neck and his tongue sizzled in his ear, his body had simply given up on fighting. Like a switch, one simple touch, one simple order from that man, and he would be on his knees in that dirty basement again. 

A mean burn exploded inside his chest, but he had become an expert in suffocating any flare of defiance. 

With this man, nothing was off the table. 

As he handcuffed him to an anchor on the floor, Sann kept his head down. Something his owner had always liked when he brought him there to punish him, but then, he grabbed his chin and lifted it. 

They stared at each other for a moment. 

Sann looked back in misery while Robert studied his face in silence. 

Robert noticed the tiny changes that had naturally happened when he wasn’t forced to fulfill a dead man’s shoes. At that moment, Robert saw him as Sann, and not that terrible copy of his husband. 

Sann, that murderer´s whore lover. 

Suddenly, he thumbed his cheek with a strange look in his eyes. The pet knew when he was demented, in a frenzy to turn him to a pulp, but even then, his body showed signs. He would have done something else when he flinched away.

“Welcome back” The man grabbed his chin between his thumb and his middle finger, munching up his lips in a bruising hold. “Don’t worry, Sann. You won’t be alone for long”

Sann´s heart stopped. 

What? 

Sann tried lifting his hands on instinct, but the handcuffs would only allow him to rattle the chain a little. 

Kidnapping him was one thing, he had even expected it at some point, but the timing was off. There was also no time to ask about what happened. Wait, could it be it was related in some way to why Albus had run away? But then...Sann´s mental gears turned at full speed, concentrating that he almost missed his owner going away. 

Impulsively, he tried to lift himself, try to beg for answers, before the man threw a cutting glare at him. 

“...what a few months do to you, seriously” He snorted, before pointing at the floor with his finger “Stay. Don´t make me restrain you for real” At the threat, Sann sat back down. When he kept glaring at him, he bowed his head. Then, he grinned. “Good boy” 

A few months away had changed him, indeed. And that´s why he lifted his eyes, trying to ask with just one look why take him back now when he could´ve done it before? when it didn´t hurt.

Somehow, the man stopped climbing the stairs. Turning around to look at him from the corner of his eye. 

Right there in the quiet of the abandoned house, Robert told him something.

“I do this for you too, you know?” he said, before walking outside.

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Sorry, my brain rotted after binge reading to your eternity and being left with nothing but that feeling you get after finishing a really good book.

But I realized something about circular narratives and why I didn’t like Avatar 2 even tho it uses the same narrative structure by reading to you the immortal.

Circular narratives don’t have to have direct extracts of what happened before happen again.

Idk how to explain this without a drawing so here

There’s 3 types to me.

T.a: the narrative moves forward touching in past aspects that may or may not relate to the first few steps. The effects of the first circles affects the next like ripples.

T.b: The recycler. Everything is a circle that will repeat itself regardless of how important or trivial it is.

T.c: A circle that parallels itself for eternity. Never actually touching the ripples, never forming joints. Virtually is the same shape, but is one continuous thing that is not exactly a circle.

All the types repeat themselves. Meaning, all narratives base their middle and end in what happens in the beginning. Of course a story has to have a foundation to work, but a circular narrative means to evoke a sense of familiarity in the situation. A repetition.

However, the way this can be executed is very different among the types.

Type A uses occasional moments of reflection and replication.

Type B uses the exact same factors without almost no change in context.

Type C uses parallels. Context that is different despite the situation being similar.

Circular narratives work as ripples and echoes from the past of the characters in order to evoke a sense of strong past and how it affects the future and present in order to move forward, but somehow, the only type that doesn’t is type b. Many times type’s b goal is to break the type and cut the circle. Centering itself more into that can be done in order to change what is already predictable.

Type A has ripples, meaning some things will survive til the end untouched, while others will be the second or fourth ripple, affected by its predecessors.

Type C mimics itself, but never in the exact same way. Maybe in such a subtle way, you gotta look closer.

This two types can get hard to differentiate, because virtually, they’re the same. But let’s say, “the ripples” that happen in type C will not only appear once or twice. But will be considered throughout the entirety of the narrative and shown subtly, forcing you to connect it yourself.

In striking difference to Type B that will repeat itself and will blatantly show it to the audience as such.

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Whenever a zombie successfully eats a human brain they become a little more alive. The most dangerous zombies are all but indistinguishable from survivors.

You never really die. You’re a zombie, you can’t fucking die. Even when you regained consciousness after eating the whole camp in the hospital, you couldn’t die when you stopped eating.

It was a never ending cycle.

You died of hunger as your body finally slowed down to enter zombie state when you refused to eat humans again. Then, hunger brought you back to humanity.

You couldn’t and wouldn’t die.

You could have killed yourself.

When you tried, you understood there was no such thing as the mercy of death for a monster like you.

Shot in the head? All it took was a whiff of blood to have you running towards it and attack whatever bled. How many times did you wake up like that?

Essentially you’re immortal, but you’re a bomb waiting to detonate. Regardless of your state, you crave meat and brains. You can’t help yourself when hunger strikes.

So the cycle repeats.

With friends. Without them. Joining a camp or staying as a stray. Your fate is to die a million deaths until a cure is found or you burn to ashes. You wonder if that would actually end it, but you’re still not as desperate. Not yet. Not when you could help real humans. Real survivors reach the conclusion where nobody ends like you.

But you know you’re not the only one. Soon enough, humans are slowly going extinct.

You don’t have time, and so do they.

If you don’t break the cycle, you won’t die.

But you can’t do this alone. So in a last attempt to finish it, you try to find humans who could join you and a stray who just understood what they really are now. You can’t trust them. Not the zombie with insaciable hunger playing the part of zombie pet to illustrate other humans about your knowledge. Not the humans who always wonder why you eat so little, but are so strong.

You can’t trust yourself to keep the act for long, either.

You better hurry before hunger starts another cycle.

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Fallen Bridges

...eheheh. 

Hope you like this. Can´t believe I´m actually working on this. 

Taglist:

Please tell me if you wish to be added or taken out of the taglist!

CW//Pet whump, emotional whump, failed escape attempt, recapture, ptsd, grief, mentions of child death, suicidal ideation, shock collars, ghosts and angst. so much angst. 

He couldn´t breathe. Even if he knew it was useless to try to escape, he didn´t stop running. Just to make sure he wasn't followed, he turned his head, making himself trip down a short hill. He rolled and crashed against a puddle on the side of the road. 

However, for a second, the two centimeter puddle became a lake where his head was submerged and kept there a minute. Then two. Screams became bubbles that popped when they reached the surface.

With a gasp, he returned to reality, paddling and slamming his back against the busted pipe the water was pouring from. 

Albus gasped like a fish out of the water, the telltales of a panic attack taking his lungs captive. 

He couldn´t stop, he wasn´t safe, but where was safe? Was there a place like that for him? He pulled himself up…only to fall back on his elbows when his legs refused to stop shaking violently. 

His heart was pounding so hard he feared it would beat out of his chest.

“Calm down! You gotta calm down, Albus! This is all a big mistake,” he screamed inside his head, his pitiful attempts at breathing only making his chest clench harder. 

“This is all a big misunderstanding. I- I didn´t-” he said, clenching a hand over his chest with a pained groan. “M-Mister Claude just- just... had an episode,” he tried to reason between pants “M-Mister Claude didn´t mean t-to put on the collar…” he half laughed between huffs, immediately stopping when his trembling fingers passed around the box of the shock collar. The electrodes punctured into his skin with how tight the collar had been cinched. 

The pet´s forehead began to pearl with sweat. 

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Discarded

I went crazy lmao. Anyways you missed this? I hope you did. It’s convoluted? Yes did I still enjoy writing it? Yes. Enjoy!

CW//animal attack, pet whump, implied torture, blood, superhero and villain whump, collars, conditioning, reluctant caretaking, dehumanization. Ask to tag if I missed anything

Taglist:

The battery isn´t strong enough to feed the machine. Not anymore. 

The battery can barely process what is happening when it´s dumped outside. After almost a year of fighting to live while hooked to the machine, its wrists are numb and bloody. It had crawled around for a long time now, so putting its legs under it when dragged and pushed was something it was no longer accustomed to doing. That was no excuse to try and do better for Master, the battery knew. So it tried its best to walk again until Master kicked it out on the street.

“Get lost” Master spat at it shutting the door behind them. 

Where? The battery had nowhere to run to anymore. Master made sure of that. They had made sure it knew that millions of times. 

The battery had become loyal and would go wherever Master told it to. Sensing Master was mistaken about their order, the battery waited. Kneeling at the door with its head down, it waited for the order on where to go. 

An hour passed by in a blink. 

Then two. 

The battery blinked once, then twice before bracing itself for a beating for knocking on the metal door. It was outside, but the battery was not restrained… had Master forgotten? The battery’s head pounded as it sat back, catching its breath before standing up using the wall as leverage, and then trying to open the door to go back inside.

The world blurred around the edges as it would sometimes after losing food privileges, but the battery pulled through and kept trying to open the door.

It shouldn´t be outside. Its place was next to Master and the machine. But… the battery’s world smudged as a smell of dirty rain flooded its senses, only noticing a moment later it had collapsed on the floor.

The battery was outside because Master had wanted it. There were no shackles around its wrists. It had been released from its duty…

Then, was this…Freedom? No, the battery still had the collar around its neck. It was anything but free.

A test? No, its Master doesn´t play silly games like that. 

The battery pulls the last of its energy to sit on its heels, kneeling, before the closed doors. 

“W-Where should I go now, Master?” It tries in a hoarse voice. It doesn´t mind waiting a few more hours for a reply that doesn´t come. Its life had consisted of endless waiting, after all. 

It´s by the time the day dies into the night, that it realizes Master was long gone from the other side of the door.

The battery’s hair clung to its face as the water poured down on it, dripping tears its body couldn’t make anymore.

The weight of its Master´s words crush it, but what was it but its Master´s battery? 

Its orders were clear.

Limping heavily, it stands up and walks away aimlessly. It had stopped being human a long time ago. It had turned into just a battery for whatever plans its Master had. It was a tool and without a Master, its life had no meaning or direction. A complete waste of space.

A waste of space doesn´t deserve a bed to sleep and rest in, nor does it deserve to eat or have a name. A waste of space doesn´t get to have the collar Master gave it as proof of their ownership. 

The battery decides it's not needed to take off the collar to burn it from where it hangs against its throat. Such considerations are reserved for humans. Using just a little bit of its powers to set it on fire shouldn´t be a problem, but just brushing their fingertips against the lock makes it immediately drop its hands back to its sides. 

No, no. No touching. No using its powers when not hooked to the machine. Merely hours away from Master and it has forgotten already? No. Can´t break Master´s rules even if they don´t want to be its Master anymore. 

But then, now that it’s been discarded, is it allowed to touch? Or is it not allowed? Would it be punished for keeping it? Which is the correct answer? It doesn’t know.

That´s why a battery needs a Master. Because it is no longer a human, it can´t take decisions for itself.

After pondering a little longer, it gives up on coming up with an answer it’s not capable of getting before it crawls into a hall in the wall. 

The place is dirty and so tiny, the battery has to fold its legs and neck to fit. It’s so tight, it can´t help but relax, letting out a purr of contentment at the familiar sensation of containment. At least this is a feeling it knows well. Stored, like in the cage. 

Would Master come for it if it waited there? No, once useless, Master wouldn´t even spare a look. The battery slowly closed its eyes.

Then, would any of Master´s friends take it like they threatened to do before? It was a broken battery now, though. He couldn´t even be useful and use its powers anymore.

No wonder Master had discarded it.

Did a broken battery still have some use to someone?

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You are a vampire hunter. Your roommate is a vampire. Neither of you can afford the apartment on your own so if one of you attacks the other you’ll lose the apartment. The tension between you two is increasing by the day.

“You know you should have told me you were into this kinda thing” the damn beast said as I finished tying the knots of the rope. 

“I´m not” 

They giggled. “I don´t think you completely do this for the money tho?” they asked with that nonchalant smile of theirs. Satisfied with the knot, I stood up looking at the bound beast before me. They didn´t look the tiniest bit inhuman. No wonder even I, a renowned hunter who had fallen into misery, would swallow up such a lie. 

“Like what you see?” they tilted their head at me. 

“I will like it better in a minute” I said as I reached for the ring gag. They pouted. 

“We said no gags”

I sighed, turning the tablet hooked up to the camera so they could read the messages left by the viewers “People has spoken”

“We can afford to dissapoint them a little, can´t we? It´s still the 14th...” they insisted. We still had time before the tenant came banging on our door, indeed. But...

“We said we would try to move as soon as possible too” the vampire glared at me, but on their knees, tied as they were, they were far more pathetic than intimidating. Well, maybe I was even more pathetic, using them like that. I shook my head. No point of berating myself over it. “I will take off the gag option for the next poll, yes?” I said as I walked behind them. They opened their mouth to argue but I put it in faster and slowly worked through the buckles as he growled. 

I shushed them as I went back to my position in order to start the livestream. I looked at them one more time. They were already weakly jerking against the ropes in uncomfortability, their eyes shooting me glares as drool began to pool in their mouth. 

Regardless of how much they looked to hate it, their member was already making a tent in their tiny boxers. 

I couldn´t hold the smirk coming to my face when they opened their legs a tiny bit more, straining against the ropes. 

Maybe I did do this for other things than money.

“Tell me when you´re ready” I told them with my hand on the keyboard.

They took a deep breath, closing their eyes before nodding at me. 

I pressed the play button. 

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A wanderer hero bids farewell to yet another world they save. They continue their travels, unaware of their own impact in that world. However, they won´t come back. That´s their own rule. And the inhabitants of that world know it, but grieve so much, they can´t bear to let them go. 

So they create copies of the legendary hero. Dolls that resemble them in strength but not in mind. Some, the closest to the hero, try to get the dolls to act exactly like the hero, in an effort to have them back. Others, see the dolls´ potential as weapons. 

There are dolls to sooth the grieving, and there are dolls who create disasters on their maker´s orders. 

Those destructive dolls create chaos when the one they´re modeled after helped saved. This doesn´t escape some of the doll´s simple minds, but what can a simple doll do against their creators? Would they give up such a purpose in order to be more like someone who doesn´t even know about their existence? 

And so, wars are won and lost with battles fought with identical dolls on each side. Centuries, pass by and the hero´s tale twists. Millenia after, the heroics of one wanderer have become myths of an evil entity who reproduced in their own image to bring discord to the world. 

Nobody remembers the original story besides the oldest dolls. Half broken, their appearances changed or locked into basements to be protected. The dolls who spent their times trying to be the wanderer they resembled in strength and mind by hearing their closest companions tell their stories. After millenia, those dolls stop hiding and clenching their empty chests, they go outside to clean their reputation. 

One of those dolls encounters an ancient soldier doll in their journey. 

That doll was created for war. To be used and discarded when it shattered. So the doll that was meant to heal wounds by those that leave behind others can´t stop themselves from trying to help it. 

Both dolls had an original they took after, and while both had questions for them, neither could get answers from someone who wasn´t there anymore. There was no point to be like them. So, can this two dolls really give a proper meaning to their existance, if not based on someone else´s?

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Empty rooms are such a funny thing.

Is it the absence of what made it its home what makes it feel eerie?

Or is it the leftover feelings in the walls?

Like the most silent plead to be remembered.

“I’m not anymore, but I was here”

It doesn’t matter if you close the door to an empty room.

If you didn’t want to open it when it was full.

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*click, click* typing the contents of the project. 

Presents said project to supervisor and they just scratch their head saying they didn´t understand you at all. 

*click, click* re-typing the contents of the project keeping in mind the revision details. 

Presents project again only to come out of it with no helpful advice or revision details on why it´s wrong. 

*click, click* you type. You don´t know if you´re just messing it all up, but you still try.

Presents project again, multiple times, fixing every new mistake with no valuable input despite asking. Your project is becoming unbearably complicated. 

Remember you´re fixing mistakes over and over and over again because of your lack of expertise. 

Break up in tears for an hour after each revision because you just don´t know how to fix all the mistakes. 

Pick yourself up. 

*click, click* keep on typing. 

Is this worth it?

*click, click, click?

If you drop it is just gonna be another failed project. 

*click, click*

How come you can´t fix any mistakes? Maybe you´re stupid. 

*click, cli-*

Break down. Go on. Waste time. 

*click, click, click*

Ah, it´s time to present it. 

...

*click, click*

There´s so many mistakes to fix...

...

...

I don´t know how to fix them. 

...

I don´t know how to keep on going. 

...

...

...

...*click, click, click*

There´s no point in making it fun. I just need to finish it.

*click, click, click*

There´s so many mistakes...

*click, click*

I´m so tired of trying...

*click...click...click?*

...

...

...

Why did I even start doing this?

...

...

...

...

...*click, click*

I guess I will figure it out later. 

*click, click, click, click...*

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I'm not sure I can express this sentiment strongly enough, but I'm going to try via the medium of large bolded text.

Write what the fuck you want.

Write what makes you happy. Write what makes your soul sing. Write what fucks you up and makes you cry. Write what comforts you. Write what distracts you. Write what you want to read. Write what you want to watch.

Write what you want to dream about tonight.

Write what you can't get enough of. Write what you're completely obsessed with. Write what wakes you up at 4am and drags you out of bed because you can't stop thinking about what your characters are going to do next.

Write what turns you on, if that's your vibe. Write characters you're in love with and characters who inspire you and characters you want to be friends with and characters you fucking hate but oh my god they're so much fun.

Write about things you would sell your soul to do in real life and things you would never do in real life. Write about things that are happening right now and things that happened a thousand years ago and things that might happen in the future and things you wish could happen.

Write to get a publishing deal or to sell your books yourself or not to sell your books at all. Write for your friends or for strangers or for the people who reblog your posts on Tumblr and send you songs that remind them of your characters.

Write for yourself.

Fuck any system that tells you there's only one right way to create or one valid way to share your writing. Your story, the way you tell it, has so much value. Make people smile or piss people off or do both of those things because art is divisive and fascinating and beautiful.

Start writing. Keep writing. And write what the fuck you want.

Me writing about Sann and Albus moving away to be on their own and be on their free will: good soup

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cloudstation

That post that's like "stop writing characters who talk like they're trying to get a good grade in therapy" really blew the door wide open for me about how common it's become for a character's emotional intelligence to not be taken into consideration when writing conflict. I remember the first time I went to therapy I had such a hard time even identifying what I was feeling, let alone had the language to explain it to someone else. Of course there are plenty of people who've never been to therapy a day in their life who are in tune to their emotions. But even they would have some trouble expressing themselves sometimes. You have to take into account there are plenty of people who are uncomfortable expressing themselves and people who think they're not allowed to feel certain ways. It also makes for more interesting conflict to have characters with different levels of understanding.

Gushing under the cut

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