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To be ruined to satisfy another’s desire

@albino-whumpee / albino-whumpee.tumblr.com

Icon by @patomarzm || Whump || They/them // 23 // Moya // spicy content occasionally // vents a lot, sorry
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reblogged

The wishing well

Anonymous asked:
Astral for the word drabbles?

This has been on my drafts for so long ahh sorry;;;

CW// Pet whump, mentioned past torture and noncon body modifications, grief and death mention, identity crisis, trauma recovery, trauma survivors navigating relationships, mute whumpee, whumpee caretaker and emotional whump, but honestly this is mostly fluff.

Tag list: asked to be tagged or taken off it!

Hope you like it~

It was a quiet, particularly warm night when Albus woke up alone. His eyes were unfocused while his hand searched for the now familiar warmth of the other boy, only to find his spot growing colder. Half asleep, Albus lifted his eyes to the door leading to the garden. A cold breeze leaked through the open door.

It wasn’t unusual for Sann to wake up in the middle of the night and finding impossible to go back to sleep. Shifting on the bed aimlessly until he woke up and he could tuck himself under his chin for a few minutes, finding the albino’s gentle hand, as he listened to a lullaby. The soothing humming was the only thing that got him to finally sleep, before Albus kissed him goodbye and went to work.

It wasn’t the first time Sann had walked outside to lay at the edge of the pool with his legs on the water to stargaze, either.

As far away as they were, the city lights couldn´t taint the sky a dirty gray. The vast black was filled with small strokes of white glowing as they ran down in quick succession. One after the other. Some spots vibrating in bright red and greens, as they disappeared into the shadows. 

Laying down with his arms to the side the boy that told him this specific shower was called the Quadrantids, looked at the sky with empty eyes. Albus didn´t have to look up to know where his eyes were.

Just as back then, when looking through searched images of the night sky, the Sirius star always quieted his excited signing that usually took less than a few minutes to trail off about the wonders of the universe and how humans had barely even scrapped its secrets thanks to science. More often than not, Albus could barely and would have to resort to the notebook to understand what he was trying to say, earning him a little annoyed pout when the albino handed him the pen. Curiously enough, as his knowledge began to come back, Sann was also starting up to use signs Zarai had told him sounded more like an Spanish word.

Albus was so happy to see him remember something from his past that filled him with happiness, but every time, every single time his eyes fell on the Sirius star, the glow in his eyes would dim, casting a quiet, but vicious, tempest inside his mind that forced him to stillness.

Albus could see that same storm in his eyes that night, but he had his fair share of rain to not share his umbrella.

“It’s a bit cold today” he said as he laid down next to the other boy, covering both of them with the blanket before looking up, exhaling a small awe at the show above. He kept staring for a while until a thought rolled out of his tongue “It’s like a wishing well with infinite gold”

“What?” Sann tweaked his lips up and then down with a slight frown.

“Y-You know those! Toss a coin down the well and your wish will come true, deal” he turned to find Sann staring at him blinking owlishly “ok, look. All this stars?” He waved his hand across the sky “your coins. All of them. How many wishes are there? You can wish for whatever you want!” He said thankful the dark of the night didn’t let Sann see his cheeks going red.

Sann took a deep breath before looking at the night sky again. His eyes gaining that shine again “Anything?”

Albus hummed as reply “Anything” quickly his eyes followed an especially bright star on the sky “It´s red! Look! Quick! Make a wish!”

“There’s literally a thousand falling!” Sann signed with an ironic smile in his face as Albus pressed his eyes closed, barely holding down a giggle.

Sann sighed shaking his head lightly. After a second, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. For a hot second he racked his brain in search of something to wish for, but everything was so different than the year before. He had more than he had ever dreamed of with his Master.

He was about to give up, until Sirius crossed his mind.

The person in the photos, the owner of the collar he wore for two years and the man that had left a scar on his Master’s heart that wouldn´t ever heal.

Sann took a deep breath. 

“I wish you knew how hard I tried to be you” he said in the most private corner of his mind.

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Exposed

This is a little extra chapter I had brewing for ages in my head but just couldn´t put it down. I actually wrote this for @whumpmasinjuly prompt for day 22, secret. Hope you like it!

CW// Pet whump, dehumanization, aftermath of whump, captivity, slavery, emotional whump, drugged whumpee, identity crisis, scars, shock collars, aftermath of torture, dissoci@tion, fear, crying and emotional breakdown. Ask to tag. 

Zarai was fuming as she drank the coffee a very shaky Albus served for her. The pet didn’t know what was going to be of him anymore. He was given three rules and he had broken all of them in less than one night. 

“Ma’am I…” he tried. 

“Not now Albus” she all but spat as she continued furiously typing on her tablet. The boy sulked and walked away in silence. Tears pricked his eyes, but something close to resignation kept them from slipping. If she decided to return him, he thought to himself, then he wouldn’t fight it. He earned it.  

He picked up the strength to speak again. 

“I-I will go check on Sann” he said without getting an answer. His heart sank on his chest as he walked to his room where Sann slept now. 

He stood still for a moment after closing the door behind him. Dragging his eyes up to look at the mess on his desk. Where promotionals and reports from the Dune and the secret project he had been leading for months. Neatly organized and prepared for another week of no sleep with the flask of vitamin gummies Sasha gave him set next to his tablet. His eyes moved to the closet then, where the few clothes he had chosen, the few plain shirts, flannel button shirts and the tennis he had bought himself were stored. Unconsciously, in an attempt to soothe himself, he passed a hand over his bare neck looking to find the leather wrapping around it. 

“Oh..” he put his hand down, remembering Zarai had taken it the night before. He was so relieved back then. He didn’t have to worry about covering it for once. It had made playing his role as ”Albus” slightly easier, real even. But now, he felt as if that identity had been confiscated. Stripping him back into being 778900, the albino pet. 

He rested his back against the door and slid down to the floor, wrapping his head around his arms and pulling his knees to his chest to suffocate the little sobs trying to escape his chest. 

Maybe it was better to just be 778900. Being only the silent pet sitting close to her at the office. Kneeling by her seat so he’s always on her reach for an absent minded stroke or fisting on his hair in frustration. Or maybe, she would keep him locked at home to spare her from having the thing that caused such embarrassment around. He pressed on his eyes with the heel of his hands as a giggle escaped his lips.

Maybe, if she was merciful enough to not return him.

The boy sat on the floor for a long time. Until his cheeks were drenched and his head hurt from holding himself from making any noise in order to not wake Sann up. 

Dragging a long breath in, he lifted himself up and walked to his closet. Carefully, he picked out the clothes he had chosen and paid for himself before walking to the bathroom to change. 

If he was going to be returned anyways, he wanted to be in clothes that made him feel like he had never given up his name. Even if it was just a second.

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Thank you to my chronic insomnia for giving me just enough focus to write this very angsty extra chapter when I have wips and work to do!

CW// pet whump, dehumanization, collars, identity crisis, emotional whump, scars, shock collars, implied torture, conditioning, amnesia, aftermath of torture.

“Oh..” he put his hand down, remembering Zarai had taken it earlier at night. He was so relieved back then. Finally not having to worry about covering it, he felt comfortable playing his role as Albus for once, but now, he felt as if that identity had been confiscated. Permanently stripping him back into being 778900, the albino pet.

He rested his back against the door and slid down to the floor to wrap his head around his arms, pulling his knees to his chest to suffocate the little sobs trying to escape his chest.

Maybe it was better to just be 778900. Being only the silent pet sitting close to her at the office. Kneeling by her seat so he’s always on her reach for an absent minded stroke or fisting on his hair in frustration. Or maybe, she would keep him locked at home to spare her from having the thing that caused such embarrassment around. He pressed on his eyes with the heel of his hand as a giggle escaped his lips when he realized that was if she was merciful enough to keep him.

The boy sat on the floor for a long time. Until his cheeks were drenched and his head hurt from holding himself from making any noise.

Dragging a long breath in, he lifted himself up and walked to his closet. Carefully, he picked out the clothes he had chosen and paid himself; and walked to the bathroom to change.

If he was going to be returned anyways, he wanted to be in clothes that made him feel like he had never given up his name. Even if it was just a second.

When he came out to look at himself in the mirror, he couldn’t help but notice the two small dots on his throat. Scars from the years of getting shocked over and over again. He looked down as his fingertips searched for the lifted skin on the back of his head, rubbing it softly when he found the scar stitches had left. As he looked down to the cuffs of his long sleeved shirt, he saw the chafed skin, still healing from the time they were trapped by metal, and then, when he extended his left wrist, he found the code bar tattoo.

He rested his back against the door and slid down to the floor to wrap his head around his arms, pulling his knees to his chest to suffocate the little sobs trying to escape his chest.

“I used to have a name, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t remember it. I only… have Albus” he dragged a shaky breath “Can I…Can I be you for a little longer?” He said, unable to stop the tears from going down.

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