John Mulaney on his way to murder Princess Diana

Star wars meets John Mulaney

bonus:

so apparently John Mulaney was Aesop in 500 B.C

@karenpage

John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld that his wife only thinks shes good at something

Well done OP, you’ve managed to capture the moment John’s spirit left his body

Jerry’s lucky that John is too polite to throw hands

Okay but I just went and watched this for myself and it’s WORSE

He’s. So uncomfortable. It’s obvious. I cut out the part where John kind of muttered, “That is true, isn’t it” about how all men think they’re funny, but his face is just screwed up in this ‘oh god what have i done what have i signed up for this is not good and this will probably go into my next comedy special of awkwardness’

Just watched this omg bless john bc jerry just keeps trying to do some “take my wife” bullshit and john very politely goes no, no.

proud of John for restraining himself from murdering a man on camera

What’s so horrifying about this to me is that this is literally Jerry Seinfeld trying to teach John Mulaney how to gaslight his wife.

Look at that dialogue. “She thinks she knows.” He’s trying to get Mulaney to see his wife’s expertise as instead a weird misperception. He’s coaching him to undercut his wife’s confidence in the truth and her own abilities.

And Mulaney replies exactly the right way: “She does know.” He asserts not only that she’s perceiving the world accurately, but that she is an expert at something he’s not good at.

Dudes, don’t take this shit from other dudes. Mulaney isn’t by any means perfect but he aced this. Stand for the truth. Defend women’s objectivity. Promote women’s expertise.

Doesnt his wife also work with antiques too?like. Isnt that part of her actual job?

I reblog this every time because I don’t think people understand that Anna is literally an interior designer. She makes absolutely stunning Victorian Lampshades. Which she designs.. for the interior of a home… she’s literally an interior designer. She doesn’t think she’s good at it, she knows she’s good at it because it’s her fucking job

John Mulaney’s doctor said he had never seen his particular hip injury in someone who “just stands there and talks.”

It’s like he escaped from an animated movie

I desperately need someone who does animation to make some bits of John Mulaney doing his Thing.

remember the flower crown trend????? it was good bring it back

Not with the Ted Bundy film closing in

I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.

When I click on a video and it tries to send me to another app:

John Mulaney needs to make another Netflix special cause I already memorized all of his work

some of y’all have never gone to make a happy birthday card, and thought “i don’t need to trace it. i know how big letters should be,” and begun with a big-ass H, followed by a big-ass A and… oh, no! oh, god! ok, all right. real skinny P with a high hump, and then we’ll put the second P below the hump of that first P, sort of like a motorcycle sidecar situation. and now you have no room for the Y, so you do a kind of curled-up noodle Y. block letters and cursive look good together. and then you go to write “Birthday” and you totally forget the lesson you just learned with “Happy.” you’re like, “yeah, but the past is the past. big-ass B. surely more letters will fit in the same space,” and it really shows.

Me irl: No one can EVER know this secret Me to 8k strangers online: You guys will never believe this

Me online

This is the only valid comment on this post

i didn’t know how much i needed andy samberg and seth meyers poking fun at john mulaneys speech pattern but now i don’t know how i lived without it (x)

me as i ingest unhealthy amounts of carbohydrates to drown out my problems 

john mulaney singlehandedly replaced supernatural’s role of having a gif reference for everything

Sooo I saw John Mulaney on Sunday

The best part of the show was during the first joke he gets really loud then noticed there was a dog in the front row and he then spent the next three minutes apologizing for scaring the dog and asking for the dogs name (it was Blanket btw) and trying to promise to be quieter and not swear for the dogs sake before realizing he couldn’t do that since his whole show revolves around loud noises.

He then struts across the stage to the the other front section and says they aren’t as fun because they don’t have a dog only for a girl in the fourth row to tell him that they did. He froze asked where in a really quiet voice and she pointed to the couple in front of her that low and behold had a Golden at their side named Horton.

He kept going back to the dogs every third joke or so and told us after seeing Horton and Blanket he seriously thought of having a Dogs only show sometime.

what a gift to mankind