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#this hurts – @alanna-the-lionheart on Tumblr
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@alanna-the-lionheart / alanna-the-lionheart.tumblr.com

My blog is a hodgepodge: mostly fandom stuff with occasional photos/inspirational posts. I mostly reblog Arrow (esp Olicity), but I also reblog Supernatural, Harry Potter, Merlin, Marvel, DC, Disney, nature, art, and cats.
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You know, this world - this sad, doomed little world - it NEEDS you. It needs every last Winchester it can get, and I will not let you die; I won't let ANY of you die. And I won't let you sacrifice yourselves. You mean too much to me; to everything. Now you made a deal - a stupid deal - and I broke it. You're welcome.

Cas breaking my heart into tiny pieces and stomping all over them in 12x09 “First Blood”

I loved everything about this scene, and not just the fact that “you mean too much to me” is probably the most emotional, human thing that Cas has ever said. But then there were the teary eyes and the tremble in his voice and the bitter anger as he said “you’re welcome” because how dare the Winchesters think about leaving him like this.

Misha’s performance utterly destroyed me, and I’m totally okay with it.

#supernatural#spn spoilers#castiel#misha collins#first blood#spn 12x09#sam winchester#dean winchester#mary winchester#the winchesters#12x09#this hurts#but it's so beautiful
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You know, Merlin...all those jokes about you being a coward...I never really meant any of them. I always thought you were the bravest man I ever met. Guess I was wrong.

Arthur to Merlin in 5x12 “Diamond of the Day, part 1″

I never knew four little words put in just the right order could hurt so damn much. But it’s fine, I didn’t need my heart then and I don’t need it now

#merlin#merthur#merlin rewatch#diamond of the day#merlln 5x12#this hurts#otp: king and lionheart
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dust2dust34

Ficlet: Something Real (Olicity, post-5x05)

Timeline: Set a few weeks after 5x05

Warning: Graphic description of nightmares re: Felicity’s PTSD and grief.

Summary: Felicity isn’t okay.

Excerpt: 

Her chest tightened so fast and hard that it made her gasp.
Felicity sat up, pushing her hand into her breastbone, hard. Her heart wasn’t slowing down; if anything, it beat faster, a nervous staccato rhythm that flooded her limbs with uneasiness. She shook her head, fighting it.
“You wanted this,” she whispered.
The words were a stark contrast to the silence in her bedroom.

(Quite a few author’s notes under the cut…)

(read on AO3)

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alanna-the-lionheart

This broke my heart into little pieces, then took those pieces and threw them on the ground and stomped on them, then picked them all back up and tried to glue them back together, except it didn't do a good job and now I'm left with this weird looking mess of a heart that I'm trying to shove back in my chest.

In other words, I loved it. It was a beautiful, painful little piece, and I think it did exactly what you wanted it to. Thanks for sharing. 💙

#olicity#olicity fic#fave fic#arrow season 5#this hurts#this is beautiful
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westallenolicitygifs
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callistawolf

spaztronautwriter:

You see that expression on Felicity’s face in the top gif? That’s the expression of a woman who’s heart just got a little bit crushed.
I’ve thought this since season 3, but Felicity just wants someone to want her. She’s fiercely independent and runs away at the first sign of trouble, but deep down she wants someone to want her so badly that they break down, that they get angry, that they fight for her. She wants someone to tell her… well exactly what Oliver told her at their fake wedding in 4x16. She wasn’t ready to hear those things then, which is why she left the team. Because Oliver was giving her everything she wanted, but she just couldn’t be with him then. It was still too raw.
I always loved in season 3 when she told Oliver he didn’t want her with Ray and Oliver said that she was wrong, he was fine with her dating Ray. Felicity didn’t like that answer, just like she didn’t like this one. Maybe it’s what she’s been telling herself she wants, for both of them to move on, but it’s not what she feels. What Felicity feels is that same “I’m not lovable” feeling she got when her dad left.
When Oliver says things like “I’m fine with you moving on” what Felicity hears is “I’m fine without you” and it kills me. Because Oliver means it considerately. He means “I just want you to be happy even if that’s not with me”. And part of her knows that, but that little seven year old inside of her can’t help but listen to the whispers in her own head telling her she’s somehow not worth loving.

That’s okay, I don’t need those feels anyhow.

I never really thought about it like this but OH MY GOD you’re right. It’s the insecure 7 year old in her. Like, I get why he’s not fighting for her and how it’s all mature and stuff but at the same time, I get her need and OH MY GOD these two are ruining my life.

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alanna-the-lionheart

“But that little seven year old inside of her can’t help but listen to the whispers in her own head telling her she’s somehow not worth loving.” 

#arrow#olicity#5x05#felicity smoak#oliver queen#this hurts#accurate#but ouch
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deadlybingo

Random sad reminder: Oliver didn’t know Donna and Quentin had broken up… 

This means that over the summer, Felicity got a crying phone call from her mother to share the news, and probably experienced her own heartbreak over her mother’s pain, Quentin’s pain, and a reminder of her own break up (on top of everything she was still feeling from both losing her job and the tragedy of Havenrock)

And then, on top of that, Felicity felt like she had to show up to the bunker and act like nothing was wrong. All because she felt and and Oliver couldn’t talk like that anymore.

GIF by begavet
#i didn't ask for this#how dare you#olicity#arrow#smoaknlance#this hurts#felicity smoak#oliver queen
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dust2dust34
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skcolicity

what further breaks my heart is the guilt that Diggle will carry :’( he’s gonna blame himself hard, I think.

Maybe Felicity, too, because she wasn’t on the comms, she might beat herself up and think “if I hadn’t left, maybe she’d be alive”

And Oliver will have to be the one to tell them, “it’s not your fault,” and help them with their survivor’s guilt for a change

And Thea’s revenge hate for Malcolm will burn brighter, and she’s going to want him dead

God knows how Quentin will take this..probably revenge hate for Darhk and he’ll try to kill him

in the following darkness surrounding Laurel’s death, Oliver will be the light that leads them out

#arrow#4x18#laurel lance#this hurts#arrow speculation#team arrow#queue
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